Breaking Trust
by fireborn012
Summary: Kakashi is a tool of his village. As a ninja he knows he has to accept his missions and do his duty, but what happens when his duty crosses his own moral code as a ninja and a man? He's asked to do the unthinkable and hurt Sakura. This time the village and his actions will destroy them both. Can they make something out of thier lives when its all over? Kakaxsaku. sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

Okay Try this one!

I know there is a huge difference in age and I'm not all _about_ the pair but I like it! 

Anyway give it a shot.

Summary: By order of the council there's a new test the girls have to take to become chunin and though Tsunade doesn't like it, she has no choice but to enforce it. After all the Hokage is only a military leader… Unfortunately Sakura, 14, has finally passed the chunin exam just in time for the new test and it's one that she and Kakashi are going to have to do together, no matter how much he's against it. What happens when the test gets a little too personal and an unsuspecting consequence occurs that could ruin both of them?

Chapter Rating: M-this is a long first chapter for a reason, a lot of cussing, alcohol use and a lot of stuff happens including a mature scene. You have been warned.

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* * *

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"Kakashi,'s late again," Shizune muttered looking down at Ton Ton, "I hope Lady Tsunada's taking it well."

"Oink Oink," Ton Ton looked up at her with worried eyes. Shizune smiled back as they turned down the hall leading towards the Hokaga's office. A loud bang rang in her hears and she stood stunned as the door opened and a frightened Ebisu was bowing down over and over again.

"Please forgive me Lady Hokaga," the man bowed so low it was a wonder his sun glasses didn't fall off. "I apol-"

"Just get out of here!" Tsunada's voice was heard loud and clear as she yelled. Ebisu nodded and ran past Shizune not even bothering to look her direction.

"Oh boy," Shizune muttered walking to the door hesitantly. "Lady Tsunada," she voiced making sure the elder/younger, woman knew it was here and not the offending other ninja.

"There you are Shizune," Tsunada growled. Her head was resting on her hand, an empty glass of sake beside her. The Hokaga looked worn and tired as she stared down.

"H…Have you talked to the council about taking away the-"

"Yes," Tsunada snapped. "And they looked at me like I was an idiot," she slammed her fists on the table and it shook creaking under her strength. Another hit like that and the table was sure to fall apart. "Who the hell do they think they're talking to?"

"Lady Tsunada," Shizune sighed with pity. Though the woman pretended to have a heart of steel she really was a mother like figure caring for everyone, or grandma as Naruto called her. But this wasn't her fault she shouldn't be blaming herself for something that was he council's decision.

"Yo," a familiar voice appeared at the open window as the missing junin appeared on the sill. Letting himself in, he hopped down and stood leaning against the wall.

"Your late," Tsunada growled staring at him. Her eyes were like daggers and Shizune herself felt like shivering but Kakashi stood still and smiled.

"Well you see funny story actually I was on my way here when a black crow and a white cat-" Even Kakashi knew to stop with the look Tsunada was giving him.

"I take it I have a mission," the man finally picked up on the high level tension in the room. Especially when he said those words.

"Your student Sakura passed the exam," Tsunada voiced. "Congratulations."

Kakashi frowned slightly. Sakura had finally passed the chunin exams and they had finished celebrating just two days ago, and he was proud. To be honest she'd surprised him with her strength and determination but Tsunada wouldn't call him here for a pat on the back. Something was wrong. Dead wrong.

"Yes," he answered quickly.

The other woman found it hard to continue looking at him so she stared down at her desk. "I'm afraid there is another test she's going to have to take to be a full fledged chunin."

"Oh," Kakashi chose his words carefully raising an eyebrow. "What would that be?"

"The council was looking at statistics a week ago," the Hokaga seemed not to notice anyone in the room. "It seems that most of the female ninja get the high risk jobs, especially younger aged ones. Spies, medic, undercover, are eighty five percent done my females. They make up most of our critical jobs."

Kakashi stared at her taking it all in. Of course women made the best spies, who would suspect the weaker sex of memorizing conversations and recognizing critical information? The medic core was made of more women because statistically they had the better chakra control and fighting is not there forte except to a few exceptions and once again who would suspect a woman was undercover? This was all interesting but what did it have to do with Sakura?

"These jobs are all very high stressed," Tsunada voiced. She had to make the other ninja see what the council saw for it to be eaiser for him to do this, no matter how much she was against it. "The women tend to go on medication a lot more than the men do to sleep and perform basic functions, that's how stressed they are. Some have to take pills just to go the bathroom there so tense."

"But a more recent statistic shows the increase in suicides and attempted suicides in women," the Hokaga paused to prepare herself. "Most of the attempts were after they had been raped."

That got the ninja's attention. Kakashi raised and narrowed his eyebrows become tense. Had something happened to his only female student?

"The jobs these women do increase their chances of being caught and once caught their captors seem to think it's a game to use them for their pleasure," Tsunada glanced at the tense nin. This wasn't going to be easy…

"There was already twenty five cases these past six months," the woman growled. "And the council says that the four suicides out of that number was because the girls were virgins. When they were raped it was their first time and they were young like Sakura."

"What are you saying?" Kakashi asked getting tired of waiting. If someone had touched his student…

"I'm saying that most of these types of high risk mission are given to chunin and junin women and because of that the council wants every woman of that level to have had experience in that field. Experience that Sakura does not have," Tsunada voiced.

"So Sakura's a virgin?" Kakashi voiced still not understanding what the council wanted.

"Yes," Tsunada voiced suddenly tired. "And if she want's to be a chunin she has to lose her virginity by the end of this week."

"What are you asking me to do?" Kakashi voiced with a strong feeling that he wouldn't like her answer.

"Either you get someone to or you do it," Tsunada voiced. Shizune looked away as the Hokaga finished. "But your mission is to make sure she loses her virginity by Saturday night."

Kakashi stood looking at the younger version of the old woman in absolute shock. "You can't expect me to…not with Sakura."

"I expect you to do your job as a ninja of this village," Tsunada voiced knowing the man was going to be difficult. "And I expect her to do her job and understand."

"What am I suppose to do?!" Kakashi shocked both women by sounding pleading and angry at the same time. Neither of them seen the White Fang's son lose his temper. The man raised his hands wide, "Should I just go up to her and say hey Sakura mind doing it with me, this is the only way you can full fill your dream? I don't think she'd buy it."

Kakashi's fist clenched. "This is the most stupid-"

"This is by order of the council," Shizune interrupted him. "Lady Tsunada had nothing to do with it. They just decided it would be easier on the female chunins if they had some good memories to cope with it later if it happened."

"Bullshit," Kakashi growled. "Utter freaking bullshit."

"Kakashi please understand this is hard for Lady Tsunada."

"It better be hard!" Kakashi growled. " I kno-" he stopped and clenched his fist at his sides. "Get out of her Shizune, I want to talk to her alone." His voice was so hard and commanding that Shizune froze along with Ton Ton beside her.

She glanced at Tsunada who nodded holding her left hand to her head. If the younger woman stayed she would never convince Kakashi to do this.

"Go buy that pig some treats," Kakashi growled. Ton Ton looked up at him and snorted lightly as he followed Shizune out.

A pregnant silence filled the room as Kakashi tried to grip exactly what was going on and Tsunada waited for him to blow up.

"Tell me I don't have to do this," he begged the older woman. Tsunada had known him from when he was a child before she'd left the village. Though they weren't close than or now Kakashi couldn't see the woman that his sensei had held so high allowing this to happen. It just didn't add up.

"It's not in my power," the woman voiced defeated.

"You and I both know for a fact that that doesn't matter," Kakashi found his voice darkening. "I've fallen in the same damn pit as those women a number of times." There he'd said it, maybe she'd listen.

"Kakashi you know its' different from a man raping a woman and a man raping a boy," the woman sighed.

"Damn you don't get it," the genius junin sounded frustrated. It's was not different!

"That doesn't matter," he shook his head. "It should be Sakura's decision of when she wants to and who she wants to with. You can't expect me, a man thirteen years older than her, her sensei, leader figure, to do this!"

"You don't have a choice," Tsunada grumbled. "And you only have until tomorrow night."

"What?!" Kakashi asked backing away.

"I lied when I told you til the end of this week for Shizune's sake. She can barely handle the situation as it is, I thought you would fair better." She sounded disappointed and Kakashi snorted. Over this situation?

"You have until tomorrow to arrange a way for her to lose it," Tsunada growled.

"You can't be serious," Kakashi slammed his own fist in her desk looking right into her eye. "I swore to protect them, I am not taking away something like that from her. She trusts me and I spent years building that and I'm not going to let it crumble for one night just to do what a bunch of old farts sitting so tall because something is so far up their ass."

"Do you think I like asking you to do this?!" This time Tsunada got completely pissed. How dare he make it seem like she enjoyed this?! "Wither you and I like it or not statistics is on their side and they outrank the both of us. So suck it and do your damn job! You're a ninja remember?!"

Kakashi backed up from her desk, his head down as he shook it. "I am not a puppet-

"You're a leaf ninja before their sensei remember," Tsunada growled. "You'll do this mission or you will be sentenced at court and someone else will get the job to take care of Sakura and it'll be the council's choice."

Kakashi lifted up his head in a quick movement staring at her stunned. The council didn't like the Haruno family because Sakura's uncle who had once been one of them had been an open person about his views before his assassination. And Sakura's father still pointed his finger at the village as being responsible for his death. Said that the council couldn't take the educated man putting them out public ally and showing how much of an idiot they all were. If they got to choose how it would happen for Sakura than it would sure be someone who would push her towards death.

"You know it's in her best interest for you to do it," Tsunada voiced. "Come on Kakashi," Tsunada voiced. "She trusts you and I trust you to be gentle with her." She had taken a liking to the pink haired girl and was waiting for a chance to ask her to become her apprentice. She wouldn't trust another man with this job except for Kakashi, the man was a student of the fourth, a responsible junin, and gentle man when he wanted to be. Except for the fact that he read those books…

"What about the other female genins," Kakashi voiced almost in defeat. Tsunada was right. To protect Sakura, he'd have to hurt her. Damn he wanted another choice.

"Asuma and the others will have to do the same."

Kakashi sighed in disgust. "Next they'll be asking me to do the same with Sasuke and Naruto." His male students weren't bad looking in fact Sasuke had already had a swarm of fan girls for a while. If they were to pick a qualified male to do a job like that it would be Sasuke, but would they ask him to do the same to him or was it just a double standard?

"Tsunada," Kakashi looked at her. "I will do what I have to but you must promise me that Sakura will be the only one." He stared at her deep in the eyes. "I want you to get this damned rule lifted." He couldn't let another one fall into the same fate. He might not be able to save Sakura but the other females her age….

"Sakura's been taking birth control to regulate her period," Tsunada voiced. "Her next cycle starts in two weeks so…"

Kakashi nodded. "If that is all Hokaga-sama," he turned and walked to the window jumping out. Tsunada stared at his figure as it disappeared in a puff of smoke. The tone in his voice hurt her and she wondered if this mission would be the undoing of both of them.

"I need some more sake," she muttered. But a new light glimmered in her eye and she was already making plans to meet up with the council again.

* * *

Kakashi stared at the darkening sky an hour later. It was already eight o'clock and the world was going to sleep again. It was too dim to read his book, not that he had been his mind preoccupied with different things so he put it away. Standing his mind still rolled over possibility after possibility as he got up leaning against the memorial stone. He'd hoped Obito or maybe Rin would have an answer to his problem, but they were silent. Always silent.

He found himself moving til he stopped and looked down at her through her window. Sakura was already dressed for bed being responsible and was listening to music in her room. He remembered vaguely that her parents were gone, they'd be home in two days. No wonder Tsunada wanted it done so fast. She needed a day to recuperate and come to terms with what he was going to do.

He watched for who knows how long as her small body finally decided to go to sleep. He wondered at why she would be going to bed so early, than remembered that he had scheduled a training session tomorrow morning. Even with the light out her pale skin gleamed in the moon and he saw what a beautiful person she really was. Leaning back watching he remembered her fascination with Sasuke and how the boy wouldn't even look her way.

"You're a fool," he muttered. His male student didn't realize what a good person she actually was, she was more than he probably deserved. "What a minute."

A thought hit him and Kakashi couldn't resist mentally slapping himself over the realization. There was only one way Sakura would give herself up willingly and only one person she would be happy to do 'it' with so he wouldn't have to.

"Sasuke."

* * *

"Where the heck is he?!" Naruto growled. Once again their sensei was late, four hours late.

"I don't know Naruto," Sakura shot back with irritation. "But he'll get here when he-"

"Sorry guys," Kakashi came up the path.

"Your late Kakashi!" Both Naruto and Sakura yelled together and their teacher had to stop himself from wincing in anguish. Late last night he couldn't sleep because of the 'mission' so he'd made a bee line to the nearest bar and drank til five this morning. His hangover was no where near from gone when he'd woken up only five minutes ago.

"I realize that Naruto," Kakashi snapped. "You don't have to say it! I was in bed late last night." His frank rational and snappy attitude stopped the teen. Kakashi had never admitted to being late due to a normal reason of oversleeping. Naruto was waiting for the lost penguins or something; this response stopped him in his tracks. It was so normal that even Sasuke looked at the junin.

"Jeez," Naruto threw his hands up on his head embarrassed and hurt at his response. "You don't have to get all mad about it," he muttered.

"Lets start the training. Today we'll deal with sparing," Kakashi spoke. He was so not up to fighting today and he knew his voice portrayed it.

"Um Sensei," Sakura spoke hesitantly and Kakashi almost jumped at his name. She had plagued his thoughts all night in his deepest nightmares were everything feel apart.

"Yes," he couldn't bring himself to say her name. Hell he couldn't even look at her.

"Aren't we suppose to be working with our ninja tools," she spoke quite fast and correct unfortunately. Ninja tools was just too much talking, way to much talking for Kakashi to do this morning. He wasn't up to explaining technique or anything.

"Aw man this is great!" Naruto yelled jumping up. "I'm finally going to show you what I got old man!" Sasuke snorted and Kakashi sighed.

"Enough, training starts now," he voiced and watched as they all disappeared in the trees.

"Well this is simple," he sighed pulling out his book. The woman was running hard from the man but he wasn't about to have that…

Jumping to the side the kunai missed him but he was surprised as it hit the tree and blew up. Damn he wasn't going to get to finish his book today…

Kakashi dodged as five Naruto's came out the woods and hit two of the clones having the disappear only to be forced to spin as Sasuke's fire ball came out of nowhere. They were getting better.

Suddenly Naruto was in front of him forming hand signs. Shit. A summoning jutsu.

Kakashi threw two kunai at the blonde ninja before it could be completed. He sighed, didn't he know better than to perform a jutsu right in front of his opponent? A kunai swept past him with a pink ribbon and he stared at it as he caught it in his hand. Sakura.

An image of the pink haired female stopped him as he looked down at the ribbon between his fingers. It was soft and felt cold between his fingers like the weapon it was attached too. He couldn't help but wonder at her laugh, smile and motherly ways as he clenched it in his fists. Thoughts of what was to come to the innocent girl made his skin crawl. She didn't deserve it.

He didn't move fast enough as Sasuke punched him in the face sending him reeling back until he caught himself. The entire field stopped as his students stared at him and Sasuke.

"No way," Naruto muttered. There was absolutely no way Sasuke managed to actually knock their sensei the legendary copy nin off his feet. It wasn't possible.

"Kakashi sensei," Sakura voiced in worry while inner Sakura hooted "GO SASUKE! CHA!"

"Humph maybe you should pay better attention," Sasuke smirked over confident.

"Brat," Kakashi spoke with a light fuse. Sasuke didn't hear him but noticed Sasuke's sharingan was activated, well if he wanted to play that way…His left hand and moved up and lifted up the hentai-ate.

Both Sakura and Naruto jerked back with their sensei smirking back at them. Sasuke grunted. So Kakashi was through playing nice.

Moving faster than they could see Kakashi dove behind Sasuke sending a kick that the younger barely avoided than rammed into Naruto who flew off five feet. He didn't bother Sakura, he couldn't. Sasuke was on him in a second as suspected with the fire ball jutsu which Kakashi threw right back. Naruto came behind him and struck only to find it was a clone.

"Dang it where'd he go," Naruto muttered. Sasuke looked around using his bloodline. "Sakura look out!"

"What," Sakura turned kunai in her hand but Kakashi just side stepped her and went straight for Sasuke sending three stars at him before Naruto's clone came behind him and he was forced to grab a hold of it.

"Your going down sensei," Naruto's voice hissed in his ears through the clone. "Nice try," was his answer as Kakashi turned getting out it's grip and struck across the neck.

"Phoenix flower jutsu!" Kakashi moved out of the way and saw the jutsu heading right to Sakura. Moving quickly he picked up the lighter female and moved.

"Damn Sasuke watch what you're doing! You could have hit Sakura!" Naruto yelled.

"She could move," Sasuke growled.

"What your comrade," Kakashi voiced putting Sakura down. She smelled like strawberries today and Kakashi couldn't help but sniff deep into the fragrance as his head brushed by her hair. Pakkun had to be mistaken when he said they used the same shampoo. Sakura smelled much nicer.

"Oh shit," he muttered and moved as far away from the female as he could. Sakura wasn't going to have it though and threw four stars at him disappeared closer to Naruto for cover. One of the stars grazed his jacket and the others saw it.

"What's his problem today," Sasuke muttered. Kakashi seemed completely out of it. Well his lose and Sasuke's gain.

"Naruto now!" Right the blonde yelled back. "Shadow clone jutsu."

Thousands of Naruto came out and they surrounded Kakashi who copied the jutsu with less fever than he had hoped. He'd barely made half of the clones Naruto had. With the distraction in place Sasuke and Naruto both worked on their moves, Rasengan and Chidori. Sakura stood back to cover them.

Feeling them gain more chakra Kakashi quickly mowed down the rest of the clones making his own disappear. There was only Sakura in his way from stopping the two and that was enough. He waited for them to finish their techniques pretending to come up with a strategy.

"Oh man he's going to run right through me," Sakura thought nervous holding on to the weapon in front of her. She had no chance of defending them from him, Kakashi was just too strong. She was surprised when he stood there, tense yes but he just stood there and let Naruto and Sasuke finish building up their charka. That wasn't like him. Usually he would point and use all their weaknesses like a normal opponent why was he holding back?

"Ahhh!" Naruto and Sasuke yelled at the same time running forward on either side of her so fast her hair hit her face. Before they could hit Kakashi grabbed both their wrists and threw the attacks harmlessly in the ground as he jumped away.

"Dang it," Naruto sighed. "We almost had him."

"I'm surprised he let us pull it off," Sasuke voiced staring back at Sakura. Why hadn't he attacked her yet?

"That's enough for today," Kakashi spoke pulling down the head band. "I want to talk to Sasuke but you two can go." He pointed at Naruto but didn't even look at Sakura.

"But I'm not through," Naruto complained. "Believe it!"

"There's a sale at the ramen shop," Kakashi happily added holding up his finger pretending to be normal. He was sure the others had picked up on how weird he was acting, Sasuke was a no doubt but the act seemed to fool Naruto.

The boy's stomach growled and he laughed. "Okay fine but I'll get you next time Kakashi! Bye!" He ran off towards the shop.

Kakashi watched him leave and listened closely as Sakura approached Sasuke. He knew how she felt about him but if this had any chance of working out than he needed to see how Sasuke really felt about Sakura.

"Um Sasuke I was thinking maybe after you finished talking to Kakashi-sensei that," she paused fiddling with her fingers slightly. "Maybe you would like to go get some lunch together since it's so late."

"I've got training to do," the Uchila answered coldly not even looking at her.

"Oh that's okay," Sakura seemed crest fallen but smiled anyway. "Maybe next time. See ya later than, bye Kakashi." She turned and walked away slowly as Kakashi watched her. Sasuke didn't even look up.

"She deserves better than him," Kakashi thought. "At least for now, one day he'll change though." He watched her walk away and couldn't help but let his eyes waver down her body as what he had to do occurred to him again. She wasn't that bad looking, not fully grown yet but she had potential to be a heartbreaker. Good curves already, swaying butt, everything.

"What did you want?" Sasuke voiced not noticing his sensei's view.

"Damn Kakashi," the male yelled at himself. "You were just checking out your student!" Ichi Ichi Paridise was changing him for the worst.

"Oh yes," Kakashi looked at Sasuke. "I was wondering how good your experience with women is."

Sasuke seemed frozen in time. "W…W…Wha…What?"

Kakashi smiled, finally a question that could actually shock the last of the dead clan. It was about damn time. "I said what's your experience of women? I mean you have a ton of fan girls and I was just wondering how far you've ever gotten."

He stared closely and watched as the pale cheeks grew red and the teen looked away not meeting his gaze. "What I do in my private time is none of your concern."

This wasn't looking good. "Aw you can tell me I might have an A-rank mission for you," Kakashi used it as a bargaining chip. The boy had always wanted to get stronger fast and an A-rank mission almost guaranteed a fight with a high ranking criminal. Perfect training for Itachi.

"I," Sasuke seemed reluctant. "Haven't been with anyone."

Kakashi's heart sank. Sasuke was a cherry. Sure he'd suspected it with only Itachi keeping the boy's mind but that fact ended any hope right there. He wouldn't know what he was doing and it would probably hurt Sakura more than if he did it. Besides how did you ask to virgins to lose it for a mission.

"Than you should read this," Kakashi threw the book in his face trying to play it off as if that had been his plan all along to get the boy to read it.

"No," Sasuke answered still a bright red.

"Fine," Kakashi grinned. "Your lost." With that the nin disappeared leaving a very freaked out and embarrassed teen behind.

"Damn it," Kakashi voiced in his house. With Sasuke out of the picture that left the job up to him. It was probably better off that way anyway because how could the girl live if she knew that the only reason her crush showed interest in her was because of a mission? That he'd hurt her the first time? At least if he did it than she would have Sasuke to run to…

"Oh man," the junin fell on the couch. What would happen when Naruto and Sasuke found out? The two would kill him, or at least try, there was no doubt in his mind that they would succeed but it would destroy team seven.

"I need a drink," and he got up and fixed himself the strongest thing he could find before going to find Gai. He was so angry that he needed some form of a punching bag and he knew the one man who would never say no to an all out battle.

* * *

"I don't know what his issue today was," Sakura voiced as she picked at the flowers in Ino's family shop. "I mean in training he wouldn't even look at me or say bye when I left."

"Fascinating," Ino voiced leaning back in her chair as she filled her nails behind the desk. "Are you going to buy something or what?"

Sakura couldn't help but smile. Ever since the chumin exam finished and she'd past Ino had been pissed off at her because now she was stronger and Sasuke was all about strong women. Of course she'd been able to grow her hair out faster than Sakura had but still, Sasuke had took a better notice of her and had even gotten her an awesome hand made kunai for a gift afterwards.

Ino was just plan jealous and Sakura bathed in the feeling being admitted by her and not the other way around.

"Look it's already ten o'clock I'd like to go to sleep sometime," Ino-pig voiced. "It's late Sakura go home."

"Fine," Sakura picked up a small bouquet and gave her the money.

"Oh let me guess that's for Sasuke," Ino voiced rolling her eyes. "Honestly Sakura the flowers are getting old."

"No there not," Sakura voiced smelling the carnations and freesia. "My parents are coming home soon and I figured I'd have something nice to welcome them back with."

"Oh," Ino rolled her eyes but Sakura's kindness touched her heart. "Whatever just get going."

When Sakura got out on the street a hawk flew and landed beside her chirping. "What," the female asked looking down at its talon. A small note was on it and Sakura glanced around, only junin were summoned like this not low ranking chunins. What was up? The bird chirped again and she hesitantly untied the message, though she hated to show it the bird intimidated her. She could just see its beak stabbing her hand.

Jumping she moved out of the way as the bird took off, the tiny scroll in her hand she read.

Sakura,

Come to my apartment, building six room 10 on the top floor tonight at eleven.

Kakashi Hatake

"What," Sakura voiced rereading it. Sensei wanted to speak with her now? But it was so late. She sighed remembering how he had treated her, maybe he felt bad. Well he should, acting like she didn't exist, didn't matter! But why now?

"Why ask," Sakura mumbled turning towards the building. "He's as wired as they come."

* * *

Kakashi had finished his battle with Gai hours ago and the sweat was long gone from the shower he'd taken. He wore only his under shirt and pants not to freak her out or give way to his intentions early on. The sake was still on his breath he was sure and the aspirin for his head ach was just beginning to work.

"What the hell am I doing?" he stared up at the ceiling sitting on the sofa in his living room. He'd been anxious and sitting down since the clock struck ten and now it was almost time.

"Damn them," he muttered thinking of the council. What the hell was he going to do?

"Um Kakashi-sensei," he heard her timid voice and knock jumping out of his skin. Jeez it was time already? He had to prepare himself to move, "I am an ninja of the leaf village before I am their sensei," he muttered to himself.

"Hey," she voiced looking down at what he was wearing with a funny expression. She'd never seen him without the head band or vest before. It was funny, he actually looked vulnerable and human. "You sent for me right?"

"Yes," Kakashi found himself unable to stop from staring at the small woman in front of him holding flowers. She seemed so beautifully innocent, something he wasn't and he was going to kill that part of her.

"So this is where you live," Sakura voiced nervous trying to break the silence by glancing around him. What was his deal?

Kakashi woke up from his stupor and stepped aside letting her in and closed the door. She didn't hear the click of the lock.

"What did you want to see me for," Sakura asked. "I'm kinda in a hurry sensei." She didn't want to be rude but it was a little crazy to be meeting at this time of night besides the flowers needed water.

"I wanted to talk to you," he heard himself speak before going to the kitchen. He had to make her understand that he was doing this for her own good, or at least that's what he'd been telling himself all day.

Pulling out a vase he poured water into and placed it on the counter, "You can put those here." She nodded and moved while Kakashi stared at her tiny delicate fingers. Oh god.

"What are your views on being a ninja Sakura," he barely coughed out her name. He motioned for her to sit on the sofa while he moved to the opposite chair. Sometimes there was an advantage of having an open room apartment.

"I don't know," Sakura frowned at the question. Was he testing her or something? Had he done the same with Sasuke and Naruto? "I guess a ninja should be strong, reliable, protect his village and watch over his comrades." She added the last bit as she remembered what he'd said during their first test under him to become genin. Surely he liked her answer.

"Yes," Kakashi nodded. "But what about your priorities, what should you be first above all? A protector to your village or your friends."

Sakura frowned. "I don't know," she muttered. The heat of his gaze was on here and it felt suffocating especially with the sharingan open. "Your village should be your first priority." There, she'd given the text book answer. Iruka would have been proud.

Kakashi nodded leaning down on his hands pressing against his knees. He watched her over silver locks sitting straight, hands in her lap, legs completely crossed. Virgin was written all over her.

"And what if protecting the village meant hurting your friend or team mate," Kakashi stared at her. "What if it meant wounding Naruto, taking away something he could never get back for his own good and the villages?" While she pondered Kakashi watched her quench her lips together in frustration. It was cute. Getting up quickly at his train of thought he grabbed the sake bottle and downed the last of it. Maybe it would give him enough courage to do what was needed.

He held it out to Sakura hoping she'd want some and give him an excuse to pull out some more. If she was tipsy than she couldn't really blame it on him could she?

But good old Sakura refused like the innocent angel she was. Damn. It was going to have to be the hard way.

"If it was for Naruto's own good than I guess I would wound him," she voiced hesitantly than her voice grew stronger. "I mean he's annoying but I don't dislike him so if I could save him some how even if it was by hurting him than I would do it."

"Even if he'd hate you afterwards?" Kakashi wanted to make this clear.

"Yes," Sakura added determined without any extra thought.

Kakashi nodded deep in thought. She'd understand, she had too. His vision was slightly blurred by the alcohol but he tossed it aside. Moving he motioned her to follow. "I have something for you."

He cursed as she watched him open the door to his bedroom and walk inside. Damn she was too trusting. Way to trusting. The light switch turned on but she seemed more interested in studying the aspects of his room than running.

Sakura looked into the room with a sort of awe. There was no way Sasuke and Naruto had gotten this close to Kakashi-sensei, the man was such a mystery to them that they'd have said something. The room walls were a dark green that didn't surprise her. It was clean with a bookself in one corner, a closet, and a wide king sized bed. "What a pretty bed sheet," she whispered mentally. It was a nice shade of light green that matched everything and she couldn't help but run a finger down the softness of it.

She turned as the door closed and looked at Kakashi with a half simile but a warning shiver ran up her spine. "What is he doing," she thought. "Kakashi-sensei?" she voiced hesitant. She didn't recognize the look in his eyes, they were darker somehow, primal, and his body hunched over slightly.

"I am so sorry," he voiced and the lock turned.

* * *

(Okay RATED M scene people-you can skip it!)

Sakura waited shocked. Sorry? For what. She stepped back hitting the bed with the back of her legs as he walked towards her. A hand went to his mask and he pulled it up and over his head revealing his face.

She gasped at his flawless face stunned. Kakashi was the most handsome man she'd ever seen. His lips were full and his nose wasn't two long for his face, there was absolutely nothing to hide! No big lips or anything. He'd never let them even get closet to figuring out what was under it and here he was taking off his mask?! In her state Kakashi inched forward and lightly pushed her down on the bed.

"What?!" Sakura gasped as she laid sprawled out in front of him, her legs dangling down. Kakashi grabbed her by her armpits and pulled her up so she rested with her head on the pillow and her body in the middle. "What's going on," she pushed her self up by her hands only to have him sit beside her and grab her by her shoulders pulling her up making her mouth hit his.

Sakura couldn't help but scream at the unwanted contact but Kakashi took it as an invitation to roam insider her mouth as he sucked in her bottom lip and allowed his tongue to slid through. He leaned completely forward ignoring her reluctant hands and immobile tongue pushing her down on the bed. When he let her go she stared up at him frightened with wide eyes.

"K..Kak..ak…aka..shi..hi," she couldn't even form his name as he kissed her again.

"This can't be happening," Sakura thought. " No…No…No.."

"NO!" She blurted out loud pushing him hard with her hands on his chest. He didn't budge but grabbed the offending arms by the wrist and pulled them above her head. Using one hand he held her captive as he stared down at her figure.

"No please," she was begging now as she turned from side to side trying to get lose. Moving to his dresser he pulled off the wire he'd placed there and wrapped it around her wrists. She was begging him and when she saw the wire she started to kick and buck. Growling slightly the junin threw his leg over her waste and forced himself onto her hips. He had to keep her still.

"Kakashi please," Sakura was crying now as she felt his weight on her.

"You should save your tears for later," Kakashi thought. "You'll need them all then." His heart was breaking but he pushed the emotions down. He had a job to do. He was a ninja. A tool. He finally tied her arms together and above her head to the head board. Moving away from her he pulled the shirt over his head and watched as she sobbed harder.

He loomed over her, his vision making her blur and he shook his head trying to clear it knowing that the smell of sake poured from his being and silently hoping she'd think he was drunk, even though he was still a good five glasses from it, but Sakura didn't know that. He let his right hand cup her cheek as she shook her head and allowed it to fall down to her neck and collar bone pushing away he shirt. Finally the other hand came up and he undid the buttons in the fabric pulling back.

She didn't make it easy twisting and turning in his grasp but he held her still. She closed her eyes as the cold hit her chest.

"Oh god," he muttered. She was still so young, not even fully developed yet, her chest small and humble stared back at him in its pink fleshy form. How could he do this? He reached over and pulled out a kunai from the dresser, his hands beginning to tremble.

Sakura couldn't understand why he was doing this but she knew what was about to happen. A foreign taste had been embedded in her mouth when his tongue had explored her there. Sake. That had to be it he was drunk, she had to get him to see what he was doing. She had to get him to stop.

"I can't fight him," her eyes squeezed shut tighter. He was too strong, if he really wanted this than she couldn't stop him. Her wrists burned from the friction created by trying to escape the tight bonds. "Oh no," she cried. A shiver went down her and the room seemed to freeze as she peaked up at him. A kunai was in his hand shaking as he stared down at her expressionless.

She couldn't breath as she watched the kunai inch closer, somehow she managed though, and she screamed.

Kakashi's large hand covered her mouth as he leaned down, his bare chest heating up the air around her own. She cried harder trying to tear away from the unforgiving hand and breath.

"Calm down Sakura," his voice tickled her ear as his cheek rested against hers. "The more you fight back the harder I'll have to be. If you don't want to get hurt, stop. Let me have control, you don't have to do a thing, I promise not to hurt you."

He sat back and stared down at the figure. She was terrible, snot began to trickle out her nose hitting his hand but he didn't move it. Her cheeks and eyes were red and her breathing erratic sending her chest up and down at an uneven pace. Unfortunately that only seemed to gain his attention as…well hot. His own body began to warm as he watched her, his body reacting to every movement of hers. Damn she was turning him on.

"I'm going to untie you and take away my hand," His voice was calm but changed into a demanding, ordering demeanor, the one he used on missions. He knew she would listen if he used that tone, she had for years. "Do not scream or move, stay where you are. You can't tell anyone about this," he leaned back down so he could whisper as his hand moved the kunai to the wire. She had to understand that this would ruin his reputation as a human being let a lone a ninja. If he had any chance of keeping the team together the boys had to remain oblivious.

There was only one way to ensure that. "Sasuke and Naruto are strong," he whispered. "but I'm stronger. If you tell anyone the same thing will happen to them. You don't want that do you?"

She shook her head gasping as her eyes grew big. He wouldn't, couldn't do that to Sasuke and Naruto. Even she had to give herself to him…Sakura shuttered again and cried harder, "than so be it," she thought.

"Good." The wire cut and he removed his hand letting her breath better which she did coughing. She curled on her side but his hand rested on her waste so she stopped and just turned her head not being able to look at him. She left her hands above her head not knowing what else to do. What else could she do?

His hand moved up to her shoulder and he pulled her shirt off.

"This isn't happening," Sakura closed her eyes hard. "This isn't happening. I'm not here, I'm not here." She repeated the chant as she felt his breath on her stomach moving up between her and stopping on her throat.

Kakashi had already decided to do as much as he could to make it enjoyable for her. This was her first time and though she would have nightmares for years, it would be less traumatizing if he could make her like it.

"Wh-" Sakura gasped again as his mouth wrapped around her throat sucking lightly near the collar bone. He wanted to make sure that if he left any marks she could easily cover them. Her hands came to his chest pushing up but he grabbed her wrists and made her hands run up and down his well worked out chest.

When he pulled away he saw her biting her lip trying to distinguish between hate and pleasure. Her lips were pink and her eyes closed peacefully as if she was his willing partner. Of course no had touched her there before so how was she suppose to feel.

"She won't like this," Kakashi growled. She heard it and looked up shocked again tensing as he loomed over her, his hand slipping behind her to her bra strap. With a well known twist it opened and so did her struggles.

"Please no oh no no no no no," she tried to push by him so he settled on top of her careful not to bruise her hips as he moved down using his legs to clasp against hers.

"Kakashi!" He froze, his hands on her bra straps when she yelled out his name. Looking down at her he saw her form trembling from both his heat, the cold, and…situation. She sounded so much like a vulnerable child.

He groaned inwardly in hate towards himself but continued. She had to just leave him be. The bra off he decided to start with her upper body before going any further. Being a virgin though he had to be careful she didn't come to fast.

Sakura gasped as he worked on her, his mouth to one side his hand on the other. Oh god it was…good. She moaned lightly and the hands that had been pounding his back started to move through his hair. She didn't understand what she was doing or how he was doing it too her but she suddenly didn't want him to stop.

"K..ka..Kakashi," this time his name was pleading to stop but in awe and asking to continue. He paused to look at her and she stared down at his half lit eyes full of an untold emotion her body wiggled at the unaccustomed air. He took the invitation and kissed her mouth lightly squeezing her in his hand. She moaned loudly unable to stop it and turned her head so he could get closer to her.

"This isn't right," her voice screamed and fought. But her body was winning the fight between pleasure and logic. Her legs already felt wet and clammy and actually pushed against his calves trying to separate. As if he knew their want he readjusted his own lying flat across her small body resting between them.

"Ahh," she breathed when he let go light headed and needing air. She struggled as he laid flat against her and she felt his heat right on her own. She couldn't stop the groan…and neither could he.

"This…" she couldn't form words. "Isn't rig…right."

Kakashi nodded agreeing with her but couldn't stop. He couldn't even if he wanted to now.

His hand left her and fell to the dresser as he fumbled with a sweet scented oil. So she couldn't see he kissed her again on the mouth and this time she kissed back and he let her. His body shuddered as her arms came around his neck pulling him closer and her inexperienced tongue lashed out over the roof of his mouth. He trembled harder and kissed her just as vicious back as three of his fingers became coated with the oil.

He shifted but continued to kiss her as his right hand went down to her pants. He made sure to use his left to touch her again as his hand snaked down her pants between her.

Sakura screamed in the kiss in absolute protest as something entered her. Her pure bliss was shattered and the tears came again, she tried to pull back from the kiss but he wouldn't let her. She tried to close her legs but his knee wouldn't allow it. She felt the fingers play in an out tearing her and she cried.

Kakashi knew that he had no chance of things ever being normal between them again as her once stroking hands began pounding at his back and scratching him. Finally his fingers brushed against her and she stopped.

Sakura didn't know what had happened but pure torture wasn't that terrible as she felt flashes in her eyes. Her body opened wider and she felt him put in another finger and his mouth leave hers but she didn't care, it was…bliss. Spit ran down her open as she moaned barely aware that Kakashi was watching her intently for any sign of pain. There was none.

Kakashi pulled out his fingers and moved off the bed barely hearing her cry of protest, her black shorts and underwear coming with him. He was hot and needed relief soon. He stared at her as his zipper fell down and watched as the noise startled her out of whatever planet women went to when this was happening. Her eyes grew in fear and her legs clamped shut again as his pants fell down followed by his boxers.

Sakura couldn't turn away from him. "He's so big, this is going to hurt." She stopped her thoughts, "Hold on this isn't going to happen. NO WAY IN HELL!" She moved but her body was slow and he caught her throwing her on the bed ignoring her cry of protest as he settled back between her. He held her wrists so her hands were on either side of her head.

"Kakashi," she felt him move in position. "Kakashi please, don't!"

"I'm sorry," he voiced. He couldn't look at her his hair was in his face. Before he moved again he kissed her forehead apologetically and she stared at him wide eyes as he repeated what he said again. Her green eyes stared into his black and he couldn't help the tears that came down his face. He hadn't cried in ten years.

Sakura didn't know what to do when she felt the splashes of tears hit her face and the salt water run down her throat. She felt compelled to kiss his pain away but…

Kakashi sighed it would hurt either way. No more torturing her. He closed his eyes clearing them and stared down at her with the sharingan. He was going to hypnotize her and decrease the pain as much as possible. He couldn't delete the pain but she wouldn't scream.

"Sakura look at me."

She did hearing his commanding voice, the trust burning in her eyes weak but still there. With the first thrust it was gone.

Sakura cried but she couldn't look away as she felt his movement above her. Her mouth opened and her body screamed as she felt hot thick liquid pour down her legs, blood.

Kakashi used her virgin blood to further coat himself trying to be as easy as possible with her but wanting to make it fast. She came before him moaning and he came later.

He pulled out letting her go and stood away sure that was what she wanted. Sakura shivered from the cold but made no move to cover herself. Why? She was broken.

End of the scene.

* * *

"Sakura," Kakashi touched her cheek slightly and she flinched looking down at his necked form. She was scared if he would do it again. Kakashi moved over understanding and put on his black boxers and mask. She seemed relieved but still tensed.

She was a mess, blood and semen was between her legs and the sheets were terrible. She needed to be cleaned.

"Sakura lets go get you cleaned up."

She didn't look at him but stared at the ceiling breathing hard, gulping at the air. "Sakura," still nothing. Kakashi moved beside her and touched her lightly. He would have welcomed anything, tears, flinching, or even a fist across his face. He deserved it all. But his heart sank as she did nothing. It was in that moment Kakashi knew he had done something horrible. He'd broken her, death would have been more favorable.

He swallowed a sob but picked her up bridal style. Moving to the door across his room he opened it and it revealed a bathroom. The bath was actually a very large stand up shower, something she couldn't do. He laid her down carefully and turned the shower on careful to have her head away from the water so she wouldn't try to drown herself. The water washed between her legs, warm but not hot. She didn't even flinch.

The man turned unable to look at the pathetic site and he walked back into the adjoining bedroom leaving the door open.

"Damn it." He sat on the bed, the smell of sex still heavy in the air. He grabbed the sheet angrily needing something to do and replaced it with clean clothes. He'd give anything to be able to kill a hundred men right now. Anything.

He glanced up at his pictures and saw his sensei staring back at him. "Oh god no," he muttered. Obito and Rin stared at him too and so did Sasuke and Naruto. What caught his eye though was Sakura and how happy and innocent the girl looked. "What the hell have I done?!" he asked falling to his knees.

To hell with being a ninja.

To hell with clearing up the Hatake name.

To hell with his record.

To hell with Tsunada.

To hell with the council.

"To hell with the village," he muttered through his tears. Anything would have been more welcomed than what he had just done. A thousand years being tortured endlessly by Kisame, Orachimaru, Kabuto, Itachi, Zabuza, the fox, anything.

The sound of water hit his hears and he knew he couldn't change what he had done but he owed it to her to watch over her tonight. No matter how much he didn't want to.

Getting up he felt dizzy and had to grab his head, maybe he'd drunk more than he thought. Going in the bathroom he pulled her out and dried her. She was like a doll unmoving or caring. She stared at the wall the entire time and didn't bother with anything. He left her there and went into his room to get her a large shirt to sleep in and when he came back she'd fallen asleep. Her hair playing across her features made it a beautiful sight and he caught his breath.

"I swear Sakura," he voiced. "I won't ask your forgiveness or understanding. I'll do what you ask and leave you be if that's your wish, you never have to see me again. But I will make sure no one hurts you ever again. I swear." Saying those words made a small amount of peace swarm in his soul. He'd hurt her, but he'd be the last to do it. No matter what he would do what needed to be done. The thoughts swelled in his head and the vow became permanent as she was dressed in his shirt and in the warm clean bed.

Kakashi sighed turning to go to the couch. It would do no good for him to be here when she woke.

His body though had other plans.

He began to shake and immediately he knew he'd used the sharingan too much that day. The last thing he saw before falling onto the bed unconscious was her light pink hair.

* * *

Okay how'd you like the chapter? Hope it was good enough! God am I evil or what?

Honestly I'm a virgin so the scene may have been...off...so reviews would definately be appreciated.

Anyway a suprise is coming up in the later chapters...if Sakura can survive

Send me a review:)


	2. Tears of Silver

Next chapter.

This isn't really bad, maybe a T-rating because it mentions rape but that's all. Nothing bad in it.

There may be in later chapters though ;)

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, never have and never will.

**

* * *

Tears of Silver, A Heart Full of Pain**

Sakura sighed slightly as her body forced her into the living. She struggled against her opening eye lids, she didn't want to be awake yet, the bed was too comfortable. Warm and comfortable. Her nose opened as she took a deep breath and a foreign smell hit her nose.

Something smelled off, she didn't know how to explain it but this just didn't smell like her.

"If I have a smell," inner Sakura muttered. "What the heck is the dea-"

Last night hit her like a ton of bricks and the pink female jerked up in the bed causing her head to spin. It had to be a dream, a nightmare something like that wouldn't have happened. Kakashi wouldn't do that.

Her breath caught in her throat as she stared at the unknown walls and room. "No, no no no no," she repeated over and over gripping the blanket tightly in her fists. She moved her legs and felt a sharp pain of discomfort. She didn't know if it had been what had happened last night or just her imagination.

"What had happened last night," saying the words out loud made them true. She'd admitted it.

She heard a slight rumble beside her and jumped out of bed ignoring the "discomfort" between her legs. On the opposite side of the bed face first slept a shirtless Kakashi Hatake, her sensei. Fear rose in her with a large blush on her cheeks as she backed away. She looked down at herself and noticed his shirt. She was wearing his shirt, and just the shirt.

It was true. It had happened. She couldn't deny it.

Sakura didn't know what to think when her back hit the wall and she leaned against it for support. For some reason she was calm, not what she thought she should have been. "I should be crying," she muttered. "What the heck is wrong with me?"

Thoughts of last night finally came through the mist of her mind. She felt him all over again, touching her, breathing on her, kissing her, and-Sakura shook her head getting rid of the offending thoughts.

Kakashi groaned again and fear like she had never known jumped in her spine climbing its way up to her neck. Suddenly she felt exposed, raw, and most of all dirty. She hugged herself and glanced around the panic didn't subside it increased.

"I have to get out of here," Inner Sakura cried. "Now, now, now," her inner self gripped her hair almost pulling it out at the roots.

Sakura felt scared stiff but the urgency in her mind made her move slowly, quietly, so he wouldn't wake up. If she hadn't been so freaked out she'd had noticed that she had switched places with inner Sakura. Her inner, the strong much like Ino was crying, and her outer shell was calm. Calmer than it should have been.

Her hands slightly shaking she found her clothes. She didn't dare open the door, even if he was asleep Kakashi was still a jonin with the hearing abilities she couldn't hope to fathom. Going through the open door bathroom she used the adjoining room to change.

"Why," she thought. "He's already seen me naked so whats the point in hiding to change?"

"Because what if he sees you and decides to do it again?" Inner Sakura yelled. Sakura stopped and yanked up her panties as fast as she could. The thought of what had happened last night happening again scared her more than Gaara in his beast form ever could.

She got dressed and walked slowly back into the bedroom thanking anyone who was listening that he had stayed asleep. If she was lucky he'd sleep forever.

She walked over to the door steadying herself. She was going to open it as silently as possible but if he moved on inch she was gone. Sakura looked behind her already gathering chakra to her feet. She couldn't outrun him if he decided to case her, but she'd give him a hell of a race to catch her. Besides with chakra and surprise on her side she was bound to find someone before he could do anything.

The door opened and squeaked. Kakashi didn't move.

She walked to the front door careful not to hit anything but kept an eye on him the whole time. Her heart beat hard in her chest and she was sure it was going to fail her at any moment. She hit the front door and opened. No footsteps, no yelling, no chakra being built in the other room. Maybe someone was looking after her.

Kakashi's eyes opened as soon as the door closed. He knew Sakura had woken up but had stayed still pretending to sleep so she didn't freak out. She needed time to gather herself yes, he stood, but he was going to be her shadow wither she liked or not. He threw on his shirt, jacket, and slid on his sandals.

* * *

He stared out the window and saw the Hokaga faces in the mountain. "Please let her be strong enough," his eyes rested on Yondaime, the only man he ever trusted. Jumping out the window he moved down the street following her trial.

Everyone seemed to be out on the streets and judging by the sun it was already late in the morning. Sakura was suffocating. Every man, woman, and child that glanced her way she could see it in their eyes. They knew. They knew exactly what he had done. What she had let him do.

Hugging herself and power walking she turned the corner and walked right into her peers. Gai's team along with Asumas.

"Jeez Sakura watch where your going."

Ino's voice rang in her ears but didn't register. This morning was surreal. Nothing made any sense.

"What the heck happened to your hair and clothes forehead," Ino pointed at her wrinkled attire and bed ridden hair.

A hand went up in alarm to her hair and Sakura stuttered. "I…I…I…um…broke my comb this morning!" The lie came out forceful and louder than she had intended.

"What?" Ino voiced. Did she hear right? A look of disbelief and a raised eyebrow made Sakura's blood pressure rise. Ino couldn't know? Could she?

"Come on Ino, we've got practice," Asuma voiced. "You and Shikamaru need to go through the new formation." He walked by, "Tell Kakashi to meet me at area 44 this afternoon would you Sakura?"

Sakura flinched back violently and fell backwards tripping over a dis guarded bottle.

"Sakura!" Lee was by her side in a second pulling her up.

"I'm fine," the feel of his hand on her arm made her stomach flop. She yanked her hands out of his fast, "Thank you Lee."

"That is just like the Sakura I know never letting anything keep her down," Lee flashed a smile and a wink in her direction.

Sakura knew what that wink meant and she wanted to vomit everything that had entered her stomach yesterday.

"The power of youth is full today!" Gai spoke. He laughed, "Why even the sun is smiling. Sakura as Kakashi's favorite student I need you to give him something."

"Fa…Favo…Favorite Student?" Sakura stuttered again. Her fists clenched and shook. Her breath became shallow and uneven "Is that why he…" she let her voice drop.

"He what?" Asuma asked his voice coming full of concern. He didn't like the way Sakura was acting, especially when it came to Kakashi.

"Tell anyone of this and I'll do the same to Naruto and Sasuke," his voice rang in her ears.

"He let me get away with not having to go to practice this afternoon!" She lied. The junin looked at her, the response was too fast and her pulse was racing. Why would she lie about something like that?

It was none of his business. Of course he did plan to talk to a silver haired peer about it later because that wasn't normal in any student.

Sakura could feel every inch of dirt on her body. She felt so dirty, worthless, like trash that had been disreguarded and all she wanted was to run. Run as fast as she could to get away from them. But society rules kept her in place.

"Well alright Forehead we'll see you later!" Ino chided running off with her team. The blonde looked back slightly as Sakura didn't reply with the typical Ino-pig remark. Something was wrong, she knew it, but she shrugged it off. Sakura could handle Sakura.

"We should go too," Lee looked at his sensei. "We have three hundred laps to catch up on!"

Gai looked at him and agreed walking off. Ten-Ten and Neji followed. They had been so engrossed in each other's conversation that they hadn't even looked at Sakura. And the girl was thankful.

Unable to keep herself under control she ran. Her lungs felt hot as she ran harder and harder, her eyes watering. She had to get away from here, anywhere but here. Home entered her mind. Her room, her bed, her shelter, her safe place. But she was torn. She wasn't the same person anymore so why should her home bring the same comfort?

She ran harder and into the side alleyways. The slums of the town.

* * *

Kakashi kept up with the female from the roof growing worried. She wasn't taking this very well but he couldn't blame her. The male had thought she would run home but instead she'd taken the wrong road and ran further and further down into the bad side of the village. Any further and she'd reach the dead Uchila compound.

"Damn it turn around," he hissed. Didn't she know that the people here would take everything from her? She wasn't safe. He sighed. He really didn't want to make an appearance sure that if he just popped up in front of her that she would freak out and might lose herself deeper into the dark pit.

A dark pit he knew all to well.

But if she kept going she'd leave him no choice.

As he leaned down ready to jump in front of her a blonde caught his attention as well as a certain raven haired boy. Naruto and Sasuke.

* * *

"Aw come on are you chicken or something?" Naruto looked at the other male. "I could take you on blindfolded."

"Dream on loser," Sasuke spoke as the cut around the corner. A pink blob came at them and the Uchila's reflexes kicked in and he swerved to the side.

Naruto however took it full impact sending him to the ground with the pink thing on top of him.

"What the heck!" the blonde yelled out loud looking down at a clinging thing. He immediately was meet with greenish blue eyes that stared up at him from his chest. "Sakura?!"

"Na…Na…Naruto," she whispered. The face finally became clear in her head. "Naruto," she wailed this time. The force of what had happened finally catching up with her. She whished she could have run forever, but that didn't happen.

She grabbed on to the boy's shirt tightly and hid herself in the fabric. She let herself cry hard and uncaring that she was sprawled out on top of him. His smell was something familiar. Safe. She let it engulf her as if she let go she would die.

"Sakura?" Naruto questioned looking down at her. He frowned. What had happened? He glanced up at Sasuke who looked about as clueless as he was for once. The boy stood off to the side wide-eyed staring at the scene. Sure he'd seen Sakura cry, but never like this.

"Um…Sakura," Naruto stuttered. He put a hand behind her back and watched as she flinched slightly. So he backed off and just laid there narrowing his eyes. It hurt him watching her like this, the girl who always brought smiles and motherly love into his life. Any other time he would have been overjoyed at his crush holding him like this but…

"She's asleep," Sasuke announced kneeling beside them.

"What happened to her?" Naruto asked.

"Don't know," Sasuke looked at him. "Someone must have hurt her or something."

"I don't see any wounds," Naruto moved up slowly so the girl fell to his chest. "Do you?"

"No," Sasuke frowned.

"What do we do?"

"Let's take her home," he picked up the girl and held her like a bride. "Do you know…where she lives?" he felt a little uncomfortable having to ask where his team mate of two years lived.

"Yeah," Naruto looked at him. He was slightly jealous of the fact that he got to hold Sakura but the sight of her asleep stopped him from protesting. She looked so much more peaceful than she had moments ago. "Follow me."

* * *

Kakashi watched the boys walk away and felt grateful for them. Sakura would make it, he realized. She would come through, she had too, with friends like that. His gut turned as he remembered what he had done. Flashbacks of that night flew into his head and he pushed them away.

Anger swelled in him. He'd done what he was told. A good little puppet. Puppet his ass. It was time, he decided, to see a certain Hokaga and elders. He'd be damned if anyone got in his way.

"We have enough to support our cause," the female elder looked at Tsunada. "Math proves it."

"You can't be serious," the Hokaga sighed back. "This is not going to make the problem go away."

"It is the price to pay for being a female ninja," an old man voiced sitting in the back. The way he said it made her skin crawl. Like it was just another part of the job that second class females should have to deal with. It was as if he got a kick out of it or thought it funny.

"Taking away the virginity of young women is going to help the situation. You know as well as I do sometimes we get missions were the virginity of boys have to be lost to other men. What's next, raping them?" She was almost yelling now.

At the thought of raping boys the man's face became a large frown in disgust. Tsuanada wanted to strangle him. So it was okay to rape girls and not boys? Double standards…

"Hey! You can't go in there!" Loud noises appeared behind the rooms doors before it burst open and a very angry silver haired junin walked into the room.

"Kakahsi, you can't…"

"Genma," the man turned to the other ninja who had been watching the door. He pulled out a kunai and stared at him in the eye. "Go wait outside."

The male looked at Tsuanada who nodded before going out and closing the door behind him. Fine, just let whoever wanted walk in.

"Who is this?" the male stood up pointing at the intruder in outrage. He, another male, the female elder and the Hokaga was the only ones who were supposed to be here.

The young man looked at him hard. "Hatake Kakashi, junin of the leaf village, ex-ANBU black op leader." He added that little bit of information at the end to tell the man that he had no clue of who he was messing with.

"What are you doing here," as Kakashi expected the man faltered and left him be. Sometimes it paid to be a genius.

"I let myself in to discuss a certain matter with you and the Hokaga." One look at the Sanin told him that not all was going well and that he better watch his grounds.

"What matter?" the man seemed more willing to cooperate.

"The new addition to the female chunin exams."

The man sighed looking exhausted. "Our orders aren't going to be removed." He looked at the junin with a new found spirit in his eyes.

It occurred to Kakashi that this man was used to power and flaunting it. He doubted that anyone would be standing up to him on a regular basis. So he was going to have to show a little more power.

Clenching his fist he looked at the old male. "What's your name Sempai?"

The man growled at how impolite he was being and Kakashi could see Tsuanada drilling a worried look in his head. Good let her squirm. After all this was half of her fault.

"Akito," the man growled back. Kakashi narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"Akito-san I'm going to have to ask you to rethink your new law."

"You're a junin," the woman looked at him. "You have absolutely no right to ask us that."

Kakashi sneered at her from behind the mask. He felt his body begin to shake and forced himself to stay calm. Loosing control was good but if he loosed it all they would all be dead. The only one who might survive was Tsunada. How could a woman agree to this?

"Your right," he spat. "I'm a tool only to be used in killing and war. A machine. And when I'm home I supposed to be turning others into new weapons, sharpening them for your liking."

They seemed taken back by this and Kakashi felt himself feel a little better despite the situation. He admitted that he'd been waiting a long time for this.

"Your right you are a tool," the other man spoke up. "You should do as your told."

"Wrong," Kakashi looked at him. "I'm not just a tool, I'm a soldier, a human being who cares about my village enough to lie his life on the line." He felt himself get heavy with emotion.

"This isn't about me though," he looked at them. "This is about the future of our village, the future of our female fighters and I'm telling you your wrong."

"What do you know?" the woman looked at him. "You're a smart mouth junin who apparently has no respect for those in charge." She looked at Tsuanada. "I'm surprised that you are still in uniform."

Before Tsuanda could defend herself Kakashi rammed his fist into the wall. "Your right," he almost laughed. "I am a smart mouthed junin. I passed my entrance exam at age five, graduated the academy at age six, led ninja twice my age during the war, became junin at fourteen and ANBU leader at sixteen. I believe I have a right to be heard because I stayed home and did my homework before going out into the field."

He stared at them. "I get a right because when it comes to genius' in this village I'm the smartest one, I've broken more records than anyone else, I've had the second to the highest scores, I've only lost twelve people in my entire career on missions, and I'm a sensei of a female who qualifies for your little test."

The people in the room stared at him in shock as he shook back and forth in rage. "Do you know what I did last night?! Do you have any idea of what I put a little girl through?"

"What are you talking about?" Akito asked trying to get back in control.

Kakashi wouldn't let him. "I raped my student last night because you said that to obtain her dream she had to lose her virginity."

The others stared at him. A wild look was in his eye.

"You make me sick."

He stood up staring at them. "She was forced to cry and beg me to stop while I was a good little ninja and did my job. Now she's at home crying and trying to make sense of why it was done. DAMN IT!"

Kakashi felt hot tears reach his face. He had just admitted what he had done. And admitting it made it real.

"How the hell do you expect me to show up at our practice session tomorrow and train her? How do you expect her to fight for the village who betrayed her?"

The woman looked down slightly and closed her eyes. Kakashi knew he was finally breaking her shell. She would oppose it now, but what about the other two?

"I just finished watching the brightest, strongest girl in her class cry and hold on to her male team mate like he was a life line. And when he dared touch her back she flinched."

He looked at them. "I've killed any chance of her fully trusting another male again. It'll be a miracle if she can work with her team mates on any mission again."

The other male nodded processing the information. Good he'd given him doubt. He glanced at Akito. The man didn't want to back down.

"The statistics…"

"STATISTICS!" Kakashi almost blew. "Is that all you got? Do you realize that those numbers are so fricking fickle?!" Akito frowned staring at him hard.

"But those who aren't raped in the field of work…"

"But raping them as part of a test is the same damn thing as them loosing it in the field. Either way it's for the village! I'm telling you that it'll hurt them either way!"

"How do you know…"

"Because I was raped in the field!"

That got their attention. Kakashi nearly fell back at what he had told them, but there was no going back now.

"Explain." Akito looked at him.

"I was seven and the mission was to infiltrate this man's home. My job was to be the boy he had hired to give him pleasure, a sex toy," he closed his eyes. "But nothing was suppose to happen. My back up was suppose to come before night fall had fallen, I was guaranteed to come out without having to do anything."

He paused. Thoughts of that night ran through his head. "But the village decided that it would be better to come later. They knew what would happened but assumed I would do it for the village. I was a ninja it was my job. What became later turned into two weeks that I was at his mercy."

The silence in the room was unbearable and Kakashi forced himself to look at Akito. The man had to understand. "If it wasn't for Yodaime, then I would have killed myself. I'd been raped before by my uncle but this was different. The village had betrayed me and all I wanted to was to die. You have to understand, if it comes unexpected than it's got to be better than knowing that they, the ones you protect and the ones that are suppose to look after your interest let it happen."

Akito sat down slowly his eyes hard. "It's not your decision to make."

"Let me put it to you this way," Kakahsi walked up to him and pulled out a kunai loving how the man pulled back in fright. "If Sakura dies because of this I'm killing you and becoming a missing nin and this village will be my target. And right now you can't afford to loose me."

He threw the kunai into the desk.

"We shall rethink it" the woman looked at him. "You have given us a new side to review this," she smiled thankful. "And your compassion for your comrades show that you are a true ninja."

Kakashi looked at her and knew immediately that he had found an alley. She would fight the other men on the issue til death.

"Leave us," the other male voiced.

Kakashi bowed and walked out the door Tsuanada behind him.

"Well you got emotional," she looked at him. "You got a lot of guts."

"Hn," the old wounds fell from him. "I want you to get them a new sensei."

"What?" the sanin looked at him as they stepped into her office.

"I can't teach them anymore, not after what I did."

"Kakashi," her eyes softened with understanding. "That's impossible. You have to teach Sasuke how to use the sharingan."

"Fine. But Naruto can go with Jirya and Sakura can start her training with you," he looked at her. "It'll help if she doesn't see me."

"Will it?" the woman didn't look convinced.

"Trust me." The male moved to scrolls that would be missions. "Any S-rank?"

The woman narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

"I need to do something."

"Oh no your not," she glared. "You are in no state to go on some suicide mission."

Kakashi grinned at the word. Suicide. If only he wasn't such a coward to do it himself. "I need to do something."

The woman sighed. "We'll see after they get done debating."

Kakashi nodded and sat down closing his eyes. Tsuanda watched him finally convinced he was asleep before beginning her paper work. What he had said in there…it weighed heavily on her heart.

Four Hours Later

"Lady Tsuanada," Shizune voiced from behind the door.

Tsuanda lifted her head and wiped away the drool quickly. When had she fallen asleep? "Yes Shizune?"

The woman came in and cast a weary glance at the sleeping male.

"The elders have come to their decision."

The Hokaga got out of her chair and quickly took the scroll from her hand reading it. The law had been overturned.

Kakashi appeared beside her and she almost gave a start to how fast and silent he had been. Had he always been that good?

"Good," he voiced reading it. "About my mission…"

* * *

OKAY- I hoped you liked the chapter.

Sorry it took a while to update.

Anyway I do realize that Sakura isn't as angst as she should be. But trust me next chapter she will plunge into darkness with vivid enough description.

I've rethought this too and decided that it is a Sakura/Kakashi fic but there will be way more twists than originally thought. And it will get a little darker than first thought. This isn't going to be your average fic.

I've got another Sakura based fic idea too. That one might come up with in the next few days as well as a Naruto one. So look out!

Now that you've read don't forget to review, because if it isn't any good I'll just get rid of it.


	3. The Mission Comes First

Thanks for the reviews! This is really late in coming but it is my first shot at this kinda thing so bear with me. I've got two other stories up too so please check them out.

Summary: Same as chap. 1

Chapter Rating: T for suggestions of self mutilation

Disclaimer: I write to entertain so Naruto is in no way mine.

* * *

**Ninja Rule #1: The Mission Comes First**

Sakura woke up sighing slightly as the sun came through her window. She paused as thoughts of what had happened rolled in her head like a never ending movie. She glanced around happy to wake up in her own bed as she held the covers close. A feeling of odd numbness wouldn't pass. It was just as it had been in his house, she felt nothing at all.

Where were the tears?

What happened to the screams?

She moved to look at herself in the mirror and what she saw sent a cold shiver throughout her entire body. The woman staring back at her had nothing. Any emotion that should have been there, in her eyes, in her heart was gone. It scared her more then anything.

Why was she still moving?

"What the hell is wrong with me?" Sakura whispered lowly as she touched herself on the mirror surface. This other unworldly version of her self had no answers. It reveled nothing. She glanced down at her clothes and hair. Her white teeth grinned together as a whimper finally came out of her mouth.

"Sakura? Are you up?"

Naruto's voice flooded into her room and the girl jumped feeling her heart skip a beat. "Sasuke, Sakura's up now!"

She stopped and pulled her hand to her heart. They were here. "Sasuke," the word barely left her mouth when a feeling finally pushed its way into her soul. Fear.

"Does he know?" she whispered with wide eyes. Did Sasuke know what had happened?

She saw the knob turn slightly and shrank against her wall in fear. They knew. What was going to happen? Hate her. They would think she was disgusting, not worth their time. She couldn't stand it if that happened. The door pushed in a little.

A loud "thunk" barely registered in her ears. "Ow Sasuke what the hell was that for?" As Naruto's voice filled the void the door stopped. He'd obviously stopped trying to open the door.

The breath she had been holding came out in a quiver.

"Dobe, you can't just walk into someone's room," Sasuke's rough voice made her heart beat faster.

"Oh yeah," Naruto's voice was full of contempt for what the male had to say but he turned to the door anyway. "Can we come in Sakura? Are you alright?"

"They don't know," her voice was a whisper and unfamiliar to her own ears. She couldn't explain it but somehow the numbness took over her entire body. It was as if she had become a puppet on a string as she moved towards the door.

"Yeah Naruto," the new voice that came from her mouth spoke. "I'm fine." She smiled at the two boys as the door swung completely open. The smile she wore forced her to squint her eyes but she could still see them looking at her with worry.

"Sorry about fainting back there," she laughed a little. "I guess I was just a little tired. Running you know." The lie came out easy but she knew it sounded false. They looked at her but before they could state anything she heard herself come up with a cover.

"Ino said something back there and I just sorta lost it," she sighed. "Sorry Naruto."

She watched as Naruto's hand went behind his head and he blushed looking down. "Well uh actually, I kinda sorta didn't mind." Sakura looked at him and blinked as the image of her on lying on top of him came to her. She forced herself to growl lowly and angry. She didn't feel like doing it but she knew it was what they would expect.

Once again her body moved on it's own accord and she punched him. "Never again Naruto! I was just upset! It would have been better if you had been Sasuke!"

Sasuke huffed and looked away with a scowl. She knew she'd upset him again. Odd, she didn't care. "Come on Sakura lets go!" Naruto turned. "You've got to be hungry so we bought over some ramen!" The excited blonde blew away Sakura's reprieve and moved towards the kitchen.

Sakura blinked back slightly and held her elbows tightly in her hands. Her arms close to her body, "What time is it Naruto?"

"Two in the afternoon."

Hours. She'd slept hours more.

"Oh," She glanced down with a slight dismay. "I guess I am hungry," she tried a grin. They couldn't know something was wrong. She couldn't let that happen.

"_Tell anyone and I'll do the same to Naruto and Sasuke."_

His words caused her to physically close her eyes and hug herself tighter. Water poured from the depths of her inner soul to the teal iris' behind the protective cover. She didn't understand where they came from. How do you get tears from nothing?

"Are you alright Sakura?" Naruto was close, almost in her face, and she had to stop herself from jerking back violently. He had a scent. She realized that now. He smelled like a male.

"I'm fine Naruto. Lets go to the kitchen."

His stomach growled.

"You pig," Sasuke mumbled glancing at the blonde. "What?!" Naruto turned to him in anger and resentment. The two started to bicker but to Sakura's relief they went down the stairway ignoring the fact that she wasn't following. The girl sighed and looked at herself in the mirror from the door.

Her other self stared back.

Her eyes widened as she realized it was her. In the mirror was the true Sakura trapped as this emotionless puppet master continued to lay with her body. Without realizing what she was doing she closed the door and moved to join her team mates.

"We got you chicken ramen," Naruto exclaimed immediately noticing his crush enter the room. Sakura flinched back as he moved the bowl to her quickly. With a slightly shaking hand she took the bowl from him with a smile and small word of thanks.

This wasn't going to work.

In the kitchen, this familiar place of refuge she suddenly became overwhelmed with emotion. Every move they made claimed them as the opposite sex and no matter what she did a fear grew inside her stomach.

All of a sudden eating with them was scary.

Watching their hands move in fluent motion of eating was terrifying.

"I can't do this," that voice screamed in her head. "I can't handle this!" Her hand took the chop sticks smoothly as she ate. Reaching for her glass her hand touched Naruto's. She pulled back and he blushed. "You have to get out of here!" the voice screamed.

Sakura shook her eyes at Naruto before finishing her meal and listening to them both create small talk. She was thankful that they didn't notice she'd barely took part in the conversation at all. They were in their own little world.

Sakura pushed the two males out of her house as fast as she could as her body began to tense and she felt unwavering energy and want to do something. She began to feel crazy as her hands clenched and unclenched without her noticing and her legs pulled her to the point that she was pacing up and down the floor. Her eyes began to dart back and forth.

Passing a mirror in the hallway she noticed how she looked. Like a wild animal.

Falling to her knees she felt the sobs before the tears came to her eyes and she found herself crying on the floor without a thought. She couldn't understand and couldn't put into words what she was doing as her body took control.

She lost all sense of thought.

What seemed like hours was only fifteen minutes.

Sakura pushed herself up and walked into the kitchen as she began to busy herself cleaning up. Her body was heavy and numb. She forced herself to clean up the table and do the dishes.

When she finished she still didn't feel any change. She was still numb and cold. A shiver ran up her spine as she moved to go to her bedroom. She didn't know what she was going to do but she wanted to curl up somewhere and hide away from the world. Away from what had happened. Away from life itself.

In her private sanctuary she let her body drift to her bed and she sat down feeling hopeless. Her eyes rolled over to her dresser near the bed and she saw the picture of her team.

Naruto and Sasuke weren't happy and she was in the middle of the group. They'd just passed the day before and it had been a big relief. They almost didn't pass the test.

Her back stiffened and the small smile that had adorned her lips faded as she saw the man behind her. Like a shadow he was directly behind her and smiling at the camera. She could feel his breath on her neck and she jerked around to stare and the empty wall behind her. She searched the sky line wildly looking for his figure. His form.

Her breath was quick and her hands gripped the bed sheets in a frozen fist. There wasn't anything there. She'd become a victim of her own paranoia.

"_You always were the smart one_,_" _she heard the whisper of his voice enter her ear and she screamed. Falling out of bed Sakura landed on her but before backing away to the dresser.

"Calm down Sakura," she spoke aloud to herself and immediately noticed that the tremors her body had picked up began to slow down. She glanced up and saw the edge of the picture frame. That damn picture.

She stood up angry and frustrated as she stared down at the picture. Kakashi behind her, Naruto and Sasuke to either side. She was in the middle of a man made prison.

"Damn you," she grabbed a hold of the frame as tears blurred her vision and she clenched her fist on the frame. "Damn you." She wasn't sure if she was cursing at Kakashi or the other two boys.

She threw the picture and felt satisfaction as it shattered against the wall before the pieces tumbled down and fell behind the dresser. Three small glass cuts laid on the dresser and she looked at them.

She felt oddly calm and in control as she brushed her fingers around the edge of one and than the other. She tossed two of them behind the dresser with the back of her hand before picking up the largest and holding it between her fingers.

It was sharp and she watched as her finger traced its outline. Moving she closed the door as she held it towards the flesh of her left wrist.

* * *

Kakashi walked back into the village as the day ended and the night began to descend upon the earth. His S rank mission had turned out to be nothing but a simple search and seizure of a document that traced out the Hokaga's tower.

It hadn't taken long. It hadn't been enough.

He felt a weight enter his gut as he entered the village and two chunins checked him in at the front gate. He forced himself to smile behind the mask at one of the men as he joked about Kakashi actually being on time. In reality it had been a grimace. He walked towards Raido and placed the document in his hands.

He couldn't go back into the tower. Her realized that as his hand began to twitch. They would still be in there. Tsuanade. Shizune. The Elders. He couldn't trust himself, there was still too much anger too much rage.

He'd end up killing all of them.

"Take this to Tsuanade for me would you?" he smiled at the man. Raido looked at him confused, but Kakashi didn't give him a chance to say anything as he moved off faster than the man could hope to follow.

The woman would probably give him hell about it tomorrow but he couldn't do it. Not right now.

"Ah my esteemed rival!" Kakashi paused as the green clad male walked into view. Normally he would have rolled his eyes and told Gai to move on than pull out a book and walk away. Normally he would have told the man he was too tired to deal with him. Didn't feel like fighting.

Kakashi glanced at the male suddenly feeling appreciative as the man came closer. "Finally I found you! I didn't think you'd gotten my message so I came looking for you."

"Message?" Kakashi narrowed his eye at the male. "I haven't received anything from you today. I was on a mission." He let his thoughts drift from there. His fingers itched ready for a fight. Wanting it.

"Ah," Gai put a hand to his lip in thought. "No wonder Sakura wasn't able to give you my message."

Kakashi's blood ran cold. All of a sudden his world stopped and the will to fight left him completely.

"I mean I know that she would be reliable to giving you the information because she is a top student of the academy. Nothing like my Neji or Tenten mind you, but she is smart and one of your most responsible students. Your top student if I remember what you said exactly."

Kakashi felt like someone was ripping his intestines out and he was forced to watch it. His voice was slightly hoarse as he looked at Gai calmly. "Yes I did. Now if you excuse me Gai I have to go give Lady Hokaga my mission report." It was a lie, but all of a sudden he wanted to get away from the man. The idea of fighting was lost when he'd mentioned Sakura and Kakashi wanted to go home and drink.

He wanted to go home and lock himself away from the world. A world he once again had soiled.

"Yes. I see you've done your job as a ninja for the village and you want to hurry up to report your mission complete I assume." Kakashi didn't say anything but grinded his teeth behind the mask. Yeah he'd done his job you could say that. He'd been a good ninja. A good boy.

Kakashi took off and moved from rooftop to rooftop. Going any other way would take way to long for him and the longer he was outside the less he could trust himself from doing something stupid. If the will came back to fight it wouldn't be anything less than the maximum. The maximum of anything was the only thing that could take his mind off of it. That anything would be drink.

Kakashi tore into his cupboard in the kitchen with more enthusiasm than he'd hoped for. He pulled off the top of one of the bottles and yanked down his mask to drink. Forget the damn cup. He moved to the small sofa and sat down eying the door to his bedroom with a look of disgust. There was no way he would sleep in there. Not that he planned on even having the ability to move off of the couch to get to his bedroom.

Kakashi took a longer swig before turning on some pounding music. He usually didn't care to listen to the trash that today's bands put out, but he didn't see any other way to lose himself. When he was younger and even after he'd quit ANBU he'd found that the best way to forget it all was to put on some hard rock and roll crap and drink.

The music today really sucked.

An hour later and he found himself bobbing his head to the music as he grinned stupidly at the bottle in his hand. He had absolutely no idea what he was doing anymore as he laid back and stared at the ceiling. There wasn't any feeling left in his hand, but he continued to stare at it because of the third empty bottle.

"_With the holocoaust…._

"_you never know how your face is haunting me"_

"_my memory…..leave this time…."_

"………_Into the abyss will I run"_

In his state he didn't realize that he was mouthing some of the chorus before he did it. He didn't register his own voice or his own lips moving….Another song came on and his voice got slightly louder.

"_Then show me. Here we go. All the people in the left wing:Fuck and all the people in the right wing Fuck and all the people in the upper ground: fuck." _

He lost track of the words of the song as he began to repeat over and over. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." The liquor slipped from his hands landing on the floor hollowly as he began to slowly cry and the world swirled before he passed out. …into sweet forgiving oblivion.

**

* * *

**

Kakashi's Dream: Contains scenes from Male Rape. Rating: M.

Kakashi felt the first pull on his hand bringing him further and further into the mattress as another hand ran down his bare chest. He had to force himself to calm down as his breath hitched. The male above him was shrouded in blackness, just a silhouette in the room. His body was younger; he stared down and saw his own body completely exposed.

He must've been about nine, a young boy.

The male chuckled as he began to fight him and push against his heavier chest. Kakashi grounded his teeth, this was not going to happen. The figure chuckled before two hands grabbed his wrists so fast Kakashi couldn't keep up. In the next second his hands were tied above his head.

Kakashi couldn't speak, but he opened his mouth begging the words to come out as the offending hand ran down the length of his stomach and a finger began to draw circles on his inner thigh. His legs were kept apart by the man above him.

Kakashi squeezed his eyes closed and bit his lip trying to calm down and think the situation through. The man above him was so cold.

"Kakashi," the voice was a whisper, but the male heard it and opened his eyes to stare into the blue ones beside him.

"Sensei!" the whisper screamed in his ear in relief. "Help me." ANBU black ops came up from behind his teacher and Kakashi couldn't help but blush as the men he knew saw him in such position. They would stop the man though; they wouldn't allow him to do this. He recognized the ANBU slightly as the men and women that been in the service when he himself was a part of the ANBU black ops.

He felt their stare just as he felt the man move his legs farther apart grabbing his right ankle and moving the leg up so that his knee was to his stomach. He didn't register it though as the third hokaga and Jiraiya appeared beside his sensei.

"He can handle it," Sarutobi's voice was cool and full of confidence as he stared at Kakashi. "This is a mission that he can handle." Kakashi blinked, what was the man talking about? Mission?

"Everyone has to make sacrifices for the village." Jiraiya looked at Kakashi and the boy felt tears swell in his eyes as he stared back at the unwavering gaze. "Some are just bigger than others."

Another voice came into the room that didn't belong to any of the men, but it struck Kakashi harder than any kunai could. "He's strong. My son is not weak, he'll survive."

Sukumo was standing on the other side of the bed shaking his head at his son with his arms crossed. Kakashi jerked his head and stared at the harsh figure staring at him in disgust. "If he was stronger this wouldn't have happened. The mission comes first."

"Daddy," Kakashi's voice was so quiet he hadn't even realized that he'd spoken aloud. The tears began to poor down his face as his sensei spoke the unforgiving words. His entire body began to tremble as the man turned his back on him and walked away, fading into the dark. "DAD!!!!" Kakashi screamed now, his lungs burning from the effort.

"He can handle it," Sarutobi faded to along with Jiraiya whose voice was a lasting echo. "The village requires sacrifices."

All that was left was his sensei, Minato, and the ANBU black ops. "Please!" Kakashi begged as his cheeks were spread apart by another invading hand. "Sensei please. I can't do this. I don't want this-I can-please-Don't leave me." His voice was strained with unshed emotion.

"You're a ninja. Do your mission no matter what the cost," the male's voice was darker and Kakashi couldn't stop himself from wondering who the man was infront of him. Minato wasn't like this. "The village comes first. It's always come first. You're a solider accept it." Minato turned his back to Kakashi and the other ANBU black ops followed suit.

The swollen member entered the opening of Kakashi's flesh slowly. Ripping at the skin and causing as much pain as possible. There was no lube, nothing to make it easier as it slowly moved deeper and deeper.

It was tearing him in two.

"I Can't!!" Kakashi screamed as the pain engulfed him and tore him completely that the male gave a blood curdling scream at his mentor who continued to just walk away.

**End Dream Scene. Your good now! ******

* * *

Kakashi jerked away and fell off of the couch with an unceremonious thud. The dream still pounded in his head, but he forced it back and stared at the ceiling. Looking up at the window he saw the light and knew it was morning. He sat up, his butt resting on the bottle from last night-no wonder the light felt like it was burning him.

The music was still playing and he barely caught the words.

"_So pardon me as I burst into flame…"_

Kakashi growled and moved, doing anything to keep the dream from taking over or thinking about it. It was not something he wanted to deal with or go into at all. He moved through his bedroom to the adjoined bathroom. He kept his eyes to the floor unable to look at the bed as he pulled out an aspirin from the cabinet above the bathroom sink. Turning on the water he cupped it in his hands to swallow.

Kakashi stared at his mirror image and saw the sweat and bags underneath his eyes. He'd slept a good portion of the night, but you'd never known it by looking at him. The drink in his system had made his body look like the walking dead.

"Damn it all," his voice was a hoarse mutter as his mind ran through the dream again. Years earlier a thought or mention of that night would make him lose control, but he'd learned to deal with it. Learned to get over it. He was a ninja and the mission always came first-wasn't that what they'd drilled in his head all these years?

So why was it coming so hard to live that way now?

Kakashi grabbed a towel and moved back into the bedroom. The sheets had been completely changed and the bed was made, but he swore he could still smell her. He shook his head until his eyes met with that of his teachers. Yodaime stared back and him with that confident smile. It completely unnerved him. Going over to the picture he turned over his team photo from years ago.

The other caught his eye. Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura. The girl looked so innocent and he wondered when she'd grown up. When that childish aurora fell from her body that night he'd destroyed her. He picked it up and let his finger run across her face.

"Forgive me." His voice was a light whisper. He'd given up being their teacher and decided that he'd never get another team.

He could never look the boys in the eyes again and Sakura might as well break if she saw his face. As far as she was concerned he was some pervert teacher who'd drug her away and raped her in the dead of night. And that was how he wanted it.

When the village had left him in the hands of that man so many years ago, when they'd left him and didn't come for him like they'd promised he'd blamed them. He hated and despised the village and almost ran away if it hadn't been for Minato who had stood by him the entire time. In truth he still held a grudge and for years he'd been on the verge of becoming a missing nin.

No it was better that she thought he'd done it. Better for her to believe that she'd been a victim of a teacher and not that the village had willingly threw her to the wolves. Had ordered that it be done.

Better she hate him than them.

What would that do to someone to realize that the very people you were sworn to protect threw you unprotected and unguarded to the greatest of torment? He sat the picture face down beside the other. Maybe one day he could look at them again.

"Hate me. Hate me because I know you could never forgive them."

He hadn't.

* * *

Okay sorry about the wait, but I this was a delicate thing to write and I wanted to get the emotions just right.

Anyway a little dark and sad at the same time. Hope you like it-I feel sorry for Kakashi-I do but I wanted to give them a common link so to speak. Besides it could easily work with his past.

I hope it cleared up why he didn't want to tell her that the village had ordered him to do it. If you have any questions or anything click the grey button and let me know! See ya later.

Next chapter: I time skip to an unstable Kakashi and a dealing Sakura under Tsunade's teachings at the hospital.


	4. The Past is in the Mirror

Wow, this story is picking up a whole lot better than I thought. And hey, I'm not a big KakaSaku fan either. I don't get the whole teacher and student thing that some people get, but I do like true love no matter what bounds. Guess I'm a hopeless romantic at heart….besides my mom always swore that I'd end up with someone who about 10 years or so older than me. (Guess that would make me Sakura….guh married to an old man….)

Anyway, I'm not the one you want to talk about so heres the next chapter.

**Story Summary:** Same as Ch. One

**Chapter Rating:** M –cutting, talk of rape, drinking, bar fight, and vague sex scene (sorry-no love scenes between Kakashi and Sakura.….but there will be some in about three more chapters.)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto because if I did, Kakashi would be in every episode, with a little less on….XD

**

* * *

**

Moving on: The Past is Always in the Mirror

Sakura walked into the Hokaga's tower with a nervous strut and the file in her hands. Tsunade was not going to be happy that Sune, a missing nin captured by the ANBU, had died last night. The man had been under her care as part of her medic ninja training, but he'd died from a heart attack at there in the morning. She did what she could, but dealing with something like that wasn't something she'd gone through before. No one had expected that to happen, he'd been completely healthy when they'd bought him in and when the other medics had finally answered her call it was too late.

She stopped at the elevator and got on glad that no one else was on. She shifted the files and grounded her teeth as they rubbed the scars under the long sleeved shirt she'd taken to wearing. It was a paler red than she usually wore, almost pink enough to match her hair, which had grown to the base of her neck, but she wouldn't let it grow any further.

Sasuke liked girls with long hair and she wasn't in to getting his attention anymore. Not now, not after what happened. Her mind went blank as she continued the slow ride. Her eyes were unfocused as she stared at the floor without any thoughts.

The ding from the elevator stopping and the door opening caught her attention. She jumped and stared at the floor number. Still five under Tsunade's office, someone was getting on. She didn't bother to look up until she felt his stair and smelled that scent.

She glanced up to find Kakashi staring at her. His hand was on the button staring at her as if he was just as confused as he was. They hadn't crossed paths since that night; she'd avoided him and became Tsunade's apprentice by the end of the week. Actually, the job had been a great welcoming and got her out of the funk she'd been in. It had given her a purpose to move on.

The door to the elevator started to close and she felt her breath stop as it was about to separate the two when his green gloved hand jerked out and stopped the door from closing. Obeying the doors opened and he stepped in, ignoring her, and stared at the floor panel before she heard him growl slowly and put his hands in his pocket.

Sakura felt her breath quicken and her body pressed on the opposite side of the elevator, the box seemed so small. Suffocating.

Her hands began to shake slightly as it seemed that he was pressed right beside her. She could see him breath. She could see him move. A sweat began on her lower back and forehead.

* * *

Kakashi cursed his luck, he'd spent the past two months from that night staying away from her. Doing missions and training Sasuke now that Naruto was under the care of Jiraiya had taken up all of his time that he had away from A and S rank missions. So far he'd done his job well, until now. He had to get to Tsunade and give her his mission report on the assassination mission last night and get home to go to sleep on the couch again, so walking away from the only working elevator in the tower was not an option. He'd been up for almost two days straight and he knew his heart couldn't take much more.

Now he was regretting his decision.

He could almost smell her apprehension and fear. It filled the small space and created a tension between the two that couldn't be explained. He breathed a sigh of relief when the bell dinged again and the door opened. He moved to walk out of the elevator, but stopped.

This was her floor and she wasn't getting off.

Turning, he saw her feet sway and her teal eyes fall back in her head before leaping forward and catching her.

"Sakura!" The name left his mouth as the file in her hand fell on the floor. He held her body at an angle so her head rested on his shoulder and his arms wrapped around her thin shoulders. He closed his eyes momentarily and let out a slow breath. "Sakura."

He sighed and used his left hand to pick up the file and jab the button to reopen the doors and walked on the floor. He held her form in his hands blowing at the stray pink locks that hit his mouth and cheek. She was so warm. And so light. Frail.

"Kakashi what happened?" Raido looked at him with several boxes in his hands. "Is she alright?" He motioned towards Sakura. "She didn't faint did she? I told her she was working too hard lately. She needs to take a day off." Raido shook his head as Kakashi agreed with him before moving on.

She fainted alright, but he didn't think it was from over working. Or stress.

It had been from seeing him.

That fact sent another stab of pain into his gut and he placed his right hand under her butt and held her closer leaning back to make sure she didn't fall as his left hand knocked on the brown door.

"Come in," Tsunade voiced from behind her desk. Kakashi found her looking over some files at her table and when she looked up she raised an eyebrow. "Kakashi? What happened?"

"She saw me in the elevator and fainted," Kakashi didn't bother to sugar coat it as he moved over and placed her on the red sofa on the side of the room before closing the door behind him. He walked over to Tsunade and noticed her giving him a look. "Here's what I assume she was coming to give you. As for my mission, the written report is in ANBU files, but it was a success."

"Kakashi, you should talk to her or something." Tsunade grabbed the files from his hand and put it on the table absently. "I've asked her to talk to a counselor and she refused asking me why she would need to. I understand that the situation and what happened is delicate, but she has to get over it and put the past behind her. The same thing happened with you, so I was thinking that you could talk to her and convince her to at least try something."

Kakashi looked at the woman with little emotion as she ran off her words. It fell around him like a waterfall, a lot of noise, but no sense. He ran a weary hand through his even grayer hair. His form was leaner than it used to be and his body was beginning to sag. The past months were taking its toll on him physically, there was even an unshaved stubble under his mask that ran on the fabric causing discomfort every time he moved.

"I already told you that there is no point. She's gotten over what happened with the village, she just can't find it in herself to face me. And that's fine, she's not my student any longer. Just leave her alone and she'll do what she needs to do. If she wants to see a counselor than she will."

Tsunade stood with anger in her eyes and voice as she looked at the male across from her and glared, "Are you telling me you don't care because she's not your student anymore Kakashi? Have you just written her off like that? What happened to all that fighting you did with the Elders over her? You almost lost your job because you believed that it was wrong and now you're telling me that you don't care because she's no longer your responsibility."

"No," Kakashi shook his head filing a head ach. "You don't understand. Leave her be because to bring it up will cause more pain than necessary. You see the progress she's making, she's working, she doesn't hide in her room, she's gone out to eat with Sasuke and Naruto in the past month by herself and without any others. She trusts them again. She's trying. If you step in the middle of it she might relapse."

Tsunade sighed, Ibiki had told her the same thing time and time again. She wasn't suppose to bring up the rape at all, if Sakura wanted to talk about it, when Sakura wanted to talk about it, she would bring it up. To bring it up herself might send her back on suicide watch like she had been for that first two weeks. Tsunade had sent an ANBU squad to shadow the girl and watch her. Sakura had cut, but didn't make it to the point of suicide. There was no need for the ANBU now.

"Fine." The Hokaga shook her head. "Go get some sleep, you look like shit."

Kakashi tired a half smile; it barely came out, "I feel like shit. Excuse me." He turned around and walked out the door, but not before he noticed that she was wearing long sleeves again.

* * *

Sakura woke up and stared at the ceiling before Tsunade spoke up crashing her thoughts. "Glad to see you've woken up." She looked up at Tsunade for a second, before staring into space. Why was she here? The memory of the elevator ride hit her hard and she forced herself not to panic. Tsunade couldn't know.

She forced down the feelings, but felt the pressure and bubbling inside her stomach. "Forgive me lady Hokaga, I-I-I must have fainted." She stood and forced herself to stand straight before bowing. "I have the file…." She stopped. What had happened to the file.

Tsunade held it up in her hand. "I have it Sakura. Kakashi gave it to me when he brought you in here."

"He brought me here!" She screamed in her head jerking her head up to look at the woman. She'd fainted in the elevator with Kakashi in it, there was no telling what he could have done to her before he bought her into the hokaga's office. She was such a slut, had anything happened? "Yes ma'am. I'm sorry about the prisoner."

"There was nothing you could have done Sakura." Tsunade looked at her worriedly. "I'm more concerned about you. Why don't you go home and take the rest of the day off. The loss of the that man was only a small blow, but if I loose anymore because you're tired there will be a greater blow."

Sakura felt iron in her gut as she looked down. She'd failed Tsunade. "Yes ma'am. I'll see report to you tomorrow ma'am." She turned and walked out the door sick. She'd failed her teacher again. She wasn't even worth going to all this trouble for, and she kept throwing it back at her and failing. How much further could she sink?

She walked out into the sun and made a path towards Ino's flower shop. Her mother loved to keep freshly cut flowers in the house, and the ones on the table were wilting. She needed something to keep her mind of what happened.

"What happened? What did he do to you! Do you know what he could have done!" Her mind screamed at her, but she ignored it staying calm. She smiled at Chouji and Tenten as they passed. It was odd to see those two working together, but from the scroll in the girls hand she could only guess it was for a mission. The summer breeze ran through her hair and she found it comforting before she found herself longing to run with it. Run faster and faster until she could leave this all behind.

But she had a village she'd sworn to protect.

Sakura stopped at the shop and stared at the closed sign with a raised eyebrow. Since when was the shop closed this early on a weekday? She put both hands to the window and peeked inside to see nothing.

Sighing, Sakura moved towards her home. She forced her self to walk at a slow pace until she came inside. No one would be home, her mother and father out working. Slipping off her shoes, she hated as they clunked to the floor with their echo. She glanced around hoping that her mother had failed to clean up before leaving this morning. Hoping there was something to do. Something to keep her busy.

There wasn't. The place was immaculate.

Sakura walked up to her room and felt the walls crumble around her with each step. She hated it, hated when there was nothing to do. Hated the fact that there was just her, she wasn't sane anymore. To be alone wasn't right.

She closed her door softly and walked to her bed sitting down on it and drew up her knees to stare out her window trying to space out. She'd been able to do it so many times before, it was dangerous she knew, especially for being a ninja, but it was the only thing she could do against the pain. She tried to focus but not focus, her mind wouldn't shut up.

"He brought you to the Hokaga! You slut, what did you let him do? You fainted and wouldn't even fight back! Did you even fight back last time? Or did you let him!"

Sakura growled in frustration and threw her pillow up before stomping into the bathroom and slammed the door shut with such force that the hinges shook.

"I did fight back," she mumbled. "I didn't want it. I didn't want him too….." even after all this time she couldn't say the words. Her hands gasped her hair and she pulled it from her scalp using the pain to keep her on earth. To keep her landed. She felt her entire body shake with adrenaline that she didn't' want and she moved to look at the mirror in desperation. She stared at her reflection before turning on icy cold water to splatter on her face. When she looked up she saw Kakashi behind her, mask less, and naked.

She turned and gripped the sink, but there wasn't anyone there.

"Damn it!" She yelled. "Stay away from me! Don't touch me!" It'd been weeks since she'd had a nightmare or trick caused by her own paranoia. She'd gotten over it in the second month. She'd gotten over it.

"I'm fine," she mumbled. Her eyes strayed to the pink razor on the surface of the sink. Numb fingers reached out towards it as her mind went blank. She picked it up and let her body fall back as she pulled up her left pants leg. She didn't cut on her wrists or arms all the time, it was too easy to tell. She had to keep them hidden.

She hissed as the blade hit the back of her calf, a razor wasn't a clean or as easy as a kunai and it stung harder, but it was the only thing there. And she needed release. She closed her eyes and breathed shallow as the blood came from the small cut and wound, sneaking out from between the two pieces of skin to change its color from blue to red as it met the world. Another slash slowly started and ran down shallow above the other. It was longer, but wasn't as deep. She watched in fascination as the blood from the new wound above the other mixed with the one beneath it and became one.

Her eyes moved from the red drops to the red stains on the razor. Tears swelled and she threw the blade away and turned on the shower stripping and throwing her clothes with the others on top of the mirror. There wasn't a bit of the reflective glass showing. There hadn't been since the second night. She couldn't look at herself anymore.

Stepping in the hot water she cried and let her body jerk with each breath until she was coughing and curled up on the cool tub. She stayed there, finally unplugging from the world into nothingness, until the water turned cold. She moved to turn it off and dried herself before jumping in bed, suddenly too tired to put on any clothes. Her comforter was comfortable even in the warm air.

She fell asleep.

* * *

Kakashi stared at his empty cupboard in disdain. There was nothing there. He glanced at the trash can and caught sight of the glass bottle, he'd finished it the other night. He ran a hand down the back of his neck and rubbed it as his eyes looked around for the clock. It was already eight at night, he had nothing better to do.

He took a quick shower loving the hot water as it turned his skin a light pink red before stepping out and getting in a fresh clean uniform. In no time he walked out the door and into the bar. It wasn't like most of the others; it was run by a foreigner and was completely inside like some restaurant. He didn't think it would catch on at first because it wasn't open like the others, but local drunks and several younger couples like the secluded area. You could drink without having to worry about the other people crossing the street and wondering what they would think.

Kakashi walked in and was immediately glad he wore a mask over his face; everybody seemed to be into smoking lately. Even ninja. He walked over to the bartender and ordered his drink from the overweight man when a voice came from over his shoulder and a hand clapped down on his back.

"Kakashi, didn't know you were coming tonight." It was Asuma and he dragged Kakashi back with him to the table of other junin and chunin once the male got his drink. Kakashi sat down feeling slightly trapped, but he smiled at everyone from behind his mask. Kurenai was there along with Raido, Genma, and surprisingly Gai. He picked the wrong night to come over.

All he wanted was to lose himself, now he was going to have to stay in reality.

"Ah my rival," Gai immediately looked up. "I have yet to see you in a week's time. We have not battled in a long time and I refuse to leave ourselves marked with three in your favor. I demand a chance to win back my place." And with that grand introduction Kakashi downed his first drink and went to get another.

"Hey Kakashi, Sakura alright?" Kakashi stared up at Raido and bit his tongue to stop the emotions before nodding. "Yeah, she just fainted that's all."

"She needs to take better care of herself," Kurenai spoke. "I've seen her at the medical center and all she does is run around exhausting herself."

"Tsunade gave her a day off today," Kakashi spoke up wanting to end the conversation right then and there. He'd come to drown her out, to drink away any thought or memory, not to rehash everything that had happened today.

"So," Asuma looked at Kakashi, "It seems Ino's getting really close to Sasuke as of late."

Kakashi blinked, his hand on the tip of his mask to pull it down and take another sip of the alcohol. "I didn't know you were one for looking into your students personal life Asuma. Didn't know you were into that sort of thing."

"I can't help it," Asuma shook his head and took a drag. "That's all she'll talk about. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, I mean I've heard of obsession but this is getting down right pathetic. I don't know how you managed to have both Sakura and Sasuke on the same team."

"It wasn't hard," Kakashi's voice floated light across the table. "He ignored her and Naruto added a happy medium. He liked Sakura, hated Sasuke. Sasuke hated both Naruto and Sakura and Sakura loved Sasuke and hated Naruto."

Genma shook his head and brought the conversation to files and other instances involving Raido and a coffee machine. The latter made the other blush out of embarrassment, but caused a laugh from everyone at the table and a long drawn out speech by Gai.

Kakahsi ignored it all. He could see their faces and watch their mouths move, but he couldn't hear anything they were saying. He gave a low sigh as he moved back to the bar and got another two drinks. When he came back he threw his head back and drank the first one without stopping, without savoring the sting as it just ran down his throat. Almost like water. When he was done and replaced the mask he put it beside the other five glasses. He knew without a second thought that he was just about tipsy.

His tolerance had grown in the past few months.

The others looked at him slightly shocked. "Um Kakashi don't you think it's a little early to be hitting it this hard?" He looked over at Genma and shook his head. "I'm not even close to tipsy yet." It was a lie really, by the time he got down to the second drink he'd be tipsy, and it would be his last.

"Ah Kakashi you think you're so cool," Gai commented. "Drinking away at six and working on your seventh without even getting slightly under the influence of the drink."

Kakashi gave a growl and turned to look at the man. "This stuff isn't even the good crap. It's a beer. So cut it out, I didn't come here for some stupid speech about how screwed up your observation skills are. I came to enjoy myself and that's exactly what I'm going to do. You got that Might?" His voice was curt and short with anger.

The table was taken back, Kakashi had never lost his cool with anyone, especially Gai before. The Green Beast just laughed though and picked up a chip to eat from the middle of the table.

Asuma and Kurenai exchanged a look that only lovers could read, but he knew it was about him so Kakashi willed himself to calm down. He'd never been a mean drunk, just a weeping and crying drunk. Hell, he couldn't even be a happy drunk.

"Kakashi are you okay?" Asuma looked at him from across the table. No one had been close to the junin, no one but Minato. Not even his own team mates as children could pierce the shell that the silver haired man had built around himself, but he was a comrade and he had them worried. They couldn't lose one of their greatest warriors.

"I'm fine," Kakashi took a deep breath to settle himself down.

"You look like shit. And I know for a fact that you're taking more suicide missions than you need too." Genma looked up at him. "What's the deal are you trying to kill yourself?"

Kakashi gave a barking laugh at that one startling everyone at the table. Was he trying to kill himself? Would they really want to know the answer to that? "No, I've just been bored lately."

"You've lost weight too," Kurenai spoke up looking at him. "Your eyes are bloodshot too."

"I didn't know you were checking me out," Kakashi shot back defensively. "I'd have tried to fill out more for you. Didn't think I had a chance considering you've got Asuma in your bed."

"Kakashi," Asuma growled with enough warning in his voice. Kurenai gasped slightly at his bold use of words and Genma and Raido just looked at each other. It was Gai who opened his big mouth enough to bring the other male back in control of himself.

"Look, its been a rough couple of weeks. I'm sorry," Kakashi back tracked. He didn't need to act like such an asshole and to be honest he couldn't even remember the last time he had apologized for anything.

"Kakashi," Jiraiya's voice flooded happily into everyone's ears and all the tension faded into the back ground as the sanin walked towards them. "Just the man I wanted to see." He grinned as he pulled out a red book from beneath his jacket.

"Oh jeez you have to be kidding me, you didn't bring that filth in here did you?" Kurenai spoke up disgusted. Jiraiya gave the book to Kakashi and than looked up at her, "Good literature is not filth."

"Right, good literature, not porn on paper," the woman shot back.

Kakashi ignored them and read the back of the book. It seemed good, something to keep his mind off of what had happened. Something to keep the pink haired female off of his mind. Something else entirely to dream about.

When he flipped the red book over, it dropped on the table and Kakahsi picked up his last glass and downed it quickly before looking at Jiraiya. "I don't want it."

"What are you talking about?" Jiraiya seemed confused that his greatest customer would turn the book down.

"The cover you son of a bitch the cover! Look at her!" His mind screamed in his head, but he didn't voice that aloud. Instead all he said was, "I can't read this volume." His voice was slightly strained as he picked up the book and handed it to him making sure to keep his eyes elsewhere.

"Why?" Jiraiya didn't take the book but seemed hurt all the same. "Don't tell me you're giving up the finer things in life."

Kakashi shook his head. "I just can't read this volume." His voice was tighter as he got up, all he wanted to do was force his body to move and go home. Go home and pass out on his couch. Something. Anything. But he couldn't stay here.

"I don't get it, she's hot." Jiraiya finally got the book and looked at the cover as Kakashi began to walk away. "Is it because she looks like Sakura? Aw come on Kakashi this is a grown up version and besides I bestowed more to her than the live one is going to get. I mean its not like she is now. This is when you'd want to get in her pants."

Kakashi didn't know what happened, but in his drunken state he pushed all the chakra he had to his fist and feet to send the sanin sprawling on the ground with a bruise like mark already beginning to form on his cheek. It was one of the most satisfying things he'd done in months.

It only took one angry action to turn the entire crowd of men and women with in the bar and soon the junins and Jiraiya was too focused on stopping the others from hurting each other than watching Kakashi as he walked from the bar and into the night air.

The image of a half naked Sakura straddling an unwilling, faceless to Kakashi, male while biting her lower lip and staring up at him with large eyes played in his head. Kakashi walked down to the alley way beside the bar and leaned against the cool stones while holding his head in his hands.

"Hey babe, you look like you could use some company. Ninjas get a discount."

Kakashi looked up at a long legged woman wearing a short skirt and red heels with wild and frizzy yellow curls. She wore bright red lipstick and had large brown eyes staring at him like a puppy dog. Her shirt couldn't be any tighter and Kakashi found a sick want growing in his stomach.

He hadn't had a good fuck since….Sakura popped up in his head, but he threw it aside. He'd been looking for a distraction for weeks and now here was one. Ready and willing to take his mind off of reality.

"The mask and head band stays on," he looked at her, but she shrugged. Apparently she'd been with a lot of other crazy junins and their paranoid quirks.

"Honey, you look like you need me to do all the work anyway. So the most I'll have you do is just lay there and let me do everything." This time Kakashi heard the silky pity in her voice and he stared at her eyes seeing the motherly emotion.

" I'll want you blindfolded."

She seemed slightly taken back, but her next words where after a slight sigh. "That bad huh? Okay, I don't do it often, but I will for you. For tonight and tonight only. And since we're making demand you are going to wear protection for me. Your place or mine."

"Yours." His voice was a whisper as all will left his body and he felt completely tired and heavy.

She gave him a small smile and grabbed his hand, feeling so warm in his own cold, before leading him through the maze of the village.

* * *

Vague Mature Scene. I wouldn't even call it M myself, but just to be safe.

Kakashi jerked as she took him into her mouth another time that night. He'd lost his all sense of the world as his body just knew the pleasure she was giving him. True to her word, he hadn't had to do a thing as she engulfed him in her body, wrapped herself completely around him, and teased him with her mouth.

She didn't say a word, but hummed and he felt himself grind his teeth together as he felt himself being deep throated. She backed away and he felt the cool air of the night hit him and it gave him chills throughout his entire body. She moved so she was straddling her and her blind hands ran up his chest to grip his shoulders. She leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

"Last time babe." She kissed him on the tip of his ear before muttering the price of the sin in his ear before taking him one last time. Her rhythm was slow and antagonizing and he found himself crying and near begging her to go faster.

She complied and it was over all too soon. She rolled off of him and told him to leave her and the money. He could change in the other room. She wouldn't take the blindfold off until he walked out the door.

**End Scene. See it was bad at all.**

* * *

Kakashi pulled up his pants completely and walked out of the place and threw the village slums feeling…dirty. The ecstasy he'd felt earlier was completely erased as he walked down the streets. It had to be three in the morning or so.

His body was exhausted, but he walked into a side store anyway and picked up a pack of cigarettes. He didn't know why the box was in his hand when he didn't even smoke, but he bought it home anyway.

Since when did he understand what he did lately anyway.

He put it on the table and filled up a dog food bowl with good meatloaf leftovers from the other night. He formed the seals and bought Pakkun into the apartment knowing the pug loved the stuff. Before the dog could even talk to his partner, Kakashi walked the couch and passed out face first.

"Kakashi," the dog whispered shaking his head. He didn't know what to do. He looked at the food in front of him and ate it solemnly before and idea came to his head. He knew it was early, but the dog turned and ran towards Tsunade's house.

There might be one way to stop this whole thing from going any further. It wasn't going to be easy, but a reunion of team seven might just do the trick.

* * *

Haha! I am so proud of myself. An update this quick. *tear* its beautiful. And it only took me a day to right. Thank goodness.

Usually it takes me five days to move it through my head until I like it. Maybe I should just sit and type it…..

Anyway, this was quick so I expect updates. Heart u people! Heart u!


	5. Chapter 5

Wow, thanks for the reviews guys. This is getting a lot of good reviews and to be honest I haven't been this happy or pushy about writing in a while. It's refreshing, really.

I have to say that I honestly believe this is one of the better stories that I've written. Don't worry I haven't forgotten about the other one, Radiant Storm, its just that you have to be in the mood to write that one. And who would have thought that Sakura made a good female character to write about? Or should I say torture? I mean she's not my favorite character, not even close to it and all my stories so far seem to revolve around her.

I guess it's because she's so normal. And you don't have to worry about adding all that other crap that you have to do with the others. It's a thought.

**Summary:** Chapter One

**Chapter Rating:** M for graphic language and scenes (You have one people. I decided to be nice, but its really really short. You know I love you thought)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. I have no ties to whatever genius that guy did with it, I just like putting a little sixteen year old twist on it. X#

**A Reunion of Tender Hearts: Team Seven's Comeback**

Tsunade sat down looking at the chunin in front of her. They were all growing up, even Naruto could stand still for the duration of time they would be waiting for Kakashi. She frowned slightly noticing how Sakura kept her body angled away from both of the boys. When they'd talked to her she'd answered and when they touched her, she hadn't jumped, but she wasn't starting anything herself. And for being so in love with Sasuke, she was standing a good five fee from him with Naruto playing as a safety net in the middle.

She wondered if Pakkun had been right. The dog came barking at her window at unknown hours of the night begging her to listen to him for the sake of everyone. She'd agreed, but only after giving up the frustrations of being helpless. Ibiki could go screw himself, she was tired of just standing by and letting her ninja dwindle in front of her. Something had to be done.

Her head shifted towards the clock on her desk and she noticed that he was now four hours late. Even for Kakashi that was pushing it; he must've been off a little more than she thought.

A half an hour later the silver haired junin came through the door with a lazy expression on his features. He didn't bother with a greeting, but instead stared at his team slightly dumbstruck.

"Ha!" Naruto pointed a finger at him. "You're late again!"

Sasuke huffed and folded his arms staring at the opposite wall.

Kakashi was taken aback by the blonde, but he quickly fell into the routine that they'd gotten into in the past years he'd been his teacher. "Sorry, there was this little black kitten…" Kakashi let his voice fade like he used too. If Naruto heard the lack of enthusiasm or understanding in the male's voice, he didn't show it.

He didn't even realize that Sakura hadn't joined him on the rampage of chastising their teacher.

"Lady Hokaga," Kakashi placed his hands in his pant pockets and glared at the woman. He'd been called here because he was told he'd receive an assignment. There had been nothing mentioned about a team. Nothing at all about his ex-team.

He heard Sakura shuffle her feet and didn't have to turn his head to know that she was just as uncomfortable with this whole situation as he was. In fact she was probably having a harder time dealing with the fact that the woman in front of them planned to put them on the same team.

Tsunade ignored the man's silent protest and got immediately into the details of the mission. It was a simple guarding mission; escort Rurano Hikari to the village hidden in the sand. The female was a well known biochemist and she was going to Sand to team up with another group. It should have been just a one man's job, but the documents she'd be taking with her were too important to leave to chance.

"Why don't we get any of the good missions?" Naruto grumbled as he walked out of the office.

"Because you aren't qualified you dobe," Sasuke rolled his eyes at the other male. Sakura was in front of the two, leaving the room as soon as she'd received the details of the mission. She had to stop herself from not begging the female to take her off of the mission and put someone else in her place. She had to stop herself from not running out the door just to get away from _him_.

"I'm a ninja," Sakura spoke hard to herself as she continued to lead them down the hall. "I can control myself."

"Hey Sakura," Naruto hurried up to the girl and turned around so he could walk backwards and stare at her. "Want to come with me to see Gaara while we're there?" The chunin grinned at her hopefully. "We've got five days to do the mission."

Sakura frowned looking at him hard. Was he trying to ask her out? She shook herself mentally as goose bumps ran up her spine. "No Naruto," she growled lightly. "I'm not going to prance around in a village while we're on a mission."

"Oh I get it," Naruto turned around so he walked beside her. "But we get a whole day or at least a half of one I'm sure. It only takes two days at the most if we're walking to get there; takes less if we run."

"She's a civilian," Sasuke broke in. "We won't be running anywhere."

"Are you my escort team?" A woman approached them. She had light brown hair that ran down to the middle of her back and the biggest brown eyes. Bedroom eyes. Her body was lean and sculpted underneath the skirt she was wearing.

"That depend who are you?" Kakashi asked stepping in front of his group. He was going to kill Tsunade for this later. Mentally he was running through ways of making the female pay and praying at the same time that Sakura wouldn't have a relapse. As he walked to the get in the front, his forearm brushed against the said female's shoulder. Sakura closed her eyes, but just shifted to give him more room.

Kakashi noticed her entire reaction with narrowed eyes. It was a good thing that she hadn't had an outburst like the one in the elevator, but she wasn't over it completely. He still put her on edge. This was going to be difficult.

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Hum?" Kakashi tore his eyes away from the wall and looked at the woman in front of him.

"My name his Rurano Hikari," the woman placed her hands on her hip. "Or don't you know that?"

Kakashi felt a slight raise in his eyebrow. What was that woman talking about? It didn't matter. "Then yes, we are the squad assigned to get you to the Sand village. Are you ready to leave immediately?" Kakashi gave her a light smile behind his mask as his eye curved upward.

"Actually I am," Rurano walked back to the seat she'd been sitting on and grabbed two suitcases. "I travel pretty light so I don't see the need to get a wagon or anything. Who are you guys?"

Kakashi frowned slightly at the way she'd addressed her question. Was there something that he was missing? He took the bags in his hands and passed them to Sasuke and Naruto. The blonde was about to protest when Sasuke stepped on his foot. For that Kakashi was eternally grateful, he had enough to deal with right now.

"I'm Hatake Kakahsi, leader of this squad for the mission."

"Uzumaki Naruto," the blonde smiled at the woman with a crazy expression. "Sasuke," the raven haired male barely responded.

"Haruno Sakura," the girl threw herself into the conversation and gave the woman a warm smile. "I need to go home and get my bag. I'll meet you all at the gate." She smirked at Kakashi, but didn't look at him, before walking out of the Hokaga's tower and towards her house.

Kakashi gave a low sigh as she left. Naruto's stomach growled, "Can we get anything to eat before we go?"

Sakura walked into her room and pulled out the back pack that she kept prepared for any missions out of the village. Inside were medical supplies, clothing, and other items she deemed necessary for survival. The boys might have liked to rough it wearing the same clothing every day on a short mission like this, but she'd really rather be civilized. Besides Sasuke already had his backpack and Kakashi kept one at the gate (not that she'd ever seen them use them).

She left a note on the kitchen table for her parents; it would just be easier that way and walked steadily back. According to most codes of conduct she should have been running back or transporting if she'd been a junin. She just had no reason or want to go back. Screw the system.

After what happened last week in the elevator she had no idea how she was suppose to deal with Kakashi. The man had caused her to pass out and she was unsure of how he'd taken it. The fact that he'd brought her to the Hokaga herself was a little comforting, he couldn't blame her for being there or talking to the woman after he'd left, but what was he up to?

And why had she lost control?

Being in the medical unit she'd seen a lot of wild and crazy reactions. People having a phobia of needles or blood would pass out, scream, or even try to run away. With Shizune's help she'd already stopped five violent reactions alone, but those people were sick. They weren't in control.

She should have been.

Sakura was so lost in her daze that she hadn't even realized she'd reached the gate to village and the others until she was right up on them. Naruto had a rice ball in his mouth and another n his hand.

"Hey Sakura," rice hit her face. "What took you so long?"

"Naruto," Sakura backed up and whipped her face. She glared at the male, "What what you're doing. You big ape." She growled and fought to keep herself from hitting him upside the head. The blonde seemed to get the picture and backed off. With Tsunade's training getting hit by her fist was not something that anyone wanted.

On the path towards the Sand Village the silence was almost defining. Kakashi had taken the lead with Sasuke behind him, Sakura beside Rurano and Naruto behind them all. The woman they were escorting didn't seem at all affected by the fast pace that Kakashi had proceeded to walk and Naruto had decided that carrying her bags was a training excursion. Apparently some argument between him and Sasuke had happened while she'd been home. Now Naruto was determined to beat the Uchiha as soon as the chance invented itself. This was just a warm up.

"So Sakura that's a beautiful name."

"Hum? Oh thank you ma'am." Sakura gave her a smile.

"You have such wonderful hair color, do you dye it?" At the question Sakura blushed. Rurano laughed and moved closer to the female ninja. "You can tell me honey, I promise not to go around and tell everyone. Just a little girl talk."

"Then why are you being so loud?" Sakura thought. The woman was talking as if Sakura was a good five feet or so away from her. They were barely two.

"No," she shook her head giving another smile. Maybe she'd gotten too good at pulling those to her face lately. They came almost automatically. "It's natural."

"Oh really," Rurano clicked her tongue and ran her hand through Sakura's hair. It wasn't the first time that a client had touched her so intimately before, but the fact that it was Rurano seemed to put her a little off. She pulled away slightly and hoped the woman didn't notice. She didn't.

"So you mean to tell me that the pink on your head is the same as your curls?" The woman gave a knowing smirk as her voice rose in volume.

Sasuke's footing stuttered and he seemed to skip slightly to catch up with his own two feet. Naruto blinked in confusion.

Sakura knew they'd heard the woman from their reactions and she had to force herself to walk and close her mouth. She was almost gaping at the question in pure shock. "I….um…..well…." What was it about the code? Keep the customer happy? "Yes." She knew for a fact that her face matched her hair now too. What kind of question was that? It caught her so off guard that she stumbled and Rurano had to grab her shoulders to keep her from falling.

Standing up again Sakura heard her laugh at her reaction. What was the woman's deal?

"You got someone who can vouch for that?" The woman let go to smirk at her. It was like the smirk of the devil. A chill ran up Sakura's spine as she pulled back completely. Thoughts running through her head, "Someone to vouch for that? She knows. She knows. She knows. She's going to tell everyone." Goosebumps ran up her body as she stared at the woman wide eyed.

A kunai ran past her face almost hitting Rurano in the process. The woman fell back on her but and screamed in horror as it embedded itself and a fly into the bark of a tree. Kakashi turned around halfway and smiled. "Sorry about that. The fly was bothering me. You know buzz buzz buzz." His eye was closed and his hands were in his pants. His body was in a complete lay back posture as Sakura looked at him in bewilderment. What had that been about?

Was he trying to stop her from telling? Sending a threat or just trying to shut the woman up? Whatever it was Sakura's hands grasped her pack harder as her knuckles turned white and she looked away. Naruto helped Rurano to her feet and she marched right up to Kakashi with a scowl on her face.

"What are you trying to do? Get me killed?" Her face was red as she jabbed a finger in his chest.

Kakashi to his credit didn't even budge a muscle. He just continued to smile at her and in a calm voice that contradicted her loud and boisterous one he spoke, "No. No. I'm sorry Miss Rurano, but I have very sensitive ears and the buzzing was starting to give me a head ach."

"Is this how you treat all of your clients Mr. Hatake? When I get back to the village I am going to-"

Kakashi cut her off mid sentence wrapping his arm around her and bringing her close to his body in a hug. His right arm went around him as his kunai hit another. "Get down. We're being ambushed."

"WHAT?" Naruto yelled dropping all the bags. Sasuke already had a kunai in his hand and his eyes were activated into his sharingan. A smirk was on his features, "It's probably just a bunch of bandits you dobe," he spoke to Naruto.

Sakura pulled out her own weapon and held it in front of her scanning the area. They'd walked right into a freaking ambush. How stupid were they? And if it was just a bunch of worthless bandits, wouldn't Kakashi have sensed them by now? She got a bad feeling in her gut as she stared at the trees. They were like sitting ducklings. She didn't like it.

Another kunai came at them and this time it was followed by three more in perfect succession all pointed towards Kakashi. With expert skill the junin grasped the female closer to him and jumped out of the way flipping to land between the triangle formation that Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto had created. Letting her go he turned towards the wood where the kunai had come from and threw two of his own kunai in that direction.

"Sakura protect Rurano. Naruto you're the second line of defense. Protect them both. Sasuke you're with me." Kakashi threw out the orders and wasn't surprised when Naruto grumbled about being left behind as Kakashi was hit with a kunai in his chest. Rurano screamed as the male grabbed the offending weapon intruding on his body before he became a log. Substitution jutsu.

"Fire style: Fire ball justu!" Sasuke sent his own chakra in a burning flame towards the woods following the path that the kunai had come from.

"Sakura!" Naruto yelled her name and formed three clones jumping over the pink haired female and attacking a man who looked at him and laughed. "Been there done that kid. Shadow clone." Several clones came out of nowhere and entered the field attacking the Naruto clones.

"Oh my god this is not happening. This is not happening." The woman behind Sakura was chanting loudly and Sakura fought the urge to turn around and knock her out. They couldn't afford to have someone panic. Another ninja came into the clearing, this time it was a female and she moved towards Sasuke with deadly intent. The hem of her dress was burned off as she threw a punch in his direction that didn't land and back flipped to pull a kunai with a bomb.

"Ah!" Naruto fell at Sakura's feet with a bruise forming on his cheek. He got up and with a battle cry ran back at the man.

Sakura knew her own mission, it wasn't to actually join the fight, but protect the client. She couldn't help but wonder where Kakashi was. She knew deep down that he hadn't abandoned him. Hadn't abandoned her, she wasn't sure she was happy with that knowledge though.

"Want to play little boy? How about catch?!" The woman's voice was like a screeching violin as she threw the paper bombed kunai at Sasuke. Sakura threw her own Kunai catching it by the circled handle and pushing it several feet away so that when it blew there was only a haze of smoke. The Uchiha moved skillfully behind the woman and rolled into the Hidden Lotus he'd picked up from Lee without missing a beat.

"Uzumaki Barrage!"Sakura smirked slightly in belief as she heard Naruto yell. It seemed that the two of them were using the same move at the same time. Then they had the advantage.

"What's up Pinky?"

The voice was a completely different one and Sakura hissed as wires wrapped around her from either side. Twin males with hair covering the opposite eyes (one covering the right and another the left) came into view. Each of them was holding an end of the line and she groaned slightly as the pulled it digging into the skin enough to cut it as they held her arms closer to her body. The smoke from the paper bomb must've hidden the two from her line of sight.

"Would you look at that, she gets off on pain." She heard one of the men chuckle, but she wasn't paying much attention. The shallow cuts the men were making from the various wraparounds of her body was slightly like the cuts she'd made to herself. She fought her mind to regain control. That kind of cutting was a way to get away from reality, deadly in the field.

"What to do now Sakura?" She thought. She was caught and with her hands pinned to her thighs she wasn't sure what options she had.

"Sakura!" Naruto yelled her way again and she jumped to look at him. The man he was fighting had fallen from the Uzumaki Barrage, but had gotten up and fighting the male at a speed that seemed unnatural for his huge build. Naruto was on the losing end.

"Here!" she felt a sharp pain run down her arm and looked down to see Rurano with a kunai cutting away the with a strong downwards slash. It cut her arm further, but she felt grateful as the cords fell away.

"Tsk Tsk. You shouldn't have done that brown eyes." The man to Sakura's right moved towards them pulling out a weapon that looked like an ax. Sakura reached for a paper bomb and threw it at him. The twin appeared behind her and she felt him grab her arms and swing her out of the way and into a tree. Dazed she looked over as he moved towards Rurano with a glint in his eyes.

Sakura knew in that moment he was going to kill the woman. Moving as fast as she could pushing chakra to her feet she got between the two of them. There wouldn't be enough time to stop the blow, but she would take it.

A huge shadow appeared in front of her and large arms pulled her close to a smooth like surface. The strike never hit, but she heard an animal like grunt as a familiar smell entered her nostril.

"Sorry I'm late. There was another one in the woods."

It was Kakashi and Sakura didn't have time to register the fact that he'd gotten between her and the assailant saving her from a possible deadly attack before he leaned close to her ear. Her heart skipped a beat when he whispered with his hot breath. "Aren't medic nins suppose to worry about staying alive to save others after the battles through?"

He pulled away from her then to turn around and grasp the male by the neck and fling him several feet away. Sakura stood in shock before nodding numbly. Her entire body was shaking slightly, it was only until she heard Rurano's sniffling behind her that she picked up a weapon and resumed her earlier position in front of the woman.

Kakashi didn't bother to waste any more time with these less than average missing nins. Pulling up his hentai-ate he cut his finger and rolled it over a scroll before performing the technique Fang Pursuit Jutsu. The twin that had his blood on his weapon soon found himself caught in a trap of fur and teeth. He figured there only needed to be one survivor to get answers from.

Forming the chidori he ran after the other twin before he had a chance to limp out of the shock that Sakura had put him in due to her attack and rammed his fist through the male's chest. Two down….he turned to see Naruto punch the other male in the throat and he even winced slightly as could almost picture the esophagus collapsing under the force and killing the male. Sasuke was already standing over the dead female.

All in all a good days work.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no," he looked over and noticed that Rurano had moved towards a state of shock herself. He didn't look at Sakura when he opened his mouth. "Sakura will you give her something to calm her down or knock her out while I go have a talk with our guest." He didn't wait on an answer. Somehow he didn't think he was going to get one.

He walked over to the male and noticed the blood and sweat. "So missing nins from the Sand Village, why did you attack us?" he crossed his arms and stood in front of the wheezing figure. He couldn't hear Rurano anymore so he figured Sakura had knocked the woman out. "Better yet why did you ambush us?"

"We were just looking for something to bargain with." The male grumbled and Kakashi caught sight of Pakkun's eyes rolling to the back of the pugs head.

"So you figured that we were guarding something valuable?" Kakashi asked staring at the male with his sharingan. He waited for a few seconds before covering it and taking out a kunai. The man was telling the truth, these were just low life criminals. "How do you want to die?"

"So you know?" The man gave him a half smile. "Quick and easy thank you…"

"Are you ready?" Kakashi's voice had become a low whisper. He could feel his ex-students staring at him and feel Sakura's chakra as she began to heal. None of that mattered though as he stared at the male.

The man nodded and Kakashi rammed the kunai in his throat slashing as deeply as the weapon could. The dogs disappeared as he turned to look at the team. Sure enough Rurano was fast asleep and Sakura was healing the slash that Sasuke had received on his arm.

"Kakashi why'd you kill him?" Naruto looked at the male slightly wide eyed.

"If we took him to authorities they'd have killed him anyway." Kakashi sighed and moved to pick up his back pack that he'd thrown to the ground. "They would have tortured him first if we'd given him up because he and his brother over there are guilty of raping, torturing, and killing Kino, a wealthy family in the Sand village. The problem is that the Leaf found evidence proving their innocence. The Sand didn't buy it though, so by killing him I've saved him a lot of unnecessary grief."

He gave Naruto a tired smile with his eye as he saw understanding finally flash in his eyes. "We need to get to Sand after we bury the bodies."

"It'll take forever to dig the graves."

Kakashi sighed. Naruto was right, they really didn't have the time. Besides with Rurano passed out he could carry the woman and they'd finish the mission a hell of a lot faster. Pulling out a piece of paper he wrote a note before summoning his fastest dog. "Take this to the Hokaga and have her send someone to get rid of the bodies." The dog nodded behind his sunglasses and took off at an unholy speed pushing its own chakra to his paws.

"Are you ready?" He looked back at his team. Sasuke and Naruto's wounds were fine, but Sakura had yet to move to heal herself.

"Sakura do you plan on slowing us down?" Kakashi asked her pointedly. He decided that the best thing for him to do was not baby her, but treat her like he did the boys. Something he'd never done before. He'd always treated her with slightly gloved hands.

"Sorry," Sakura jumped. She probably hadn't even noticed the wounds, he thought bitterly. They were too much like cut marks.

"Alright, I have to carry our client so we can move at top speed. Naruto take my back pack."

"But I have her two bags!" Naruto voiced in opposition. "Then pass one over here," Sasuke commanded with a sigh. Soon the entire team was moving at top speed heading for the other village. Thank fully it wouldn't take them, but until sun down to reach the village.

Sakura was behind Kakashi as they moved, Naruto and Sasuke had decided to pull up the rear. It was about a quarter of the way left to go when she saw Rurano wake up. The woman didn't' move much, but she saw her legs shift and her head move deeper into Kakashi's back. For some odd reason the woman didn't want the others to know that she was awake.

It took Sakura all of two seconds to figure out why. What she didn't expect was a pain in her gut at seeing the sight.

When they finally arrived at the Sand Village it was already dark and Kakashi swore slightly. They'd have made better time if he'd picked up the pace a little, but the woman behind him snuggling her face into his shoulder blades had been distracting. They stopped at the first hotel they saw. Rurano had started to complain the moment they'd entered the village that she was tired.

They paid for three rooms. One for Sakura and Rurano, another for Sasuke and Naruto and the other for Kakashi himself.

The junin didn't stay long in the hotel, but headed for the bar closest to it, leaving the chunins to guard the woman.

Sakura could Sasuke and Naruto arguing about who got what bed from the other side of the wall, but she ignored it and focused on the food that she'd brought up to the room. It was her job with the client to make sure that the woman had what she wanted and needed. There wasn't anything else in the world that Sakura hated more.

Rurano squealed in delight and began eating the food the moment that Sakura handed her the bowl. They ate for a while in silence until Naruto finally decided that he'd take the bed next to the window instead of the bathroom and door.

"So Sakura," the pink haired female had to stop herself from tearing the woman's head off. Why did she think that this wasn't going to be a comfortable conversation? "Does your sensei have anyone special?"

Sakura nearly gagged. "What?" Her heart was leaping in her chest and threatening to come through her mouth. "Excuse me?"

"Does Kakashi have a girl friend?" Rurano rolled her eyes. "Or better yet a lover? You know someone who keeps his bed warm at night." The woman laughed.

Several images popped in Sakura's head, but she pushed them aside. Kakashi didn't have her. He'd raped her once, but what did he consider it? What did it matter?

"No," Sakura looked at the woman. "As far as I know Kakashi doesn't have anyone."

"Are you serious?" The woman squealed again and this time Sakura did wince at the pure wildness of it. "I bet he's got a lot of experience though, you know what I mean? Just looking at that long sexy body." The woman talked and Sakura couldn't stop the thoughts from roaming back to that night. "What do you think?"

"Hmm?" Sakura looked at her wide eyed.

"How good in bed do you think he is?" the woman was completely serious and all Sakura could do was force that smile on her face and shrug her shoulders.

"I don't know I've never thought of Kakashi-sensei that way."

"Oh well I beat he's good." The woman laid on her back and smirked. "I bet he's really good. What does he look like without his mask?"

Sakura blinked as an image of soft skin covered in thin hair came to her mind. She forced herself to calm down as she got up to get a change of clothes out of her bag. She didn't feel good. "I have no idea. He never shows us his face, he keeps it hidden for his own safety I think."

"Yeah," the woman laughed, "Safety from all the girls I guess."

Sakura nodded. "Maybe. I'm going to take a shower and get ready for bed. I'm tired." Moving quickly before the woman could think of another question to ask she jumped into the tiled room like it was a sort of sanctuary.

Taking a long shower and letting the hot water move down her body seemed to calm her down. She felt the tickle of the water down every curve and line that she'd been created with as it caressed her. She had to force herself out and change. The shower had taken away every thought that Rurano had managed to put in her head and she was satisfied. Moving to the bed she noticed Rurano was already asleep before she tucked herself in.

Kakashi had gotten back around three o'clock and moved by each room setting up traps as the others slept. He noticed that Naruto had somehow ended up on the floor snoring and Sasuke was sleeping soundly at the edge of his own near the male. It amazed him that someone as skilled as Sasuke could even sleep with that kind of sound.

In the girls room Rurano was asleep on her side while Sakura slept near the window. Kakashi watched her face as it was washed with tranquility. He opened the window slightly to set up traps just in case and caught the scent of her body freshly washed. The shampoo that she wore must've filled the entire room. It was calming.

He moved back to his own room with a sigh setting the alarm clock to wake up early enough to take the traps down before the others woke up and moved towards the bed to fall asleep.

**DREAM-M RATED. SAKURAXKAKASHI…..JUST FOR YOU GUYS. **

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Sweat had settled on the female's lower back as he ran his hands up her cheeks to her shoulder blades keeping the soft skin close and to his body. His lips had found her breasts and he suckled one like a baby while the woman in his arms arched her back to press her skin deeper into his.

"Kakashi-sensei," her voice was a purr as her fingers racked through his hair and tugged slightly. He felt his body shudder at the sound of his name coming from those lips as he bit and teased the skin between his teeth earning another moan. The woman leaning over his figure lowered herself so that she sat on his lap facing her. The pink hair he loved was tossed in every direction, but she looked so beautiful, as she stared at him with parted and swollen lips. He claimed those lips again and felt her legs wrap around him.

She moaned into the kiss begging and he obliged by shifting their positions so he laid above her before finally having to pull out of the kiss. He felt her smooth hands flow down the curve of his chest and pinch his own nibbles almost as if in experiment herself. He hissed when her nails dug into the soft tender skin before kissing her neck. He had the feeling that there would be a mark there later with satisfaction as he bit down and sucked the skin with a burning desire. He could feel her blood rush as continued to assault her.

"Kakashi, Kakashi-sensei," her voice pleaded. She lifted herself up and rubbed against him. "Please sensei." Her voice was breathless and it pushed him to his breaking point. He settled between her legs and lifted her right leg onto his hip before pushing slowly inside her warm, wet, and waiting body.

**

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DREAM SCENE OVER. (THOUGHT I'D GIVE YOU GUYS A TREAT : )

Kakashi jerked up as the alarm clock went off and slammed his hand down on the offending alarm. His body was near covered in sweat and he could smell her as if she'd been in the room with him right now. Peeling the blanket off to expose the lower half of his body, he growled at the tent his pajamas had.

It wasn't the first time.

Getting up with self loathing he walked to the bathroom to take a shower, his body was probably too far gone for a cold shower to have its desired effects. He could already see the wet marks on the pajamas themselves.

He'd just have to finish the job in the bathroom.

A guilty lead feeling was in his stomach with every step he took. "Sakura," the whisper was harsh. How could one girl, one night, one mission, bring him this low?

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Okay the scene was totally un planned and I got called away about five times while I was writing it….so blah. Anyway the plot is thickening. Sakura's getting loco again, Rurano has her eyes set on Kakashi, Kakashi is having naughty dreams about a certain pink haired female, and the boys are still clueless.

Oh and I can promise that twist number one is coming up really really soon. (like maybe next chapter soon-depends on how much I decide to write)

Cookie to whoever can figure it out. Thanks for the reviews guys (over 6,000 words!!!!)


	6. Chapter Six

**********Really good suprise guys! this is 2 CHAPTERS INSTEAD OF 1 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*********************************

*throws hands up in surrender* Okay JaJar41 I updated. No need to kill me now. XD *sweatdrop* I was hoping that this story would get some good reviews, but I didn't think they would be that passionate. Sorry for the wait…..I lost my jump drive with the stories on it and was close to suicide….seriously.

Hey, I've got a lot of reviews wanting Tsunade to tell Sakura the truth. Apparently Kakashi's self sacrificing isn't making it with a lot of you. Don't worry though countdown on that climatic event has already started-though u might have wished it came out of Tsunade's mouth.

_**Important Note:**_** I understand that the idea of male rape is not very common (and I mean in the real world (not that it doesn't happen it just tends to be pushed aside-it's a social negative in my opinion) not in the world of fanfiction) Anyway, there's a point later in the story when Kakashi ends up in a tight position. He can be either tortured w/o the rape or with rape. I know it's a weird question, but I know how the story is going to play out, I just wanted to give u a chance to put in your wants and opinion. Just leave it in a review how you feel about it. I'm leaving it open b/c I don't want to offend anyone….the final decision is still mine though so don't jump me if I do the opposite of what you wanted. Those who have more than one review or seniority with the story (been reading since first few chapters basically) will have a greater affect on what I do. Their opinion matters more. Anyway, just let me know. It's not a contest or anything, I'm just unsure of how I want to do this (later later chapters) and am hoping this will help in my decision making. **

Story Summary: Chapter One

Chapter Rating: M (I feel sorry for the wait so I went ahead and added the other chapter to this one to make it longer. So the gruesome crap I had planned for the next chapter will happen in this chapter. I bet you guys are happy. ;) OH and there will be a scene between the two of them as I promised, but it might not be exactly what you were hoping for. )

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The Silence Before the Storm: Sakura's Fall

Sakura woke up with ease around eight that morning. At first she'd thought that she'd overslept and started to panic when she didn't see Rurano in her own bed, but she calmed down when she heard Naruto coming down the hallway. He was having an argument with Sasuke again over the best ramen types. She had no idea why, but it usually didn't' matter seeing as Sasuke didn't argue back half of the time. It was amazing that Naruto never picked up on that fact.

They knocked at the door she told them to give her a second. Scrambling up she pulled out her clothes and threw them on. She glanced at the mirror and was horrified. Her hair was sticking up on ends. There was another knock along with Naruto's voice and she told them to hang on again. There was no way she was answering that door with Sasuke out there looking like she'd stuck her finger in an electric outlet.

Besides the giggle from Rurano outside told her she had plenty of time. The woman must've been enjoying herself and that meant that Kakashi was with them. She paused as the hair brush ran through her hair in slight fear. She was proud of herself for not having a harsh reaction to the male, but he still put her on edge.

And after he'd had to save her yesterday too. That wasn't good. She glared at herself in the mirror. How could she be so weak?

"Sakura come on. We want to go see Gaara and we can't until Rurano gets her things!" Naruto's voice was loud and obnoxious. She couldn't help the smile that came to her lips as she heard him get slapped across the head. She had a feeling it was Sasuke.

"I'm coming Naruto!" She ran the brush through her hair one more time. Why had they not woken her up anyway? Why let her sleep this long?

She opened the door feel backwards as Naruto fell on top of her. Apparently he'd been leaning against the door trying to force his way in. Sakura felt her back stiffen at the weight and a blush creep to her cheeks. His face had landed right on her chest. She trembled slightly trying to move. Normal Sakura would have punched him off. What was her problem?

"Eh?" Naruto pushed himself up on his hands with his body hovering over hers. "Oh Sakura…" His voice trailed off as a hot blush crept to his cheeks. He seemed frozen in place.

"Dobe," Sasuke's foot came out of now where and kicked Naruto's head making the boy fall off of her. Sakura was grateful as she started to breath again and glanced his way. He was standing with his arms crossed and his eyes closed looking annoyed, but there was a faint blush beneath his collar.

"Well Sakura I didn't know you were taken."

The statement Naruto was about to throw at Sasuke in anger died in his mouth as he stared at the woman in shock. Rurano looked full of herself as she leaned against Kakashi much like a lover would. Kakashi was too busy reading his book to notice. It seemed he hadn't noticed anything.

"Well I…I mean….we…" Naruto started to stutter and Sakura felt angry. He wasn't going to deny that there was nothing between them even though it was the truth. He'd told his genin friends that they were dating. Pulling herself up she glared at the woman as she dusted herself off. "We aren't anything."

She turned around quickly and walked back to into the room.

"Of course you aren't," Rurano chuckled. Sakura decided that the woman could fuck off for all she cared as the woman walked by her and into the room. Naruto and Sasuke followed. Kakashi stopped right behind her. She didn't have to turn around to know that he was there. She could feel the heat of his body and smell his scent in her nose.

He didn't look up as he knew his breath on her neck. She stiffened holding back a cry as he felt his cold skin on her own.

"You missed a strand."

His voice was low as he ran his finger down an unruly strand of pink hair making it bend back into her normal locks.

She swore her heart missed a beat, but she ignored it and started to pack what little she'd gotten out back in her bag. They were leaving and heading out to deposit Rurano and see Gaara again. Her stomach was already in knots and she wondered how frazzled her nerves would be by the time they got back home. Kakashi was enough. Rurano only added to it. And Gaara…was still a figment of her nightmares.

She turned and walked into the bathroom determined to get away. The thought of what had happened between the sand and leaf was too much and she didn't want the others to see her. She had to take a second and compose herself.

Kakashi grinded his teeth together behind the mask as he took his place leaning against the wall staring at the book in his hand without reading a single word. He'd tired to distract himself the entire morning as he coaxed Rurano out of the room to leave Sakura sleeping. It hadn't been hard. He knew the woman liked him, but he didn't feel anything towards her. Sure he was called a pervert, but he didn't make blank point statements. Especially to minors like the woman had on the way up here.

They'd eaten in almost silence once you got past Naruto and Sasuke's arguing and Rurano's constant compliments. He had missed Sakura deeply as he ate wanting some form of intelligent conversation, but he couldn't afford to trust himself around her. After that dream he'd had last night it had taken longer in the shower to rid himself of the problem. It had been so real and he felt sickened by himself.

Maybe the village was right, maybe the books were finally getting to him.

And then he had to touch her. The strand of hair staring a back at him as it curled away from her body was distracting as all hell. All he could think about was her thrown away locks as she stared up at him. The way it smelled when he buried himself into the crook of her neck.

He closed his mind momentarily to rid himself of the thoughts. He'd promised himself that he wouldn't touch her and he had. It had been a simple caress and yet she was back hiding. Trying to make sure that the others didn't notice.

"Kakashi lets go!"

Kakashi opened his eyes and saw Naruto at the door with the others. They were all packed and ready to leave. He'd been too much in a daze. He saw Sasuke raise an eyebrow at him in suspicion.

"Ah Naruto," Kakashi placed a hand to the back of his head. "You know I can't be on time." He gave a slight laugh as they snorted and started to complain about his behavior to Rurano. Sakura was silent as they walked out of the village and headed toward the

Getting rid of that woman was the best thing that could have happened to Sakura the entire day. She couldn't help but smirk as she watched the woman try and give Kakashi her address over and over. Begging him to see her again. She had to give him credit though, Kakashi took it like a gentleman would and politely promised to do so taking what she gave him. As soon as they were walking up the stairs of the Kazikage's mansion to find Gaara, she saw him drop the paper into a trash bin. None of the other boys noticed as Naruto continued to talk about how cool and hot she'd been.

Now that was getting on her nerves. She was about to turn around and tell him something when Sasuke beat her to it mentioning Gaara. Immediately the blonde forgot about Rurano to everyone's relief and started talking about seeing his friend and his siblings.

Temari met them at the top of the stairs with Kankuro. She smirked coming towards them and stopping Naruto as the boy tried to run past her. "Hold it now, Gaara is in a meeting right now with some very important people."

"Yeah," Kankuro jumped in poking the blonde in the chest and almost sending him reeling backwards. "So no squirts allowed."

"Squirt?!" Naruto screamed and pulled back his fist. "I'll show you a squirt."

"Naruto," Sakura heard her voice leave her in exasperation. Some things never changed. She watched as Kankuro got ready to fight the male back when Kakashi broke in.

"Do you know where the little ninja room is?" His eye smile was enough to make everyone stare at the junin in astonishment. They couldn't believe what they'd heard the deadly killer ask. The fight was forgotten as Naruto stared at Kakashi dumbstruck. The little ninja room?

"Uh," Temari put her hands on her hips and turned aside. "Down the hall on your right. You can't miss it."

"Bah," Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "Yosh." He turned and pulled out his book walking away from them. The teenagers watched the grown man leave.

"He better not do anything in the bathroom," Kankuro spoke loudly enough for Sasuke to hear. The black haired male snorted in agreement. It was lost on the others.

"Ah," Naruto threw his hands behind his head cradling it as he stared at the puppet master. "So how long is Gaara going to be?" Naruto asked forgetting about his fight. Honestly Sakura was sure the male had a one track mind. She wondered how he'd even gotten through the academy sometimes.

Just as she was about to say something about his manners the door opened and several men walked out. A few stopped to pause at the Leaf Ninja, and more pointedly Naruto and Sasuke, but they didn't say anything. Naruto was almost oblivious and the last Uchiha still on the good side ignored them sparing only a few glares. When Gaara finally appeared at the door he was dressed in his junin uniform. And it sent Naruto spouting off with how unfair though cool it was that the male had reached that level before him. The chunin was flabbergasted and demanded to know when the next junin exams in his own village were going to start and gave a speech about how well he was going to do.

Sakura had stopped paying attention a while ago and merely watched as even Sasuke spoke a few words in the conversation to the sand ninja. Her head felt empty and her body hollow. She just didn't care anymore it seemed. Maybe it had to do with being so close to Kakashi?

Kakashi showed up briefly later and Sakura was relieved when he stated he had other business. She like Naruto accused him of going off to go see that woman, but he just laughed and shook his head as he disappeared. They spent the afternoon challenging each other. Kankuro couldn't keep his mouth shut and Naruto wanted to know were he stood next to Gaara. Sakura thought it was a bunch of mess. They spent their entire life fighting and now the boys couldn't take a break. When she told this to Temari she had hoped that the female ninja would see it her way. That was quickly a mistake because the blonde wanted to fight her and badly. She could see it in her eyes long before she opened her mouth.

"Come on are you that chicken?" Temari voiced standing up with her large fan. "I remember your fight at the chunin exams and it was pathetic. How could you tie?"

"What?" Naruto stood up angry as Sakura sat there shocked.

"Temari," Gaara's deep voice was a light whisper in the wind. Temari hesitated, but swallowed it. "Aw I'm not going to hurt her. I just want to see what Tsunade sees because after what I saw I don't see it. How does the top female ninja pick something like you?"

"Watch what you say!" Naruto growled. "If you want a fight I'll give you one." Sakura watched as he moved in front of her and then turned towards Temari's smiling face. There was only one way to satisfy her and end this so she grabbed Naruto and watched the look of surprise cross his face.

"I'll fight her." She stared at the smiling blonde hard and noticed Konkuro's raised eyebrow. He was as surprised as Sakura was about herself. Temari grinned harder, "Then lets go."

The fight took place at the Sand Village's training grounds. There was more forestry than Sakura that was possible in the humid and dry climate. They faced each other and her stomach started to turn. Why was she doing this? She wasn't one to fight just to be fighting and to be honest it wasn't her forte. She knew it, Naruto and Sasuke knew it, Tsunade knew it and so did Kakashi. That's why everyone was saving her.

She shook her head and tried to calm down. It didn't matter what she'd done to get in this situation, because she was in it know and that was all there was to it. If she backed away now she would be a coward.

Temari wasted no time as she pulled out the first circle of her fan and gave it a wave. Sakura wasn't surprised because she'd done the same thing before so she jumped up and ran the length of a tree to escape the gust of wind. Doing a back flip she fell back and flung three kunai at the blonde. Temari answered with another gust.

"Didn't you learn anything?" Temari's voice was chastising. "Long distance attacks don't work."

"I know that," Sakura thought angry. She knew well enough from Ten Ten's fight with the woman that it was useless to use weapons. You had to get close and personal. Unfortunately she was not a Nara. Another gust came and this time Sakura took the hit knowing there was no way she was going to get out of the way fast enough. The wind blew her off her feet and she hit her back on one of the trees.

She heard Naruto's cry and Konkuro's chuckle. Apparently the purple painted ninja thought it was funny. Well he could laugh it up.

Temari didn't waste any time and threw a star at the fallen konochi causing Sakura to wake up and use a replacement jutsu. Picking up speed she got close to the other girl, but Temari was quick enough to evade. "One more and you're out." The blonde spoke laughingly as she moved her fan to emphasis her words.

Sakura shook her head, but refused to say anything back at the girl. Knowing the difference between the two of them she was probably right. She pulled out another kunai and prepared herself for the onslaught that was sure to come.

Kakashi had been keeping an eye out on his team from a distance the entire morning with a new novel against his face. After what had happened between him and Jiraiya at the bar he couldn't bring himself to read the risky novels that his students were so use to seeing him read. Besides last he heard Jiraiya was still mad at him for that "sucker punch" as he called it.

The book Kakashi had instead was a pretty interesting novel about a young adolescent male dealing with his parents. So far so good. There wasn't any mention of romance or other and for that he was grateful for because he didn't need a reminder of what he'd done. When Sakura had started the battle with Temari she'd surprised him. He stood invisible to their eyes in one of the trees watching closely. The only one who seemed to know that the junin was even there was Gaara and surprisingly enough he hadn't told anyone.

Kakashi had to give it to the male, he was good.

"She's improving," Kakashi thought with a short of bitter pride. He was happy that she had grown, but it hadn't been by his hands. She was Tsunade's student. He lost her months ago. Kakashi was slightly surprised at how long it had been since the incident. Months. A few more and it would be an entire year and yet it felt as if he'd done it to her yesterday. As if he'd taken her innocence when she cried beneath him than moved her like a doll as he cleaned her. It still felt like a kunai in his gut that twisted every time the wind picked up a strand of pink hair or he caught a glance of her eyes.

He leaned against the tree harder and pinched the bridge of his nose having to stop his thoughts. He'd closed his eyes for a mere second when a shrill scream of pain ran through the air.

Sakura grasped her left arm with her right and bit down the yell she'd let loose from her lips. She had expected the wind when Temari waved her fan, but she hadn't expected it to be full of dirt. Small rocks came into contact with her arm when she'd tried to dodge tearing into the clothing and ripping at the scars that marked her skin. Her cuts were reopening and the sand was embedded within the flesh.

Naruto yelled and Kankuro had to hold him back while Sasuke flinched behind her wanting to jump in and rescue their team mate. Sakura saw them from the corner of her eye and that cut her deeper than any steel ever could. They didn't think she could do this. All her life she'd been at the bottom when it came to her team in skill and even now she couldn't hold her own ground and it hurt. They had grown so much and she hadn't even been able to move past anything.

"Is that all you've got?"Temari asked smugly from a tree branch as the fan was out completely by her side. The sand nin was through with playing around and she even had the nerve to yawn in her hand. Biting her inner lip Sakura could taste blood in her mouth. There was no way she was going to back down from this fight. She wasn't going to lose this thing. She had to do this to prove something to herself, prove that she was stronger now. That no ninja would ever take advantage of her again.

No one would ever take advantage. The thought sat heavily on her heart and she realized that she needed this. She'd been dominated without the chance to dominate another. She'd been ripped apart and now she was going to be ripped apart again.

"No. Not by a long shot blondie," Sakura spat. She pulled at her glove on her arm to emphasis her point. If the other female honestly thought that the only thing she had learned from Tsunade was her medical jutsu she was wrong. There was a reason no one ever crossed the female sanin.

She reared back and slammed her fist into the tree where Temari nested. The wood shattered beneath her knuckles and gave a loud audible crack as splinters flew. She heard Naruto curse and the others intakes of breath and awe, but her eyes were on Temari. Shocked the woman fell to the ground and tried to pull her fan in front of her in a failed attempt to block Sakura's attack. The Leaf nin's fist tore through the fan and landed catching the other on her chin. She flew several feet away and laid passed out near her brother's feet.

"Sakura you did it!!!!" Naruto yelled running and grabbing her from behind. Immediately Sakura flinched and threw the other boy off sending him to the ground. She apologized while Konkuro went to help his sister. A feeling of power and warmth ran through her veins. She'd done it. Pride swelled in her chest along with other emotions that she couldn't place.

It fell away when a silver haired ninja appeared clapping as he walked down the path towards his students. "That was quite a show." He voiced noticing the look Gaara was giving him.

"We're you spying?" The Uchiha asked demanding to know if he'd missed his sensei. Always eager to please Kakashi retorted with a lie and told him no so Sasuke wouldn't take it that hard. And he didn't want Sasuke to push himself too hard the next time they had a practice.

"I was walking by when I heard this tree fall and thought I'd take a look." He knew immediately that Sasuke had seen through the lies.

He walked over to Sakura and saw the look in her eyes as he glanced down her arm. He knew that the boys would just think they were battle wounds caused by the rocks, but he knew the truth. And it twisted in his gut. Pulling out gauze he took a step towards her and saw the flinch. It was almost unnoticeable, but it was there. Against himself he held out the bandages to her. "Medical practice right?"

He eye smiled refusing to see the look on her face. "I came to tell you that we need to go. It'll be nightfall by the time we get back to the village and I have a report to fill out." He ignored Naruto's protest about not getting his chance to fight Gaara and waited a while before they actually went back to the hotel to get their things.

Other than Sasuke and Naruto's bickering it was a quiet trip home.

When they got to the village Kakashi couldn't help but notice the winds change that brought Sakura's scent right under his sensitive nose. There was no getting away from it. Reminding him of the dream he'd had last night Kakashi shuddered before waving to the others and heading off to the bar. Like he predicted it was almost nine o'clock, but it was going to be a long night.

When he got there Kakashi immediately started out with the strong stuff and stayed to himself at the very back. He didn't want anyone to see him as he drowned out his problems and tired to straighten himself out. The whole situation with Sakura was getting ridicules. It wouldn't have been so bad if last night was the only dream.

It was really one in many.

Kakashi couldn't blame it on his porn when he dreamt of the girl in various positions. She was always calling out his name as he lost himself in her with animalistic greed that seemed to take him over. Some of the dreams she came to him willingly and sometimes he relived that night taking her as she sobbed beneath him.

And it all felt so real.

He'd wake up in the morning with a hard on and would have to take care of it himself. The lower women of the village and neighboring communities were blending together when he slept with them now too. Everyone seemed to remind him of the pink haired girl and it was absolutely pathetic. It made it seem as if he had some childish crush on her or something.

The last thought sent him back to the bar as he grabbed another two glasses of liquor.

Disgusting. She was his student, well had been her student, and he was several years her senior. Feelings like this made him sure that he was a dirty old man. Hell he was worse than Jiraiya because at least he fantasized _women_ and not _girls._

Drowning in his sorrow Kakashi continued to drink when a much needed distraction came to get his mind off of the female. Yamato, a man he'd mentored in ANBU, came and sat with him offering to buy the man a couple more drinks when Kakashi mentioned it. He was getting drunk, but the silver haired ninja much to the black eyed male across from him didn't care.

Sakura walked down the street at eleven that night. The hospital had called needing some extra hands and she was glad to go and help. A couple of other nurses had the flu that seemed to be going around and Sakura needed the distraction. She told her mother she wasn't sure what time she would be home so she asked her parents not to wait up for her. She was a ninja after all so they agreed. Who could better take care of their daughter then the young girl herself?

Sakura was relieved earlier than expected though when Shizune and others came with more help. The woman was a life saver going the extra mile knowing that Sakura had just come back from a mission in Sand. The pink haired woman was exhausted.

"Hey you, you're one of Kakashi's students aren't you?"

Sakura turned towards the voice with a raised eyebrow and caught sight of her ex- sensei leaning on the handsome figure of another man. Fear sparked over her that something had happened to Kakashi when he spoke again. "I need someone to take him home. I've got to head over to the Hokagas."

"What happened?" Sakura asked before she could stop herself. She hadn't even really registered the question.

"Oh he's just drunk." The man smiled. "I'd take him home myself, but I don't have the time. You are one of his students right? I remember him talking about a pink haired genin on his team."

Sakura nodded. "Yeah." She glanced between the two men with unease growing in her stomach. Kakashi looked like he could barely stand. His eyes were closed and the other was having to hold him up by his waist.

Before she could say anything the other man thanked her and placed Kakashi on her side with ease before waving and jumping off onto the buildings. Sakura stared there in horror as she tried to balance the other mans weight. She hadn't been this close to him in a while and the setting sent goosebumps down her body.

The thought to end it all there with the helpless man entered her mind and she wondered if it would be okay to leave him there. Kakashi groaned and he leaned further on her. She couldn't leave him. As much as she wanted to get away from Kakashi she couldn't have the only other sharingan wielder helpless on the street.

Throwing his arm over her shoulder and a hand around his waist she drug the male as he stumbled beside her towards his home.

Kakashi knew this was a dream. He could smell her and feel a warm small body beside him. He grinned as he felt a hand going into his pocket and jingling his keys. He was to tired of fighting his unconscious wants. Giving in he grabbed her wrist and stood up straight pushing her against the wall near his door. So they were outside huh? That wouldn't do. He couldn't have anyone seeing the two of them outside together.

He pressed his body against hers and felt her shudder as he opened his door. His nose ran down the side of her face and Sakura gasped for breath. He brought his hand up and grabbed her by the shoulder and pushed her inside before shutting and locking the door behind him.

She smelled so sweet, like the flowers in bloom and her skin was warm to his touch. He pulled her close against him, yanked off his mask and claimed her lips with his.

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( Okay here's that little smut scene I promised. Oh and it's not that bad….in fact that's probably why you'll get mad at me later…..XD)

Sakura was frozen in fear. She let him move her like a doll unable to comprehend what was going on until his lips hit hers. He was demanding and forceful as he kept her body close to his to the point that she could feel every curve of his hip through his pants. Her hands went up and she tried to push him off, but he grabbed her and pulled back to tsk in her face like she was a child.

"Naruto and Sasuke," he chuckled.

She stopped and closed her eyes as he began to nibble at her throat. His stance was wobbly and he fell down on top of her putting both of them on the floor. Sakura groaned in pain from the floor and weight. His breath was heavy with alcohol that she could smell from every pore as he continued to touch her.

Tears swelled up in her eyes and fell as her breathing quickened. He didn't pay attention to her face or neck as his hands tried to undo her shirt clumsily. Sakura felt odd. As if she was floating. The cool air on her skin made her tense, but she didn't do anything. She was just watching it happen as he finally got her shirts over breasts.

He didn't even try to undo her bra, but grasped her through the cups and began attacking the exposed cleavage. She could fell his tongue glide across her skin as his hips began to move up and down against her.

"Sakura."

As if awakening from a dream the sound of her name brought her back to reality. She came back with a stuttering breath. He continued to kiss her chest as his hands ran up and down her sides. Shaking she looked away as his mouth descended between her two breasts and to her stomach.

She was twitching as his hands began to pull down her pants.

"Move Sakura," she thought to herself violently. Her eyes wide with fear as she watched his face. She watched and couldn't bring herself to move. Her pants were off and she forced herself to close her eyes. She didn't want to see him. She didn't want to watch him invade her again.

The fall of the zipper never came.

Kakashi stared at the woman in front of his nose. Her soft petals clenching from the cold. Lazily he used his tongue to run up the side of her pink curls. He could see the body tense in front of him from the contact and hear a soft intake of breath.

She sound so beautiful that he wanted to hear more.

Opening his mouth he bit her pink curls and pulled back teasingly watching as her body moved. He fell lower and rubbed her with his nose before finding her entrance and sticking his tongue into the sweet hot flesh. Her body bucked up at the intrusion and he heard a moan.

It felt so good to know that he was pleasing her that he closed his eyes taking in the moment and passed out.

**(Ready to kill me now……)**

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Sakura waited for him to make another move to scared to realize that he stopped. What seemed hours was seconds before she finally worked up the courage to see what he was doing. She moved back and saw the male laid out on the floor and almost sobbed in relief.

He was passed out.

Moaning in his sleep Sakura paused and watched as his breathing evened back out. Slowly she put on her clothes and stood up. Would he get mad that she'd left? Or that she left him on the floor? She took breaths calming herself down and found that she was looking at the situation with no emotion.

She just acted.

Picking Kakashi up as best she could she drug the male into his bedroom and put him on his bed. Hopefully he would think he'd come home and passed out. She knew he was drunk and she prayed that any part of the night dealing with her would not be remembered in the morning.

Quietly walking out the door she ran home. It was dark and cold when she stepped through the door and walked up the stairs to her bedroom.

Just like her heart as she laid down and stared at her ceiling detached from the world.

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A Ninja's Heart: Sakura's Decision

Sakura got up in the morning feeling groggy and sleepy. She stretched feeling slightly relaxed before she felt her stomach turn. Lately it had been giving her a problem, though she wasn't exactly sure why. It could have been a number of things.

She sat up when last night hit her hard. All of a sudden she could feel him and taste him kissing her. Her stomach did another flip and this time she ran into the bathroom and vomited in the toilet. She stayed there for fifteen minutes until she was sure that she was completely done. She didn't feel so bad when she flushed it and stood. Taking her cup she rinsed her mouth of the awful taste and put it back down. Her hand brushed the kunai and she stopped.

Her eyes stared at the object like someone staring at an idol. It was a delicate piece of metal. That was all it was and yet it could bring her such relief.

"Cut please," her inner self was almost begging through the tears that ran down its face. "I can't handle it anymore. I can't. He's not going to leave you alone. All you have to do is cut a little deeper. Just stay home and cut a little deeper. That's it. You could end it all. It hurts make it stop hurting."

With nervous hands she gripped the kunai and felt its cool kiss. It was such a relief. She stared at it fascinated this time at the power it held and at what it could do as she moved it over her wrist.

She was right. All it would take would be one quick slice. End it all. End the pain, the suffering, the humiliation she felt. It could all end right here in her home. Right now it could just end. No one would know and no one would see it coming.

The blade was touching her wrist and ready to move in an upward motion.

It would be so easy.

"Stop it," She spoke aloud and threw the kunai to the ground. She held her head for a moment unable to look at her own reflection. She'd sunken that low. "I got to go to work." Sakura knew that she needed to get to the hospital, needed to get busy, needed to feel normal. She needed something. Splashing water on her face she went into her bedroom to get dressed.

Kakashi woke up around eleven with one of the worst hangovers he'd had in a while. The man was lying in bed trying to hide from the sun when he gave up and just rolled out to get dressed. He didn't bother with his uniform knowing that he'd have all day off was a relief in itself. He didn't think he could deal with anyone. After he was dressed he took an aspirin and ate a few slices of bread to settle his stomach.

"What a night," he muttered as he sat the coffee on to brew. He'd been beyond drunk. Enough that he didn't have any of his senses, a dangerous thing when it came to being a ninja, "Anybody could have picked me off." He didn't remember anything beyond the bar. Just a warm smell. A familiar warm smell all around him.

Bored he summoned Pakkun and set out food for the dog while he went to take a long hot shower. He got out, dried off, and got dressed again, this time in fresher clothing. He wanted to feel clean.

He never looked at the waste basket as he went into the den and sat on the couch propping his feet on the table and sipping his coffee. It wasn't long before Pakkun joined him sleeping on the couch beside him as he started to read an old book.

Today wasn't going to be so bad.

Sakura gave the woman a smile, the one she'd practiced so many times, as the pregnant ninja sat on the examiners table. "It should only take a minute for Dr. Hikaru to get here."

"Thanks Sakura," the woman gave her a more genuine smile showing off her childish dimples as she rubbed the bulge that had grown within her stomach. "I can't wait for the baby to come." She laughed a little, "Though I don't know what I'm going to do when she does. Having a family isn't something I thought of before."

Sakura gave her a smile feeling slightly uncomfortable, but the woman seemed to want to talk and who was she to just walk out the door. There was nothing she needed to do and her comfort would only lead to other thoughts. Other feelings. And other urges.

"What do you mean?" She asked as she began to straighten up the room preparing it for her doctor.

"Well, the baby's going to need someone. And Daisuke is not going to give up his job patrolling the gate and you know how dangerous that can be." The woman sighed, "If I go back into the field it'll just increase her chances of becoming an orphan. I don't want to do that. We have enough of those already."

Sakura paused as the woman's dilemma caught her interest. "What do you plan to do about it?"

"I guess I'll just have to stop for a little while." She sighed and leaned back. "I hate to do it. I always thought that being a leaf ninja was my goal in life, but now I'm not sure. Being a mom is very tempting. " She laughed. "I don't even think about kids, all I know is that we had sex one night and I didn't have my period for a while. And then bam. I took a few tests, they came back positive and now I'm not sure what I'd do if I wasn't."

Sakura paused. Sex. After last night that word was still close to mind. As far as having her period…..when was the last time she needed to buy sanitary napkins? That was several months ago. A little before Kakashi had raped her the first time. She should have had her period at least twice in that time.

She felt sick all of a sudden and placed her hand on her stomach. "I'm sorry," she looked at the woman and gave her a smile. "Excuse me." She found the nearest nurse and threw her into the room with the woman before rushing down the hall and out the door. Her mind was in a rush as she moved towards a store. She changed using a henage jutsu and walked in with a hazy expression.

She grabbed seven.

She wanted to be sure. She felt like crying as she snuck home. There was no way that she was. She couldn't be. Her stomach clenched as she shut her bathroom door and began to do each test one by one.

When she was done she found her hands shaking. She walked over to the mirror and splashed her face with ice cold water. She'd been sweating. She took deep breaths as she waited for the specified time. Using her training Sakura tossed out the rest of the world and focused on one point over and over. She repeated the numbers several times. One two three. One two three.

She didn't want to see them until they were all done. The things were all reliable weren't they? She checked the box. She'd gotten the most expensive kind. They were 99% accurate. They had to be. She couldn't risk seeing a doctor about this.

"Please don't be blue. I can't handle it. Please don't be blue," she voiced allowed. She closed her eyes before looking at the first one. No color.

She chuckled feeling stupid. Why was she doing this again? Everything was completely fine. She shook her head before she looked at the next one.

And the next.

One by one she felt her heart sink and she forgot to breath. Six out of seven were blue.

She was pregnant.

Hollow. She felt completely hollow despite knowing something different. All of a sudden her stomach lurched and she threw herself to the toilet as she vomited. Pulling back she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as another went to wipe her forehead.

"What am I going to do?" She felt stupid for asking that. Even stupider for voicing it aloud, but there was nothing that she could do.

Her hand as if on its own went down to her pouch fingering one of her kunai. Her mother. What would her mother say? And her father. She couldn't even imagine the look on his face when he found out that his only daughter had disgraced him and his family name, that she'd thrown away their reputation. And soiled any chance of a happy marriage with their blessings.

Would they kick her out the house?

She could live on her own. Hell if Naruto could pull it off than she could too. She could survive.

What sent a could shiver through her body was the idea that they wouldn't talk to her anymore. That they'd sign her off completely. Her father was strict and it had been all that she could do to keep him happy and proud of her, especially since he'd wanted a boy instead of a girl. That didn't they didn't love each other. She'd loved helping her mother growing up in the kitchen and being daddy's little girl in the back yard. She didn't want to lose that. She didn't think she could lose her family.

"Then what are you going to do?" Her inner voice was stronger than ever. It mentioned the one word that seemed to be her only salvation. "Abort it. If you care about them you'll get an abortion."

That was the first time her inner self and sent her something with such calm conviction that it startled her. Kill it. No one would have to know. Her parents wouldn't think that anything was up. The village would still think she was good Sakura and then Kakashi….that was right. This was his child. It was his fault. She was pregnant with her teachers child.

That idea sent her to the toilet again and she continued to spit up her stomach acid. She'd slept with her teacher. He was older than her and she'd slept with him. Out of wedlock. Out of anything. Was he her father's age? She didn't even know. Feeling weak she sat down on the cold tiles of the floor and ran a hand down her face. That was something else she hadn't thought about.

What if Kakashi found out? Would he be mad? Surely he would demand that she get rid of the child, of course he might even kill her too. A hand came to her throat and she squeezed it lightly. As many times as she'd dreamed of dying and held a kuani to her throat the idea sent her stomach rolling. Dying. She wasn't ready to die. She wanted to be, but she wasn't. It scared her.

And what about Naruto and the others? Ino? Sasuke? What would they think? That she'd whored her self away if they found out? How would she explain it? And Tsunade? What about her?

There was no choice. She had to get an abortion. Plenty of women where doing it nowadays right? Besides she'd always felt it was the woman's decision anyway, especially in cases such as this.

Getting up with her plan Sakura started breathing heavily. Now that she had an idea of what to do it made sense. She could do this. She could end it all like it never happened.

She walked back into her bedroom trying to feel normal. She could survive this. No one would have to know. Sitting on her bed she cried as she continued to lie to herself. Of course someone would know. She would always know. And who could she get to do this anyway? Everyone at the hospital knew about her. They were all friends. There was no way she could get it done without Tsunade finding out or someone else at the hospital. Someone had to do the operation. And the baby was a few months old now. Would they even do it now? She had no idea. Pregnancy was not something she looked into and it wasn't going to be her field when she became a certified Medic Nin anyway. Doctors worked with that stuff. Not her.

She sat up and ran a hand through her pink hair. There was no way that she could do it without causing harm to herself. She wasn't trained to do this. Besides you had to fill out a form didn't you? Who the dad was or something? Maybe? She wasn't sure. How was she going to explain that she was pregnant before her sixteenth birthday? And they'd know it was months ago when she'd conceived they would ask questions. She couldn't tell them about Kakashi. She couldn't do that. He would take it out on the others and by now she was sure he was crazy. There was no telling what someone with his capabilities would be able to pull off if he found out someone knew what he did to his only female student.

Besides what if they took the dna from the baby and did a test? What if they found out it was Kakashi? That was just as bad as telling wasn't it? The man had been in ANBU, she'd seen the tattoo. There was no telling what he would do. He could snap and hurt others. Kill others and it would be all her fault.

That stopped her cold. If anyone found out and he hurt anyone it would be her fault. She was risking the entire village if she did anything.

She sat up and felt a headach coming on. There was nothing that she could do. If she aborted the baby someone would find out. And if she had the baby she would hurt her parents and there was no doubt that either them or Tsunade would demand a dna test. She stood up and put on her shoes feeling needy. She needed to talk to someone. She needed someone to understand. Someone she could trust.

One name came to mind, Ino.

The girl was her friend despite their rivalry for Sasuke. They still talked every time she went into the flower shop and they had a sort of understanding. Besides Ino was closer to her then any of the other girls that had been at the academy or in the village. She'd helped her out before when they were little. There was a connection between the two. She would understand. She would help her and give a solution. I mean if they were friends enough for Sakura to get her birth control pills at the office then surely she would help. Besides Sakura had given up on Sasuke. She wouldn't let him have something that was spoiled, something that he didn't deserve. She would even be happy to help Ino get with him now.

She walked down the street aware that people were staring at the tear marks on her face and the way her hair was on ends. She didn't care. She continued to walk as fast as she could without causing any more attention and rounded the corner to Ino's shop. A wave of hope fell over her and sent a warm blanket around her as she saw her salvation in front of her.

"Ino," She whispered and walked to the door. She pulled on the shop door, but it didn't budge. Sakura narrowed her eyes confused. The shop was open it was supposed to be. Looking inside she saw the lights on and Ino at the counter with a male in a blue shirt and black hair spiked up. The blonde looked around his shoulders at the door and the male turned his head and stared at her with onyx eyes. Both looked shocked.

Both looked guilty.

Tearing herself away from the scene Sakura ran down the street pushing a man who was in her way aside. She ran without a though as she heard Ino and the males voice come from behind her calling her to stop. Ino seemed frantic.

Sakura ran further pushing chakra into her feet and gained speed. After all she had the best chakra control out of team seven.

She ran and cut across the village and into the training fields. They were behind her and followed her into the forest, but she was hidden from their views. Using what skills she had Sakura hid from her ex friend and her team mate.

"Sasuke we have to find her." She heard Ino's voice. "She wasn't supposed to find out like this. Sakura's got to be devastated."

"I know," his hard low voice came out from underneath the tree that Sakura was hidden in. "Maybe we should give her some time." He sighed, "She'll need to cool off." Sakura almost snorted allowed. Cool off. The two of them were at her shop with the doors locked talking to each other and probably doing much more. What did she need to cool down about? They had gotten together.

"No you don't understand we have to find her," Ino broke in desperately. She could almost see the blonde pulling his arm closer to her and begging him with her big blue eyes. It made her sick.

"No you don't," she thought. "No you don't. I know what I saw. You too are together now. I saw it. I saw it."

"All right," Sasuke voiced. "She's not in this area lets go check field eight." Sakura felt her heart stop as they walked away. She had never been that good at concealing herself, especially from a Uchiha, and especially from Sasuke. So he knew where she was and had decided to leave her alone. Did he even care? Did anyone even care?

She felt hot tears run down her face in anger and frustration. How long? How long had they been together laughing behind her back? How come no one could tell she was hurting? That something was wrong? Hell her parents hadn't even asked if she was okay. Why couldn't anyone tell? Why didn't they care?

Getting up she made a decision and suddenly didn't care of the outcome.

Maybe he would do her a favor and do what she was too scared to do, take her life.

Kakashi was at the sink washing dishes and wondering why he didn't just by a freaking dishwasher. He hated doing this crap and he couldn't understand his own reasoning for not buying the appliance. The door rattled slightly from a soft knocking and he looked up sighing. If it was Gai again telling him how he should spend his day off outside training for the glory of youth he was going to put the guy out of konaha's misery. It was too bright outside damn it.

Opening the door the copy nin could not have been more surprised to see Sakura standing in front of him. Her body was angled away from the door and she was looking back out into the street with her arms crossed. Her hair was swaying in the wind, her jaw line was set, but what really got him was the tear marks down her face. Although that was nothing compared to the full glare she gave him when she finally turned around to face him. Sasuke couldn't have pulled off a better one.

"Sakura?"

"I need to talk to you." Her voice was set and each word came off quick and chopped. "Now."

Kakashi at a loss nodded and opened the door wider to let her in. He had never in his wildest dreams thought that Sakura would willingly approach him again. There was non reason for her too and he knew that if he had been in her position he would have requested a change of teams. Hell she hadn't even done that. Needless to say he was shocked.

"Of course maybe this is your chance to apologize," he thought. Truth be told he needed to talk to her and tell her something else. He knew that she'd reverted backwards instead of getting over it like everyone else wanted to believe. Why else would she be wearing long sleeves again?

She walked into his living room and he watched as she hugged herself closer. Tears came to her face, but she refused to look at him as he entered the room.

Not knowing what else to do Kakashi uncomfortably waited for her to say something.

"I saw Sasuke with Ino today."

That shocked Kakashi, sure he had known that the Uchiha had gotten pretty close the Yamanaka girl, but he hadn't expected that to come out of Sakura's mouth. Surely she had known…oh. He understood that she hadn't known that they had gotten together and from the looks of things she'd just found out. He felt sorry for the young teen in front of him. Things like that always hurt, especially after what he'd done to her. Although the fact that she'd come to him first sent a jolt in his system. Maybe things were hopeless after all. Maybe there was a way he could mend what he'd done to her. Obviously she trusted him enough to come here first.

"I didn't know that you didn't know." His voice was calm and so was his composure. Still something bothered him. He didn't believe that this was the only reason she was here. The look on her face sent that idea out the window. Not wanting to push her he waited patiently.

"Yeah," Sakura laughed hotly. "I was too busy here with you to even notice him."

Her voice was so full of anger and conviction that it stung Kakashi and confused him at the same time. Sure he had hurt her and she had a right to be mad, but what was that about being here? He hadn't touched her or messed with her since that incident a few months ago. Was she that bad off that she was imagining things?

"Sak-"

"NO!" Sakura turned to him angry and mad as her face flushed. "You know something this is your entire fault. I had everything figured out. I had a plan for my life and you ruined it. Now Sasuke's with Ino and you know what good for him. I'm too soiled. Too ruined for him now and you made damn sure of that!"

In her anger she'd thrown a finger up pointing at him and the last line rolled off with a hiss. Sakura felt exhausted as the whole the situation fell on her again. She was ruined and there was no going back. She fell back on the chair and buried her head in her hands mumbling to herself.

Kakashi stared at her disturbed. Sakura had a temper yes, but he'd never seen the woman act like this and it hurt him deeply. It also made him very uncomfortable. He had the nerve to stand up to the greatest killers and the guts to face death everyday in the field, but a woman crying in front of him was not something that he had the ability to face. Glancing up he watched the ceiling sort of nervous and decided to let her have it out. He'd been a sort of mess in his child hood as well and although Yodiame had the ability to talk to him and get him out of it, Kakashi knew he was nothing like his teacher.

He had no idea what to do.

Sakura continued to mumble in her hands cursing herself and the world. Everything that she'd said before in the past few months flew out of her mouth again. She took a startled breath trying to calm herself down. She was going to do what she came here to do no matter how sick she felt.

Loud enough for him to hear through her hands her voice rung across the room in what seemed a foreign language.

"I'm pregnant."

A kunai couldn't have hit Kakashi harder. He stopped and stared at the woman in front of him sure that his mouth had dropped behind his mask. Falling back into his façade that had been developed over the years he stared at her calmly. As calmly as he could. Surely he hadn't heard right?

"What?" It was the most educated thing, but that was the only words that would come out of his mouth. His entire being was locked in shock. He felt his heart stop as Sakura voiced a little louder.

"I said I'm pregnant."

**Once again really sorry for the wait guys, but I hope with this chapter you'll forgive me! I do plan on updating faster and Hate to leave you with a cliff hanger, but come on! I gave you two chapters. XD**

**Please review and don't forget to leave me a comment about Kakashi. **


	7. Chapter 7

Hey I know its been a while, but I updated. Thanks again for all those who are keeping up with this story and reviewing. I'm glad I could entertain all of you. ^_^

As for this chapter I'm afraid that if you thought it was going to get better, it's not. I know it's going to seem a little angsty, but I'm sorry. It has a purpose I promise you.

Chapter Rating: T for suggestive language and mentions of rape.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

Numb. That's what Kakashi felt as he stared at the crying woman in his house. Completely and utterly numb.

"This cannot be happening," he thought. Instead of taking the time to think about it Kakashi automatically fell into mission mode which meant action. Turning on his heel he sliced his finger and summoned Pakkun.

"Watch her. Make sure she doesn't leave this house or your a dead dog." It must've been the tone of his voice or the sound of a crying woman because for once the dog didn't complain or back sass him at all.

Kakashi left the apartment and headed over several didn't bring himself to think about it. He wouldn't let himself think about it. Not until he reached a certain office and meet with a certain blond haired lady.

Kakashi didn't use the doors or knock to announce his presence before walking through the open window. He watched slightly amused as the ANBU bodyguards tensed before recognizing him.

If they had any idea of the anger he finally felt as his foot touched the wooden floor they would have drawn their weapons and defended thier charge. Fortunately Tsuande happened to be alone and she glanced up at Kakashi bored.

"What a pleasant suprise. What do you want brat?" Her voice was lax and Kakashi found himself hating her more for that reason alone. Didn't she understand what was going on around her? Didn't she realize what had happened? Was she really that blind?

Growling he turned from her and addressed the ANBU. "Out. I need to talk to Lady Hokage alone."

To his sick satisfaction several of them men started to leave their post before remembering that only the Hokage could give them that order. It seemed that his reputation as the copy ninja and ANBU captain still held something. It wasn't until Tsuande nodded in their direction that the men finally left the two alone.

* * *

Sakura walked towards the Hokaga's office and heard Tsuanade's voice boom down the hall.

"PREGNANT!"

Several chunin startled dropped boxes they were carrying or just stopped all together. Sakura closed her eyes and wished the floor would open and swallow her on the spot. So Kakashi had gone to Tsunade.

She wondered what he was telling her, that she'd been a slut and begged him to take her? Sakura approached the door and was about to open it in an attempt to explain to Tsunade what had happened. Surely she would understand if anyone would. It had been a mistake to go to Kakashi first, she wasn't sure what she'd been thinking.

She paused hearing Kakashi's voice, what he said startled her.

"Yes pregnant. I thought you told me she was on birth control?"

Her heart stopped and she took a half a step back. Her hands fell limp at her sides.

None of this made sense. It had to be a dream. A genjutsu. Something. Why else would Kakashi be talking to Tsunade about her taking birth control when he raped her? Why the hell did that matter?

Shaking she took a breath and tried to calm down. Hiding her chakra with the best of her abilities she leaned in the door and pressed her ear to the wood.

"..you and the elder's fault."

Kakashi's voice was low but harsh. Tsunade said something she couldn't hear then Kakashi continued agitated. "How should I know? She was at my door crying and than told me she was pregnant. She's a medic nin for Kami's sake. Why shouldn't I believe her? And you and I both know damn well I'm the only person she's slept with." His voice got darker and Sakura shuddered at his next words.

"Hell you ordered me to sleep with her."

Sakura's breath caught and everything went white. Somehow she walked away and ended up home in her bedroom. She couldn't remember how she got there or what she was doing until a bag of clothes was packed and the team seven photo was in her hands. Her left index finger traced the outlines of thier faces one by one.

Naruto.

Sasuke.

Her eyes cleared as she traced out Kakashi's mask. She could hear his voice ring through her ears.

_"You and I both know damn well I'm the only one she's ever slept with."_

_"I'll do the same to Sasuke and Naruto."_

_"Hell you ordered me to sleep with her."_

_"You and the elders fault."_

Her hands clenched the edges of the frame tightly causing it to crack from the pressure.

_"A ninja who doesn't follow the rules is trash, but a ninja who doesn't protect his team mates is worse than trash."_

She threw the frame at the wall and it hit landing on the bed. She grabbed her bag and jumped through the window making a point not to look back.

"A bunch of lies," she thought jumping from one roof to another. She made it to the village gates and continued moving at top speed.

* * *

"Unbelievable," Tsuande swore making her way to the door. She opened it and called to Raido telling him to go to Kakashi's place and bring Sakura to her office.

"Lady Tsuande?" Shizune appeared again obviously having heard Tsuande's outbursts and was worried. She eyed Kakashi wearily. Before Tsuande could answer her there was a poof and Raido appeared in the middle of her room with Pakkun.

Sakura wasn't with them.

"Pakkun." Kakashi stated.

The dog shook himself. "She knocked me out and disappeared."

"I searched your home. There was no trace of her chakra signature anywhere." Raido spoke unsure of what was going on but determined to follow orders.

"Damn," Tsuande fist connected with the wall making the building shake with her fury. "Shizune you and Raido take two squads and search the village find her. Check her home, Naruto's, Ino's, Sasuke's, and the Hospital. Anywhere she might be."

"Hai!" The two of them disappeared immediately seeing the urgency in their leader.

"How the hell could this happen?" Tsuande spoke going to a file cabinet and to Kakashi's surprise she pulled out Sakura's medical file. She didn't bother to explain why she had it on hand.

"I'm going to help them," Kakashi headed towards the door.

"No," Tsuande spoke stopping him. "She reacts violently to you . If you go to her now there is no telling how she'll react. It's better if someone else finds her."

Kakashi pondered her words and realized how right she was even if she didn't understand the entire situation. Tsunade thought their sex had been consensual and that Sakura had reacted towards him proved the council right beyond a doubt. The truth was much darker.

No matter how you looked at it he'd raped her. She said no and he forced himself into her after tying her down. If she saw him she would probably think that he had come back to kill her and get rid of any evidence to his crime. That was why she left, he was sure of it. After the hysteria of the situation had dissolved she'd realized how stupid she had been to come to him and ran.

Hell if anyone approached her she might try to kill them or herself.

There was a knock on the door before Jiraiya came in grinning like a wild cat. "Hey there's this new restaurant opening up in town and I was wondering-" he stopped staring at Kakashi and Tsunade. The latter didn't even look up from the paper.

Jiraiya sighed, "Forget I asked. What happened?"

Kakashi was about to open his mouth to tell the sanin nothing when Tsuande cut him off. "Sakura's run off and we've got to find her. The council decided months ago that female virgins as ninjas were not a good idea based on rape suicides in the field. Kakashi made them see otherwise, but not until he had to sleep with Sakura so she could keep her job." The female sanin was spouting off like she was describing the events of a bingo game or something. "She's pregnant and scared. I've sent to teams out to look for her now."

Jiraiya raised an eyebrow, but said nothing on the situation. Instead his next words focused on finding her. "Why don't you have that dog clan look for her?"

Kakashi frowned knowing exactly who he was talking about. Kiba's clan was the perfect team to find her. Tsuande agreed and scribbled something down on paper before sending it off with the bird on her balcony ledge.

Jiraiya sat down without a care in the world and pulled out his pipe. Kakashi knew that the bar accident that had occurred between the two of them was not forgotten, but it seemed now that Jiraiya knew why he'd done it. The hermit smiled slightly up at him and puffed his pipe.

"Tough shit huh?"

He had no idea.

"You know I'm suprised you did it. The girl was in love with Sasuke so why didn't you assign him to do it?" Kakashi gave him a look and Jiraiya answered the unasked question. "Naruto has a big mouth and likes to talk when we train. Regardless answer the question. I mean isn't it taboo for a teacher to go at it with a student?"

Kakashi's face was blank behind the mask as he answered, "Sasuke has virtually no experience with women. I didn't tell him about the mission."

"Alright fine," Jiraiya puffed again and Kakashi knew he wasn't going to drop it. "But hell Naruto knows a woman's body as well as a mans. Haven't you seen that sexy no jutsu of his?" Jiraiya got a far away look in his eye and Kakashi didn't know if he should be shocked or disgusted that the man thought Naruto (even though he was in female form) was appealing enough to think about in public.

"Sakura and Naruto's relationship is fragile enough. Besides if he did it then he might think that it was supposed to be real and not just for a mission." Kakashi spoke growing more and more uncomfortable of the situation.

"Fine than what about Gai's student Naruto keeps complaining about? Lee was it?"

"The boy is a miniature Gai in looks and actions." Kakashi spat annoyed at the thought of Lee with his hands on Sakura. "He wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut."

"Fine, fine," Jiraiya held his hands up. "I just can't see her agreeing to her teacher taking her first time, but hey maybe she thought you knew exactly what you were doing the whole time. Probably figured what with you reading my educational books and all that you would know exactly what to do."

Tsuande snorted. Apparently she had been listening to the conversation even as she flipped through the file.

Jiraiya frowned at her before looking back at the young man he was questioning. "That leads me to the last question," He took out his pipe and to Kakashi's surprise gave him a look suggesting he was two seconds from jumping up and beating him to a pulp.

"Why the hell didn't you use a condom?"

The paper in Tsuande's hands stopped and fell back on the table as silence. Kakashi could feel her eyes on him just as Jiraiyas.

The thought that both of them could probably kill him without so much as lifting a finger sent a chill down his spine. "She was supposed to be on the pill. Aren't all female ninja's on the pill?" Even as the words fell out of his mouth they sounded pathetic to his own ears.

"Not neccessarily," Tsunade spoke up. "Most females Sakura's age aren't taking any birth control. They aren't going on missions that have a high risk rate of sexual contact in any form. Despite that it is encouraged by the medical center to take a pill just in case. Although you know that the pill is not one hundred percent."

Jiraiya waved Tsuande off and brought Kakashi's attention back to himself. The young man suddenly got the impression that what had happened between them at the bar might have been understood, but was in no way forgotten. Jiraiya was a usually nice guy and he and Kakashi had an okay relationship, but that didn't stop Jiraiya from getting his payback in some way. He was a lot like Naruto in that aspect.

"You still should have used a condom." He puffed his smoke and leaned back. "I know you've been checked for diseases, we all have every few months, but you might have contracted something. And hell its the principal of the thing. A tiny shield between you and her. Didn't she want you to put one on?"

Jiraiya's words struck like a knife in Kakashi's gut as he stared at the man in front of him. He was right. Why the hell didn't he think to use a rubber? And of course Sakura hadn't asked him to put one on. She didn't have a chance through the tears.

Jiraiya continued as if probing for something in Kakashi that Kakashi himself couldn't see. "Well hell maybe she didn't. Probably thought you were a damn good looker and for a young woman she ain't bad looking. Not all developed though, but hell if you had to do it you might as well get some satisfaction out of it right?"

Tsuande slammed her fist onto the table looking like she was about to blow up as her face got red. "What the hell are you getting at? Kakashi was livid when he had to do it and Sakura's been traumatized from the whole ordeal. Niether of them wanted to do this, but Sakura knew she had to so she could keep her job. If you're going to turn this into some sick old mans fantasy for one of your novels get out of my office before I escort you to the door." The wood under her hand creaked with the strain of her force and Jiraiya paled slightly.

"No no," he shook his head. "You got it all wrong. I don't use teenagers in my stories. Only full fledged adults. I was just saying are you sure it wasn't some sort of fantasy that kept you from putting a condom on? That you just didn't want anything to keep you from experiencing a flower in its prime? I'm not suggesting anything, but curious. A man as experienced as Kakashi would have known better."

The two were arguing as if Kakashi wasn't in the room and couldn't vouch what he felt for himself. Not that Kakashi mind because Jiraiya's words only forced him to think back on that night and the nights afterwards.

The toad sage was right. No he wasn't right he was wrong.

Kakashi felt like he was shaking and had to sit down. _"You did it on purpose. You've always been watching over her and you know it as well as I do."_

**"What the hell are you talking about?"**Kakashi thought to himself. The voice in his ear was frightening calm and talked as it was chastising a child.

_"Your little flower blossom. Ever since you were assigned to those three you've been watching her and you know it. A teacher lusting after his student," _the voice rose and octave, _"such an evil little taboo. Got a little tired of just reading it on paper did you? Had to tie her in your bed and take her just like you wanted to. Like a filthy animal." _

Kakashi grew angry and growled back at the voice. **"It was a mission. I did what I had to do to make sure she was protected."**

_"Right. Continue to tell yourself that so you can sleep and relive the night over and over again without any guilt."_ The voice snorted. _"Mission my ass. A bunch of lame excuses over and over again. Why didn't you just get Sasuke to do it then? Why threaten her?"_

**"Shut the hell up. I had to threaten her so she wouldn't tell the others. Something like that would break up the team that they had become. They wouldn't trust me to lead them. They would become over protective with her. She would feel inferior and it would become awkward. I threatened her so she wouldn't break up what she had with them. And Sasuke had no experince with women."**

_"How the hell did you know that?"_ the voice chided him again. _"He's with Ino isn't he? How long has that been going on under your noise because you sure didn't have a clue until Sakura told you today. Oh and by the way good job on leaving her alone with Pakkun. You are loosing it. Face it. Your a horny old man who gets his jollies off of thinking about his young female student calling him "Kakashi-sensei" in his bed after you raped her."_

Kakashi shot back. **"It was something I had to do. It was a mission that we both had to do. We didn't have a choice."**

_"Bullshit!" _This time the voice all out yelled at him. It seemed so real that it rang in his ears. He thought it was familiar, but dismissed it as it continued. _"You HAD a choice. You COULD have told her everything. You COULD have explained why you were doing it. You COULD have let her make the choice over her virginity and pride over her job. You COULD have let her choose who she wanted to loose her virginity to. You HAD a choice. Instead you tied her to your bed and got her PREGNANT. You were selfish because deep down you wanted it to happen. You wanted he-"_

"**NO!" **Kakashi yelled back at him. It was wrong. The voice was completely wrong. He hadn't wanted to do what he did. He had done what was best for his team. He didn't want to take her. The voice was quiet, but he could almost see a figure shaking his head in disbelief.

Kakashi came back to earth when Tsuande's desk finally cracked in half. While Kakashi had been arguing with a foreign voice in his mind Jiraiya and Tsunade had been arguing among themselves.

"How dare you!" Tsuande stood up stright glaring at her ex-team mate. "Kakashi and Sakura are both torn up about what happened. They both payed a heavy price for it and you want to point a finger? Kakashi made sure that she knew what was going to happen and what was expected of her. She made her choice."

Kakashi was struck like someone had slapped him across the face. No she didn't because he never gave her that chance.

Without thinking the words were out of his mouth. "No. I made it for her."

Both Sanins stopped arguing and looked over at him. Tsuande's glare said it all as her voice was tight. "Explain."

Kakashi looked up at her and forced himself to say the words aloud that he'd been keeping to himself. "I raped Sakura. She didn't know about the mission I'd been given. I sent for her to come to my house, tied her down and threatened to rape Naruto and Sasuke if she didn't do what I said or told anyone."

The door was thrown open and Naruto and Sasuke along with Ino walked into the room. Every single one of them looked pissed. Ino was the only one to give an explanation. "Shizune told us that Sakura had gone missing we came here to find out why."

Tears shined in her eyes, but beneath it was a deep hatred that Kakashi hadn't seen anywhere else. They had all heard the truth.

Kakashi didn't have time to see that Sasuke had already activated his sharingan before Naruto gave a yell and ran at him with the force of ten oxen. Out of reflex Kakashi jumped to his feet and grabbed the incoming fist and then the foot. With both his hands occupied he had no chance of dodging the fist that Sasuke sent into his kidney from behind.

Kakashi gasped, but grasped Naruto harder instead of letting him go. Seeing what was happening Sasuke forced his arms underneath both of Kakashi's and Naruto awkwardly head butted him sending him into the arms of the Uchiha. Two kunai flew past his head before there a familiar puff of smoke as several Naruto's filled the room from a shadow clone.

Sasuke threw Kakashi off and jumped off the wall to perform the fire ball jutsu and Kakashi realized what all the Naruto's were for. They weren't for fighting him, but to make a buffer to keep the other people in the room safe. A fire ball justu at this range and in a small space like this wasn't safe in the slightest. Kakashi narrowly escaped the blast of fire only catching it a bit on his sleeve.

He pulled out a kunai and it collided with Sasuke's own in front of his face. The Uchiha had predicted that his teacher would be able to dodge the attack and had used his speed as well as his sharingan to immediately attack again.

Despite the rank difference Sasuke kept Kakashi on his toes as his other hand dropped a kunai to the floor and used another to attack him. Kakashi had no choice but to use his other kunai to block it at a stand still. The sharingan eyes staring at him held nothing but fury. Kakashi had never seen it in Sasuke's eyes, even when he talked about his brother.

To be honest it scared him.

The two of them pushed against each other and despite Kakashi's size and strength, he was being pushed back. Sasuke's adrenaline was winning the battle. Suddenly Sasuke pulled back and jumped backwards flipping over Naruto. The blond male was coming at top speed with the rasengan in his hand. Kakashi had felt a surge of chakra, but had dismissed it trying to find a way to immobilize Sasuke. Now he regretted it.

Their team work was flawless and wordless. Something that was rare with teams that had spent over thirty years together. Kakashi would have been impressed to tears if he had the time, but Naruto's Rasengan colided with his chest at that exact instant. Sasuke had waited for the last second to jump.

Kakashi pushed himself backwards to lesson the blow, but was still hit with a little over half the force and sent through the window. In the air and seeing through the glass and debrie Kakashi saw a kunai coming at him. It was Sasuke's the one he dropped, and it was tagged.

Kakashi threw a star to intercept it and covered his face as it exploded. He turned his body in the air and landed on his feet. He felt another surge of chakra and glanced up to see Sasuke forming the chidori to run down the building. He swore and lifted up his hentai-ate to reveal his own sharingan.

He could hear startled yells and screams from the distance that the battle had created. Soon ANBU would report to stop the fighting, but not soon enough. Naruto attacked him head on and Kakashi whipped the boy around with a kunai to the blondes throat before other arms wrapped around his body hugging Kakashi's arms to his sides. The blond in front of him disappeared and Kakashi was horrified.

Naruto had created a clone so close to perfect that his sharingan hadn't even detected that it was just a bunch of chakra. Sasuke was infront of him now with his light blue charkra dancing with the sound of birds.

They were good, but not that good. Kakashi in his minds eye saw himself pushing both him and Naruto out of the way before stepping on the blondes foot and forcing them both off balance so he would land on the younger man winding him and getting away.

But he couldn't make his body move. For some reason he completely relaxed in Naruto's tight grip that would leave bruises later and watched as Sasuke got closer. It was all in slow motion.

He didn't even flinch when Sasuke's hand reared back to make the final blow that would end his life. The chakra from Sasuke's hand vanished and a bare fist struck him in the jaw sending him to the ground. Naruto kicked him in the back with enough force that he coughed up blood in his mask.

For some reason that was unknown even to Kakashi the silver haired ninja didn't fight back or even block the next two blows that came before ANBU restrained both Sasuke and Naruto.

There was an odd silence that seemed to loud for Kakashi's mind to handle as he forced himself to his feet. The streets were full of civilians, but even more so other ninja. To his suprise Kakashi saw that it was not ANBU that was holding his students back, but his own peers.

Gai had Sasuke in a head lock on the ground and Kurenai was leaning on his back restraining his hands. Asuma had both of Naruto's legs while Iruka had Naruto's torso in a bear hug. The blond was off the ground and slowly calming down as Iruka was whispering in his ears. Tears started streaming down Naruto's face while Sasuke actually bit Gai and threw several curses at the spandex wearing male and Kakashi himself.

"You low life son of a bitch. Your mother fucked a dog to come up with you didn't she Kakashi? You dirty bastard! I'm going to rip it off and make you eat it."

Kakashi didn't need for him to voice it aloud to know what "it" was as the sharingan eyes stared up at him spitting dirt. On his feet Kakashi covered his sharingan when three ANBU appeared at his side.

"Hatake, Kakashi you are under arrest by order of the Fifth Hokage." The female, a raven, voiced while a male monkey brought both of his hands behind his back and cuffed him.

"What's the meaning of this?" Gai stood up leaving Kurenai to Sasuke and walked to the other ninja. The idea that his rival was being arrested was something foreign to the taijutsu master.

"He raped Sakura," Naruto's voice boomed through his tears. "The son of a bitch raped Sakura." Naruto's voice broke as he stared through the tears.

Kakashi shut his eyes ashamed. He didn't want to see the look on Gai's face. He didn't want to see any of it. He couldn't take it. He would die if he saw any part of it and at that moment he wished for nothing else. Mercy would have been the earth opening and swallowing him whole.

"That's a lie." Gai's voice shook with an emotion that the silver haired nin couldn't place. "Kakashi wouldn't do that."

"He admitted it." Sasuke's voice answered full of hatred. Kakashi opened his eyes and spared the Uchiha a glance. The sharingan had been replaced with onyx eyes and Ino was beside him with Kurenai. "I heard him with my own ears. He should die for what he's done."

"My rival is not fit to do such things," Gai seemed outraged and Kakashi could feel his eyes on him, but could not bring himself to look at the man. "Kakashi is a just man and an exemplary ninja of the Leaf Village. I will not believe that he had it in him to do something like that when he has been a model for us all along." Gai seemed to think his words were true.

"Kakashi has always been the a great rival and wonderful teacher. His record is extrodinary and he goes beyond the call of duty to protect the ones in his care. He would never betray himself or our wonderous village and desecrate a fine ninja like Sakura. I will not believe that somene as ideal as Kakashi could commit that crime. A war hero. A genius. Our Copy Ninja."

Kakashi shut his eyes tighter and bowed his head. There was no way he could face Gai or the others. Each word the spandex clad man said struck him harder than anything he'd felt in his entire life. He would have perfered someone cut him to pieces slowly instead of standing there and being forced to witness the illusion that Gai had of him.

"Gai," Tsuande's voice again cut through the fog of his mind. It was colder than Kakashi had ever heard her speak. The entire village had heard of his crime and that called for an explanation. Kakashi's eyes shut tighter and he shook his head.

Tsuande would have to explain to all of them present as the Hokage what had really happened. The group would have to hear what the village elders had ordered. They would have to know that the he'd been given the mission and despite the fact that he had perverted it to all extent that wouldn't change. He thought of Naruto and the other genin. He thought of Gai and several of the chunin and Jounin.

They believed somewhere deep inside of them that they were all fighting for something precious. That they loved thier home and it loved them back. That was the only thing that would keep a man from going crazy as he killed target after target. It was the only thing they had to keep them sane.

If they knew that thier village had betrayed them by ordering the virginity of a young woman who was one of them to be taken it would destroy all of that. They would no longer have faith in the Elders to do what was right for them. Ninja would no longer look at the Hokage or thier other superiors as people to trust. The government would become something of suspicion.

It was things that made missing nins and started civil wars. And ninja and civilians would pay the price. Kakashi would not throw Naruto and Sasuke along with the others in that position. He would not force them to make the decision between their duty or thier morals.

He laughed loud and hard. It was mockingly pointed at Gai as he lifted his head to the sky. "You always were such an idiot." He looked at Gai with a sense of superiority.

"You honestly think you know me don't you _Gai_?" his voice was sarcastic and harsh. "Oh perfect little Kakashi. He's just so honest, so merciful, so wonderful. Hell you don't even know what I look like."

Kakashi laughed again and cocked his head to the side forcing himself to remain in eye contact with the Green Beast of Konoha. "Keeping ninja alive. Please Gai do you honestly believe that I give a shit if you come home or not? I've danced in my fathers blood, killed Obito and stole his sharingan, and watched as the rest of my team died one by one. Why do you think I'm the last of team seven? Why do you think the Uchiha's were so pressed to get the Sharingan back from me? Oh what a pretty little story Ren and I spread around the village. Obitio died saving my life and giving me his sharingan. Please. I knew that idiot would save me and it was his fault I had lost the eye. Rin was in a genjutsu the entire time and it was a damn good thing the bitch died before she could say anything about the truth. And Minato." Kakashi laughed again. "That dumb ass believed us the entire time. Hell he even believed that Rin died from an enemy ninja. I guess he just gave me enough time to wipe away the blood from my own sword."

They were all lies, but Kakashi continued and could see the shock radiating in all their eyes. He had to do this right. He had to make them think he was an uncaring monster so they would believe him.

"Minato. Minato. That blonde fools death was my excuse to join ANBU and get myself away from the incompetence surrouding me. A half witted spoiled brat of Sarutobi, a whore of a woman. Tell me Kurenai when did you get tired of your fingers and decided you needed something else?" He jerked his eyes to look at the red eyed female. "I was waiting for you to get tired of fucking that brat Asuma and come to see how a real man works. Guess I just got tired of waiting. Good thing to because a slut like you has probably been around the world with everyone in this village haven't you?"

Asuma nearly dropped Naruto's legs in shock and Kurnai sucked in her breath grinding her teeth. Gai only stared at him with disbelief. Kakashi waited for him. He knew that Gai still didn't believe so he needed to paint a more vivid picture to force Gai's hands. He would be the hardest to fool.

"Oh and wasn't ANBU worth it. Finally people that would just shut the hell up and do thier job. Some of the best missions too. Pure and simple. Travel here. Kill this person. Assassinate him. Fight this one. No questions. To bad the third had a stick up his ass and pulled me out. Although not before I meet your brother Sasuke."

Kakashi gave a sickening smile at the young man. "Boy you sure are a disapointment. At your age your brother was leading ANBU into battle. He was the only one worthy of _your _kind to wear the sharingan. You can't even touch your brother and you know what you never will. He'll always be stronger than you so you can go to your grave knowing that you never avenged mommy and daddy." Kakashi snorted.

This time Neji, Lee, and Kurenai was forced to restrain Sasuke. In an instant the two genin had seen the curse mark spread across his face and rushed to help the sensei.

"That's another thing your brother could do," Kakashi adopted the tone the voice inside his head had used with him as he sucked his teeth. Sounding like he was talking to a five year old he continued, "Itachi could control his temper. Your just a child compared to him. Oh well at least you have a chance to create your clan again. Ino's probably more than willing to spread her legs." Kakashi chuckled as if he'd created the biggest joke on the planet. "She's probably a hell of a lot easier to get into than Sakura."

"Kakashi," Gai broke in shaking. "What are you saying?" He took several steps closer to the cuffed ninja and opened his hands as if he was going to embrace him. "What are you talking about? This isn't you. I know it isn't."

Kakashi rolled his eyes cursing Gai's stubborn streak in his head. It was going to take a hell of a lot more. He didn't want to do this, but he had a choice to make and this time it was going to be the right one.

"We've been through this. You don't know me. Where was I? Oh yeah, my team. Imagine my suprise when that screwed over old man asked me to be your sensei. I didn't know I'd be put with an emo crybaby, a lovesick cherry blossom, and a monster. Boy what was my surpise when I met you Naruto."

Kakashi watched the blond flinch from the nickname. He wasn't going to out Naruto, but he was going to make the boy hate him forever. The blue eyes full of water and the messy blond hair made him hesitate. He looked so sad and so much like the Fourth Hokage it was heartwrenching to do it.

"Sarutbi should have listened to me when I told him to kill you as a baby. He just had to give you a chance and what an idiot he was. You're the terror of the village. Why can't you get a clue and just kill yourself already demon? You little freak. You don't deserve to live and newsflash, no one is going to let you become Hokage or give you your precious little respect. And you know why? The same reason your parents left you alone in the world. You just don't fit in."

Naruto had paled tremendously in Iruka's arms and Kakashi watched the teacher hug the boy tighter and whisper more words like he was some how creating a shield. Kakashi whished deep down that Iruka had been able to block what he said. The tears still streaming down Naruto's face was proof enough that he hadn't been able to.

The nail was in his coffin and Kakashi knew exactly what to do to seal the deal. They would scream for his head.

"The only true talent out of the entire team came from the girl. And that wasn't on the field."

"Kakashi..."

The silver haired ninja ignored Gai. "You never gave her the time of day did you Sasuke? Boy did you miss out on a chance. All you had to do was say the word and snap your fingers then she would have been all over you. Naruto saw, but she's smarter than that. She needed a real man to show her what she was missing."

"Kakashi...."

"I gave that to her. The night I called her into my room and stripped her down on my bed."

"Kakashi!"

"You should have seen the way she cried and pleaded with me. Her teal eyes puffing up under those luscious pink locks. She was so helpless tied to the bed post and in my arms. And that look of pure helplessness when she finally realized that she couldn't fight me off and understood what I was doing. You should have heard her, Kakashi sensei Please!" Kakashi mimicked a woman's pitched voice.

In front of him Gai had opened his mouth, but Kakashi's name didn't fall past his lips again. He just stared unbelieving.

"The real kicker was when I threatened to rape the two of you if she said anything or didn't shut up. She let me do what I wanted then. And let me tell you little Sakura has grown up. A wanton through and through. Even though she cried she was still so tight. Do you know she moaned? She might not have liked it at the beginning, but she was begging me for more. Wanting my touch. She'd had low standards all along that a man was to much for her to handle. Or at least that's what I got through the gasps and screams."

"Iruka knock me out."

Naruto's voice was so calm that it seemed completely out of place in the atmosphere Kakashi had created. "Please Iruka sensei knock me unconcious." The seal on Naruto had loosened and red chakra danced around him. Iruka was completely caught off guard and immobile as Naruto's face twisted in front of him. His teeth started to grow and the scars on his face darkened. Kakashi feared he'd gone to far when Jiriaya appeared behind his pupil and did what a shell shocked Iruka could not bring himself to do.

Gai shifted in front of Kakashi drawing his attention back on the green spandex clad male. His face was pale against his dark hair and he looked ragged. Defeated. Gai didn't say a word as he turned around and walked through the crowd. He didn't look back once.

Kakashi closed his eyes and sighed in relief. The victory he had won was hollow. Gai was the closest friend Kakashi had made. The two had been through a lot together and now he would walk awaly thinking that he'd been wrong. The one man who Kakashi could look up to and go to for guidence even if Gai was oblivious to it would think he was nothing more than shit.

A single tear fell down Obito's eye. Kakashi never cried, but Obito had always been a cry baby. It was soaked up and hidden from the world from the hentai-ate.

Footsteps brought Kakashi's head up and he saw the greatest look of pity before ten fingers reached for his mask. Kakashi flinched, but Ino held him in place with a sort of strength that only women possesed. Silently she pulled it down and revealed his face to the world. Her eyes roamed his features up and down. Reaching up on her tip toes she grasped his head band. No one made a move to interfere as she tore it off his face.

Ino didn't spare the thing a glance as she dropped it unceremoniously into the dirt at her feet. Kakashi did his best to seem unaffected by any of this and mildly delirious. He didn't know how she did it, but she had coaxed him into opening his sharingan to stare at her cold eyes with his mix matched ones. He would have sworn he'd been bewitched as he stood their completely naked for everyone to see.

Without a word or hint she slapped him across the face. The blow wasn't hard and barely moved his face, but it seemed to echo across the village. The awed silence that had held the crowd his captive for had seemed hours suddenly shattered.

Names were thrown at him along with threats. The people that he had sacrificed so much for and defended for so long called for his head. They wanted him gutted in the street right in front of him.

Tsuande commanded the ANBU above the crowd to transport him to Level E which was a secret holding facility somewhere in the village for high risk criminals. The last thing Kakashi saw of his world was Jiraiya summoning the chief toad to help control the crowd before something struck the back of his head.

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I told you it would get a little angsty. Don't worry though, it's not going to stay like this forever, though I don't think the alternative for Kakashi is going to be much better.

Stick to it though pleeeaaasseee. It might have a happy ending....I haven't decided yet.

Next Chapter: Sakura has spent three days hiding from Leaf Ninja's trying to track her down. Tired and close to giving up she finds salvation from two men who could be her saviors if she convinces them not to kill her first. Suddenly she sees a chance for revenge and protection from the Leaf Village. These men want Kakashi and she knows just what to use as bait.

Read and Review! ^_^


	8. Sins of A Father

Okay, here's the deal. one of the reason's i've been so slow with this story is bad time management and a holy shit where did that chapter go?

Good news I found the chapter. ^_^ please enjoy-this is the only thing that has changed from the text. Everything else is the same and will not change.

Chapter rating: PG 13

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Sins of the Father.

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Sakura was exhausted beyond all belief, but she continued to push herself further and further away from the Leaf Village. It had been days since she'd left and she'd spent them dodging and running from ANBU to Kiba's clan. The village seemed determined to catch her, but there was no going back now. She was never going to step foot in the place again and hoped that her mother and father would understand. It hurt to leave them behind. Every night when she paused to rest the thought of two of them made her heart ache.

"I'm not going back," Sakura muttered to herself in the cold dark night. Her hand unconsciously went to her stomach, a habbit she had picked up when she found out that she was pregnant. After she had first left the village all she wanted to do was get rid of it. She was a medic ninja and thought that the process might be bloody and would hurt like hell, but she knew she could do it. She had been in tears and close to succeding. The only thing that kept her from killing it was the fact that it was innocent and a baby. Sakura was a ninja yes, and she fully expected to take lives. What she didn't expect to become was a murderer and there would be no justifying a dead baby. So she decided she would find a way to hide and give birth before leaving the thing behind in someone's care.

Sakura stopped to rest and leaned against a tree sighing and panting. That was the problem. If she went to any hospital to have the baby then there was little doubt that Tsuande would not find out. Her mentor was worshipped by the medical field and she would gladly receive reports on any female patients giving birth. Hell Sakura would bet money on each hospital receiving delicate information on her chakra signature or even her blood type to identify her. A ninja could change a lot when it came to their outward appearance, but on the inside they were still the same. And then she would be caught and forced to come back home living in shame.

No that wasn't an option. And to use a street hospital would risk both her and the thing growing inside her. She was ashamed and depressed, but she found that she didn't want to die. Suicide had left her mind when she fled to Tsuande looking for some kind of protection. Truth be told she was scared of death.

Sakura shook her head and continued to walk. She didn't have the strength to run anymore and her chakra was close to being dangerously low. For the next hour she walked looking for some place to hid herself until morning. It took her a while, but through her fatigue she finally realized that something was wrong. No one was following her, but there was something completely off about the woods around her. It was then she realized that it was completely quiet. The woods were never quiet.

Sakura pulled out a kunai from the pouch on her leg and glanced around as alert as she could be considering the circumstances. This was worse than anything she could have imagined. "I have to get out of here," she thought. The hairs on the back of her neck began to prickle and the wind picked up. She had a odd image of Kakashi coming through the trees and killing her. Shivers ran down her spine and she gave into the urge moving quickly through the woods. Moments later she picked up on an opening in the rocks, a small cave. Ducking inside it she closed her eyes and concentrated on her other senses finding nothing.

Her heart continued to ram against her ribcage like it was trying to remove itself from her body. After moments of silence Sakura gave up and slowly fell down to the earth. She had slept very little and concluded that maybe it had just been ten hours since she'd left the village. Her body couldn't take much more. She was going to kill herself if she didn't rest soon. Sakura opened her eyes and glanced around the small opening feeling another pang of anxiety when she saw the old remains of a fire.

She was about to get up when she realized that it was days old and there was nothing around the place to suggest that anyone was coming back.

"Besides," Sakura voiced aloud, "All my problems would be solved if someone killed me. No baby and I wouldn't have to worry about being to much of a coward to kill myself." She gave a half grin and took of her back pack settling down and slept deeper than she ever had in her entire life.

Kakashi woke up when the door opened to his cell deep within ANBU territory. There were no windows or lights in the room and the only illumination he got was when the door opened to reveal the light from the hallway. Other than that he was left completely in the dark with no way to tell if it was day or night. His food was given once in what he thought was a day because it was so long between each feeding through a small sliding door that could only be opened on the other side. His clothing had disappeared the night that he was arrested and when he woke up his cell it had been replaced with a thin shirt and pants. Both his feet where shackled and one hand was tied behind his back making it impossible to create hand signs. It was only made worse from the fact that it was his dominate hand so everything he did, even eating was slightly clumsy with his other hand.

The man illuminated in the light was Jiraiya and with him one guard. The guard came in with a light bulb in his hand and put it in the fixture that was in Kakashi's cell. The sudden light that flooded the room made Kakashi blink as he stared at his cell for the first time. It was a plain white and to Kakashi's surprise he had a blanket in the corner that he could have used no matter how thin to make sure that he didn't freeze at night like he had been. The guard left the room leaving both men alone. That caught Kakashi off guard because he figured if someone came to see him that there would be several guards. Kakashi would be a level S criminal right next to Itachi Uchiha in level making them take all precaution. He guessed that they thought Jiraiya could handle himself well enough.

The two men stood staring at each other for a while before the toad sage sighed and put his hands on his hips. "You're a piece of work you know that?" If his voice had been warmed Kakashi would have laughed despite the situation he was in, but it was colder than ice. Kakashi decided not to say anything letting the man talk. "Raping your own student. What the hell is the matter with you? Don't you have any idea who you are? The remaining of the original team seven. Minato's last student. My student through him. Do you realize that you tarnished his memory by doing that?"

Kakashi shook his head. "It wouldn't have mattered now anyway." The prisoner was sitting on the floor and made no attempt to get up.

Jiraiya snorted, "Of course that little speech you gave. A bunch of lies all of it, but you painted a pretty little picture. I do believe you've convinced everyone and you should be thankful because that's the only reason Tsuande hasn't come down here herself and yanked that sharingan out of your head." Kakashi remained impassive as Jiraiya seemed to be struggling with himself. Jiraiya was a good ninja, but like Naruto his feelings were a fault of his and Kakashi knew that he had hurt the old man deeply this past year. From the punch to everything else he had pushed Jiraiya hard. It was a testament to Jiraiya's good soul that he was even here talking to Kakashi.

Kakashi licked his lips and stared at the ground. "How," his voice was rough and scratchy to his own years, "How are Naruto and Sasuke?" He wanted to ask about Gai, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. As if sensing what he was hiding Jiraiya sighed and looked at him.

"Gai took it harder than anyone. Lee and Tsuande finally manged to get him to eat something yesterday. He's never alone. His team takes turns watching over him and trying to get him to do something. Give it some time and he should snap out of it. Gai's a strong soul and used to this sort of thing because of how...different he is. People have been letting him down for years."

It stung that Kakashi was now added to the list, but the younger male kept it to himself. "Naruto and Sasuke?"

"As far as I know the two of them along with Ino have been suspended from doing any missions and are being guarded. They wanted to look for Sakura, but with their close ties to the situation it was best that they didn't. They wouldn't shut up until Tsuande told them what Sakura might do in shame if they were the ones to actually find her. Asuma and the others gave their word to do everything in their power to find her. Sasuke's demanding for you head every day, Ino continues to look at old photos and cry. As for Naruto, he's on the training field wearing him out to the point that he has to be carried home because he pushes himself to hard. The boy needs to do something and training is all he's got."

Kakashi nodded knowing that he had expected nothing less. They had, not to sound too much like Gai, but sprit of youth to keep them going. Young people could be devastated easily by what happened to others, but they unlike their older counterparts had the ability to pick up and move on. Kakashi had jaded all of them and it would be a wonder if they could every trust anyone out of their group again, but they would survive. As a figure head he had betrayed them. As a friend he had betrayed them. To be honest though, they weren't that close and that held more truth when it came to Ino.

Kakashi forced himself to look into the old man's eyes. He would not hide from his last question. "Sakura?"

Jiraiya shook his head. "Nothing. The teams picked up her trail, but then lost it again. She's a smart girl and it'll be hard to find her unless she wants to be found."

Kakashi nodded. "Her chakra control is one of the strongest I've ever seen."

Jiraiya stared at him like he had grown another head before asking curiously, "Why'd you do it? And don't tell me it was because it was a mission because I know you Hatake. Everything you said the other night was bullshit. Minato told me that since Obito died you held the people around you higher than the rules. It's not like you to rape her just because you were told. Hell you proved that again when you told that story. You did it to protect them in the only way you could even if they would hate you forever. Someone so willing to sacrifice themselves wouldn't do that to another human being."

Kakashi gave a short smile, "Ninja that don't follow the rules are trash, but ninjas that don't look out for their friends are worse than trash." The smile faded from his face and he leaned his head against the wall behind him. "Look at where that got me? If I had just done my job like the tool I am than this would all be blamed on wrong information and a mission. Sakura was supposed to be on birth control and I was just doing my job. Instead I've painted myself a rapist, murderer, and psychopath to protect my friends. My father did the same thing and sacrificed himself. Now I'll die alone and disgraced just like he did the only difference is I can't take solace in taking my own life."

Jiraiya nodded his head. "The rules do exist for a reason and your right. Had you just stuck to the fact that it was a mission you wouldn't be in here right now. You would be outside and free to live your life. Tsuande doesn't have a choice now but to call for your head, but that doesn't answer my question why?"

Kakashi frowned. Of course his explanation answered his question. He'd done his job and that was all, but Kakashi didn't want to argue. "I don't know. Has anyone figured out how she got pregnant? I find it hard to believe that her pill stops working for one night."

"You're right. Sakura wasn't taking the pill at all. In fact as far as we know she never took the pill. She was getting them for Ino to take because it helped to balance out the other girl's hormones, but her father wouldn't get them for her."

"I thought the two of them were sworn enemies?" Kakashi asked confused.

Jaraiya shrugged, "I've been studying women for years and I still can't tell you how their minds work."

Kakashi nodded and moved to sit up wincing at the tiny prickling sensations that ran down his immobile arm. If they left him like this for much longer he was never going to be able to use it again.

"You're hurt?"

Kakashi chuckled at the older man's concerned. "I'm an S level criminal. They've done everything by the book as far as I can tell so yes I'm uncomfortable. Hell I bet we're underground right now aren't we?" He didn't need to see Jiraiya's face to know that he was right.

"So you're going to be a father huh?"

Kakashi startled to the point of opening his sharingan he'd been keeping closed to look at the man. The thought hadn't really occurred to him at all and to be honest he hadn't even considered that the child she was carrying was his. Of course he had gotten her pregnant, but he'd detached himself so far that he didn't even realize it was his. Jiraiya saying it made it real. Kakashi closed his eyes and bit the inside of his lip. The mask he wore was gone and he knew Jiraiya could tell what he was doing, but it didn't matter as he bit back a sob.

Pride be damned. He was going to be a father, but the child would be a bastard and fatherless completely before it was even born.

"No," his voice quivered. "She's going to be a mother if she carries it full term and delivers. I'm not going to be a father."

"Kakashi," Jiraiya's voice seemed distant. "You know I grew up with your dad. And there was one mission where the son of a bitch saved my life and I swore that I would pay him back somehow I didn't like being indebted to that man. He drove me crazy you know? Unfortunately he died before I got the chance."

Kakashi blinked up at the ceiling as the weight of Jiraiya's words finally hit him. Dazed the young man lowered his head to look at his elder. "Jiraiya?"

"No one's ever escaped from this place before." Jiraiya continued as if he hadn't heard a word. "Security for normal ninja is tight. They check every single one of them before their allowed to enter and strip them of all weapons. I am not a normal ninja, but a sanin and with that come some liberties. No one checked me. And we all know that you decked me at the bar months ago. They also know that I'm not cautious and tend to get close to prisoners. When I question someone I try to get as personal as possible to intimidate."

Kakashi opened both his eyes and watched as the man advanced on him. Kakashi shuffled to his feet and watched as Jiraiya placed both his hands on his hip revealing the end of a kunai. He looked into Jiraiya's face, but could read nothing in the man's expression. It was his voice that held everything. "If I regret it you are a dead man." Kakashi nodded before reaching out with his free hand and then reeling back to give Jiraiya a solid punch in the face. To stop the man from falling down with a thud he grabbed his robe and lowered him slowly before going to work on the rope capturing his other hand.

Most villages would have used iron, but Leaf rope was stronger than anything Kakashi had seen in his life and fortified with some secret substance to make it impossible to break with chakra. That stopped men from getting free from just a surge of chakra. It took Kakashi thirty minutes of awkward cutting to finally break through the rope and free his other hand. He spent another two minutes rubbing it and trying it out. No one had yet come to the door and Kakashi knew it was only a matter of time before someone checked on the two of them. Forming the chidori he cut through the metal holding his ankle clean. He moved Jiraiya's body against the wall in a sitting position and put his left hand behind his the old man's back. He then hid the rope under the blanket and placed the shackles so they looked like they were around Jiraiya's ankles. Using his chakra he changed the old man's appearance so he was staring back at himself.

That would buy him a little time.

Kakashi then used the transformation jutsu to turn into Jiraiya and walked out of the cell. With just a kunai at his side Kakashi knew that he needed to find a supplies room and restock on clothing and other before he left. Kakashi had been a part of ANBU but knew only the upper floors. Only certain ANBU guards got to go in the deeper levels. Hell he wasn't even sure it existed until he had been thrown into the cell. Kakashi walked resisting the urge to run as he navigated himself through the hallways. Every ANBU member he passed he hoped didn't know his chakra signature. If they knew it they would know right away that this was a jutsu and back in the cell he would go with another charge to add to his name.

For what seemed hours later Kakasih finally found his way to the first floor of the building. Ducking behind file cabinets and the locker area Kakashi reached the supplies room adn swore at the key lock. He was going to break it when he found it was already unlocked and couldn't help the sad smile that spread across his face. Jiraiya was a good man. Slippng into the room Kakashi let the jutsu go and found a uniform that fit him. He changed quickly thankful that he still had the ANBU tattoo and had not removed it when he'd retired from the force.

There were no masks, but Kakashi found a cloak and figured that it was better because it would hide his hair. Kakashi had already come to the realization that going back to his apartment would be futile and that he would have to leave everything behind. There was a pang at leaving behind the pictures on his bed or the books or even the sword his father had left him, but there was no choice in the matter. Taking several weapons here Kakashi took a breath before walking out of the room and locking it behind him.

There was one ANBU in the front of the office and Kakashi figured he was both the guard and secretary. He held his breath not wanting a confrontation as he walked outside. For an ANBU to use a teleportation jutsu in the building without it being an emergency was a big no no and Kakashi didn't want to risk it. The man glanced up once and if he thought it was odd that someone was wearing a cloak he didn't say anything. And just like that Kakashi walked out the front door.

Outside Kakashi used the teleportation justu immediately. It had been a while since Jiraiya had come to his cell and there was no doubt in his mind that he was on borrowed time. Kakashi was at the gate preparing to leave when the signal was given. Like he had thought Jiriaya had been found and a secret signal of Kakashi's escape had spread fast across the village. The gates would be the first to know.

"Shit," Kakashi swore rushing towards the gate. Sensing his presence Genma and Raido were both up and blocking his way. Kakashi could almost see reinforcements behind him. Kakashi bit his finger and did several signs before flipping and landing on the ground with a thud. Beneath his sign he forced more chakra than usual to call on someone other than Pakkun. What he got was a silver wolf the half the size of a house. Kakashi himself backed up shocked at what he'd done. This was not his summons.

This was his fathers.

Akita, the she-wolf, was as strong if not more so than even the chief-toad of Jiraiya's summons or the purple snake Orachimaru liked to summon. Mystified Kakashi stared at the phenomenon. He didn't have enough chakra to pull this off. Since the day he had accepted the sharingan that summons was out of his reach forever and yet he'd done it with such ease.

The she-wolf threw back her head and gave a loud cry into the night that shook the ground Kakashi stood on. Akita turned towards him her teeth bared.

"Son of the White Fang consider yourself privileged this night. Your father's blood calls out to me and I answered. We do not have a pact and if you attempt to summon me again it will destroy you." Her voice was deep and threatening. Kakashi was on his butt staring up at the figure as she sniffed him and blew out her nose sending the hood of the cloak off of his head and revealing him completely.

"Pakkun has made me aware of your misfortunes at a great risk to his own life because I do not find myself concerned with mortal affairs often except to those who prove themselves worthy. I chose to take pity on you for the sake of your father and nothing more so do not consider yourself worthy pup. The Hatake family is a proud family and my kind chooses to serve them well. I will not let their blood line end with a pathetic wretch like you."

Mystified Kakashi nodded. The shock that hat taken a hold of the men coming after him was gone. And they advanced ready to kill him again.

"Now leave. I will give you enough time."

Kakashi nodded and stood up ready to leave when he turned around. "Do not destroy the village."

The wolf snapped at him while swiping a claw at three men and sending them flying. "You dare tell me what to do?"

"If you kill any of these men or destroy this village I will end my own life." Kakashi could see that he meant nothing to the wolf, but his blood line did. The Hatake line had a long relation with their dog summons. Akita swore and glared at him, but Kakashi wouldn't back down. He could not leave knowing that the wolf would harm the others.

"So be it. It shall be as you say." Alkitat before turning to her attackers. Kakashi nodded believing the female and ran off into the night unchallenged. The rest of the village feared that he had sent the wolf on them in revenge and that was their main concern. They would not waste one man to run after him as long as Akita was in thier world.

Surprised he still had chakra Kakashi sent it to his feet and faster ran than he had in a long time. By the next morning he had made up his mind. Jiraiya's gift would not be in vain. He would hunt Sakura down and bring her back to the village before committing Seppiku with his father's sword. What he had done was unforgivable and it was the only way to relieve his unborn child. Hopefully Sakura could be persuaded to keep the child to continue the Hatake line so that Akita would not seek her revenge on the village. It was highly unlikely, but when it came to summoning wolves you could not be sure. That was why Kakashi choose most often to summon dogs who had respect for his words and wishes. Wolves did as they pleased forever free even in a summons.

Kakashi took a second to rest and eat before continuing. He would run himself ragged looking for her. That was all that mattered right now. All that he could do.


	9. POW

Hola! What's up chicos? XD

Anyway just wanted to say thanks for the support for this story so far and I do think that this chapter is going to give you a whole lot to think about. Hope you don't kill me for it.

chapter rating:

Disclaimer: I still do not own that blond male so quit asking...Naruto will never be mine.

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P.O.W.

Sakura didn't know how long she had slept, but it was hunger that rose her from her dreamless state. Sitting up she put a hand to her eyes and rubbed them slowly in circles trying to wake them up.

"I told you she was waking up. Should've killed her while she was asleep, would have been a hell of a lot less noisy. Now she'll scream."

Sakura froze at the voice and a cold weight fell in her gut. Someone else was here and she was in trouble. Her left hand was by her thigh and she moved it slowly towards her pouch as she pulled back her right hand to stare at the figures. The intruders were two men standing at the entrance of the cave with the dying sun at their back.

Sakura blinked at the harsh light and held up her right hand thinking maybe she could talk to them. "I'm from the Leaf village," she spoke out loudly. It was a lie because by now she was a missing nin with no right to call the village her home, but she hoped that it would be enough to stop the guys from doing anything stupid. She didn't want to have to kill anyone, but she was resolved to do it if she had to. Her hand inched in her pouch and she pulled out a kunai.

The taller male on the left laughed and Sakura's eyes narrowed on the thing protruding from his back. It could be any type of weapon from the look of it. The man stopped his laughter and his silhouetted figure shook it's head. She couldn't make out any distinctive figures on the men because they were so far off and covered in shadows.

"Well that's a duh. Have you taken a look at your head band lately?" His voice was mocking as he made a move with his hand. "I sure the hell don't think that's the sand insignia." It took a second but Sakura realized the man was mocking her and she grounded her teeth in annoyance. The figure just continued, "The question is what's a little Leaf doing so far away from the tree?"

The man made another gesture and Sakura felt a chill run down her spine. The guy knew she was a ninja and wasn't at all intimidated by that fact. The gravity of the situation landed on her and she moved slowly to her feet not bothering the act that she had a weapon in her hand and her other hand was resting near the pouch on her side. She cursed herself for being to tired to put a few traps around the place before she fell asleep. She should have done something to protect herself and now it was going to cost her.

"Oh look at that," the man nudged the smaller one beside him. She couldn't tell if he was a man or woman. "The little leaf is prickly. I want to see the white of your eyes when I kill you." The man reached behind him and pulled out something that was a weapon. From its shape Sakura was sure it was a kunai and prepared herself, but when the man propelled it out of his hand it wasn't at her, but at the kindling and the wood burst into flames. The thing had been tagged.

With new light Sakura glared at her harassers when the blood fell from her face and the kunai dropped from her hand. They were both wearing black coats with clouds. Red clouds.

The taller man that was darker than the other laughed and reached behind him pulling out a wrapped sword. There was something off about his skin color, but Sakura couldn't seem to comprehend its odd color. The smaller man was pale with dark eyes and even darker hair.

"Kisame," the smaller one spoke for the first time in a commanding tone. Louder he seemed to be addressing Sakura, "I'm afraid that you've stumbled into our camp and worse you know we're here. You cannot survive."

At the last words Kisame ran towards Sakura with a grin that reminded her of a satisfied predator. There was nothing human about it. She had to survive this. Time seemed to slow down and she realized with horror that for once she was alone. Completely alone.

There was no Sasuke to jump in front of her. No Naruto to push her aside. No Lee to come to the rescue. No Kakashi to sweep her in his arms.

She would have to save herself this time. Pulling up her kunai and sending chakra to her feet she side stepped at the last second and deflected the blade with her own. She had been doing more than just learning medical techniques from Tsuande these past few months. She was stronger than she looked as she pushed the metal aside and bolted to the cave opening. Kisame recovered and was on her again in a second. Turning she tried to catch the blade again, but this time it caught her arm and sent her flying the kunai went in a completely other direction.

Sakura hit the wall and balanced herself with her opposite arm. Her right arm tingled and she got a funny sensation that ran up it. She stared at it with mixed horror and fascination. Her chakra in the arm felt completely zapped. Had she not been in tune with her chakra she might not have noticed it at all, but she knew something was wrong with it and she didn't need a Hyuuga to tell her that.

Kisame was standing behind the fire and she realized as the light danced across his face what was so odd about him. His skin was blue and it looked like he had gills. Horrified she gripped the handle of another kunai hard between her left handed fingers. This one was tagged though she kept it hidden from view.

"What's wrong Pinky?" There was a flash of that predatory grin again as he heaved the gigantic sword in his hands again. Sakura decided not to wait. Throwing one kunai she reached down and threw two more. Kisame laughed and dodged the first tagged one, but the other two tagged collided with each other in mid air causing the entire cavern to shake with a defining roar. Not waiting for the smoke to settle Sakura turned towards the rock behind her and sent her remaining chakra to her fist. She knew how Tsuande did it, but she'd never done it before herself.

Her fist collided with the rock and it gave into her defying all laws as she grasped it in a fist yanking it out. She heard Kisame's curse and threw the boulder in her fist at the fish man breaking it into a thousand pieces. Sakura sent the rest of her remaining chakra to her feet and ran out the cave and into the forest.

Sakura was shaking from chakra depletion and weak as she ran blindly. All her supplies would be under rocks and debris. All she had left was a few kunai and weapons in her pouch and the clothes on her back. Running wildly she didn't see the root until it took her down and onto her hands and feet. Tears swelled up in her eyes as she looked back on her swelling ankle and cursed knowing she didn't have enough chakra to even heal that.

Sitting up she glanced around in the dark searchingly and found it quiet. She couldn't see anyone, but she knew that someone in the woods was out there and watching her. Forcing herself to her feet she gripped another kunai in her left arm and struggled to turn herself in a circle. She thought about the other man in the cave and shut her eyes.

She didn't want to die anymore. She wanted to live. She wanted to be happy. She wanted to start over.

"Please," Her voice was near hysterical as she yelled to the trees. "I...I have nothing to do with the Leaf Village anymore. I'm a missing nin now." She waited, but there was nothing in return. Reaching up she pulled off her head band and threw it on the ground walking around slowly. She knew he could hear her.

"I'm not a Leaf Ninja anymore! I gave it up! I ran away!" There was still silence and she found out that she was angry, furious even that he was doing this to her. If he was going to kill her than he should have done it all ready. What the hell was he playing with her for? Was everything she was supposed to be some sort of game? Her crush, her life, her virginity, her death? Was she not in control of anything.

Throwing her hands down she lost her temper. "I RAN AWAY SO LEAVE ME ALONE! I don't care! I left Naruto and the others! What more do you want from me?" Tears ran down her eyes as she dropped the weapon on the ground at her feet. "Enough. I've given it all up! Damn you!" She stomped her feet and was no longer sure if she was yelling at the man hiding in the woods or someone else.

"I don't want to die." Her voice grew softer as she fell to her knees clutching her stomach. "I don't want this baby. I want to be me again. I want to laugh with my friends. I want to be with my family. I want to stop looking over my shoulder wondering if he's going to be around the corner. I want my life back." She was rocking herself back and fourth and mumbling. The chakra she'd used was coming back to bit her and she found that she could barely keep her eyes open.

Suddenly there was a slight rustle in the wind and a figure appeared at her side. She glanced up to see dark onyx eyes and that black hair that she'd loved hanging in his face.

"Sasuke."

And knowing she was safe Sakura let go and fell back into darkness again.

* * *

Kakashi stopped by the water's edge and leaned down to cup some in his hands and take a drink before splashing his face. For two days straight he had run through every corner of the forest he knew looking for the pink haired woman and trying to hide from her search party. It would be no good to Sakura if he was caught.

"Or if you die on your feet," Kakashi muttered to himself and sat down on the bank. Sakura was somewhere out there and he was going to find her if it was the last thing that he did. Glancing up Kakashi caught sight of Pakkun and Ryaine. He had summoned the two yesterday when he had lost her trail in hopes that the two of them could lend him a hand. He'd also asked the pug what he had done with the wolf. It turned out that it was Pakkun who had gone to her and asked for help, though he promised Kakashi it would be the last time so he had better watch his own ass more carefully.

"Did you find anything?"

"Yea, it's short and doesn't last long, but there's a bit of a trail east of here. Less than a mile actually. After that I just don't know," Pakkun shook his head and Kakashi got up nodding to his trusted companion. Pakkun was a lot of things, but when the chips were down he found that he was one Kakashi could trust.

The two dogs disappeared in smoke and Kakashi picked himself up and started out in the morning sun again.

* * *

Sakura sat up again with a groan. She had a massive headache and an even larger hunger in her stomach that was added to from the sweet smell of fish cooking. Opening her eyes she was surprised to find herself deep in the forest near a river. She had never seen this part and was sure that she had gotten even farther away from Konoha somehow. Trying to remember Sakura closed her eyes and saw his face. A light smile lighted her face. She was so happy he was here. There was rustle beside her and she turned grinning to Sasuke.

She saw Kisame.

The grin faded and she tried to jump to her feet, but her stomach flopped and she grasped it to turn instead to her side and give a dry heave. Morning sickness. From the day she found out she was pregnant Sakura knew what to call it. Only now it looked like she didn't have anything to throw up.

"You should rest." That voice was the same from the day before and she realized that it was the smaller man. Glancing at him she saw his pale face coming out of the cloak and that black hair. He looked so much like Sasuke and with a groan she realized it had been him last night instead of her friend.

"Yeah we're not going to kill you," Kisame spat. Sakura looked at him hard and saw with satisfaction that there was a band aid on his cheek. Good at least she had got him a little.

The small man placed a small plate of food in front of her and then turned away with his back to her. Did he honestly think she was so pathetic that he didn't have to keep an eye on her? Moving Sakura realized that he was right. She wasn't going to be going anywhere. Picking up the plate with the fish her stomach grumbled and she threw caution to the side. These two men could just slit her throat instead of wasting poison anytime they wanted to.

After a few bites of silence while Kisame sat to one side polishing the hilt of his sword and the small man just sat there Sakura decided to speak. She found that she wasn't that scared of being in their presence. She knew she was completely out of control of everything. If she lived or died it was because they decided it was so and there was nothing she could do about it and despite her spill last night she realized that right now she was fine with it. With that decision out of her hands for now she could just exist without the burden.

"Why didn't you kill me?"

Kisame snorted. "I wanted to and would have. Itachi's the one who decided we should keep you alive." Sakura's fork dropped as she stared at the other man with fear and understanding. That's why he looked so much like him.

"You-You're Sasuke's brother?"

Itachi barely glanced her way and it was such a Sasuke thing to do that she shook her head and giggled like an idiot. She figured she must be crazy having breakfast with two Akatsuki members, one that had murdered his whole clan no less. "No wonder I thought you were Sasuke last night." It was the wrong thing to say as a flare flashed in his eyes that didn't last a second. Kisame thought it was funny though and laughed throwing his head back.

Itachi got off the rock he was sitting on and moved towards her. "Last night you said that you'd left Naruto. What's your relationship with him?"

Sakura narrowed her eyes. Had she said that? And if she did why did they want to know?

"I don't know what you're talking about." She surprised herself as she stared in those unforgiving eyes. "I don't remember saying that."

Itachi pulled out a kunai and threw it at her feet causing Sakura to flinch back. "I don't think that's a healthy decision for a pregnant woman to take. You should be considering your unborn child."

Kisame choked on his piece of fish. "You have got to be kidding? She's pregnant?" The fish man stared at her with different eyes. "You mean to tell me that this runt of a woman is pregnant and I haven't been getting laid in months?"

Sakura stared at the ground and suddenly didn't feel like eating anymore. "You can go ahead and kill me. I don't know why you want to know about Naruto, but I'm not answering your questions. I don't care what happens to the baby."

"Hell for all you know it could be your brothers," Kisame gave another laugh. "Don't want to kill your niece or nephew do you Itachi? Don't want to kill your family."

The black haired man stayed impassive at the poke on his crimes, but Sakura puckered her lips. It had been what she had dreamed of, being married to Sasuke and having his children. That was never going to happen though. "It's not Sasuke's," she spat at the laughing fish. "It's Kakashis." She didn't know what possessed her to say it, but she did and watched as confusion landed on Kisame's face.

"Hatake Kakashi?" This time Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," Sakura spoke, "By the Leaf Village orders he raped me and got me pregnant." If she was expecting sympathy or pity she was not going to get it from this crowd.

Itachi moved back to his rock, but Kisame was still shocked. "So that's why he's looking for you."

"What?" Sakura was startled staring at the fish man. "What are you talking about?"

Just as she feared Kisame nodded towards her. "Hatake's been in the woods searching for something. We'd have hit him, but there are Leaf Village ninja combing the woods all around and we can't afford to have the fact that we're here get discovered yet. I guess they were all searching for you."

The way he said it sounded more of an accusation like she was responsible for all his hate than just a hypothesis. "Why do you want to hit him?" she licked her lips curious. She had to make a plan to get away from these two. If she didn't prove herself to be useful to them she saw no reason they would keep her around. She needed to get faraway and faraway fast from the Leaf Village.

"He has some intriguing information," Kisame just grinned up at her with his teeth. "Why are you afraid for hubby?"

"That son of a bitch can rot in hell for all I care," Sakura shot back picking up on his probing. He was trying to judge her reaction on him because he wanted her to get railed up. Thinking clearly now she saw that Kisame was angry he had not gotten his kill last night and wanted her to give him a reason to claim her body. Itachi was the only one who was keeping her safe at the moment. She would have to keep on his good side.

"I won't help you with Naruto, but if you want Kakashi I think I can give you a hand." She spoke to Itachi trying to figure out what was going in on his head. "But I'll need a favor in return. I need to get some protection from the Leaf Village and as far away from here as possible."

"We aren't taken in applications and what makes you think you can be useful?" Kisame shot back at her.

Sakura racked her brain trying to figure out somewhere she could go. Something she could do for them.

"See we should just kill her now and go get Kakashi."

"Wait!" Sakura looked over at Itachi begging him to listen to her. "Kakashi will come after me and I think I can get his guard down or at least make sure he's focused on just me. That way the two of you can take him down without a fight."

"That's all fine and dandy," Kisame rolled his eyes. "But we would kill you right afterwards and we don't need you to take Kakashi."

"Orachimaru. I want to talk to Orachimaru." The idea flashed before Sakura's eyes with ease. Orachimaru was a medic nin and one that didn't like Tsuande. If she could persuade the man he might protect her just to steal Tsuande's student from her. Since meeting the snake at the chunin exams almost two years ago Sakura was scared of him. Scared of what he'd done to Sasuke, but she also knew that Kabuto was there. Despite the fact that he was a traitor Sakura didn't think that Kabuto would leave her at the mercy of Orachimaru by herself. Besides she didn't have any options right now.

"What the hell makes you think that snake is on our side?" Kisame wrinkled his nose in disgust. For a ninja it was really easy to read the fish, no she corrected herself, Shark man's emotions. This was even better.

"I don't want anything to do with the Akatsuki. I'll go to Orachimaru and if you want I'll spy for you."

Itachi spoke up this time standing and shaking his head once. "We already have an inside man, but once we have Kakashi you can go."

Kisame's mouth dropped and Sakura stared at the Uchiha with wide eyes. "And if you want to seek Orachimaru go to Sound and show some of your abilities and he'll find you. Don't try to find him."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kisame stood up."We can't let her go."

"Kisame," Itachi's tone of voice didn't change. "We'll get Kakashi and then let her go. The village is to secure with these many people running around anyway. It doesn't matter if she runs back to the Hokaga with the news because once we have Hatake we'll have to retreat for now. Let it go. We're not here to kill pregnant women."

Sakura could see that Itachi was the one in charge of this two man group and wondered if he was in charge of the Akatsuki too. She decided it was for another time as both Kisame and herself followed the black haired man into the woods after destroying any evidence of a small camp.

* * *

Kakashi fell to the ground when something caught his eye. It was nearing seven thrity, but the there was still enough to the setting sun to catch the metal on the ground. Excitement had been swelling in his chest all morning. The trail that Pakkun had sent him on died, but by noon he'd caught another one and by six he'd found the freshest trail he had seen. It was like she had gotten tired of trying to hide and he was sure he would find her soon.

Walking over to the metal Kakashi grinned as he reached down to pick up her hentai-ate. There was no sign of a struggle so he figured that she was still alive somewhere. To anyone else this would have been a bad omen, but to Kakashi it was a sure sign that she had been through here.

In the next thirty minutes before night fall Kakashi had scanned through the entire area and was about to give up when he caught sight of a torn piece of her clothing. Moments later he felt a great sigh of relief pass through him like a burden had been lifted.

Sakura was sitting barely eight feet in front of him. Taking careful steps Kakashi inched himself towards her when a twig snapped somewhere in the woods. Out of the corner of his eye Kakashi saw an animal jump back from the fallen wood and land on a tree. He swore when Sakura jumped and turned around to face him.

"Sakura hang on," Kakashi spoke in a low whisper and held up his hands. "I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to help you."

"I don't need your help." Sakura snapped back at him. "I've had enough of the village and your help. It was a lie wasn't it?"

Kakashi narrowed his eyes wondering what she really knew about the village. "What was?" He whispered loud enough for her to hear it as he inched forward. She didn't seem to notice the movement at all.

"Teamwork. Protecting your friends before everything else or what am I just not a part of the team? Did that not apply to me or was it just a bunch of words. The village pulled the strings and you danced just like a puppet."

The venom at which she said the words cut at Kakashi. She knew the truth and she was angry. Angry people were not rational and irrational people were dangerous to not only other people but themselves.

"You're right Sakura," Kakashi took another half step keeping eye contact with her. She had a kunai in her hand and it was pressed hard against her throat. If he moved he wasn't sure he could stop her from killing herself and even if he got the kunai there was no guarantee that she wouldn't still get hurt in the process. "I did something that I shouldn't have done. I hurt you. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry," Sakura laughed bitterly. "Sorry doesn't even begin to describe what you're going to be."

Kakashi's foot came down and he realized too late that he had stepped on a trip wire. Several Kunai flew out of the woods from the trap forcing Kakashi forward into the hands of a blue eyed demon. Before he could register it was Kisame a blow came to his kidneys that he couldn't avoid another to the side of his temple.

For the second time in less than a month Kakashi found himself sprawled on the ground knocked out.

"That should do it," Kisame grunted. He pulled the unconscious form up and started to unbutton the man's clothing. Sakura stood aside as Itachi and Kisame began to undress Kakashi's upper half.

"What are you doing?"

"You're still here?" Kisame grumbled. "I suggest you get before I kill you." The shark man turned around and gave her a look that made Sakura seriously consider it, but curiosity kept her there. Itachi looked over at her and answered her question. "We're going to seal his chakra and take him with us. You should leave."

The look in Itachi's eyes was more subdued than Kisame's but she felt she could sense the same killing aurora. Getting the picture Sakura nodded and turned. She would take Itachi's advice and head towards Sound. That didn't stop her from sparing a glance behind her as Itachi cut his thumb and began to write on Kakashi's back.

Later that night she would have sworn she'd heard him screm in pain, but for now she was moving towards her next obsticle and that was to find Orachimaru and Kabuto. She knew she would arrive at sound in two weeks or less.

* * *

Kakashi was awake without being awake. His senses spread from him as his body lay immobile facedown on a cold stone floor. Someone had tied his hands together behind his back again and his legs felt like jelly so he figured the same had been done to them. Behind closed eyes Kakashi thought back to what had happened to lead him here.

He had found Sakura, but she had obviously laid a trap for him and was working with Kisame. That blue freak was the one who had held him still, but Kakashi was sure he was not the one to deliver the blows. Itachi then. According to Jiraiya the group liked to travel in pairs. So Sakura had joined with the Akatsuki. Kakashi didn't think she'd been forced, because the anger she'd used when talking to him sounded to real and full of pain. He knew Sakura was no actor.

Turning his attention back to his body Kakashi tried to summon his chakra and found that he couldn't. Itachi was smart so he didn't doubt that the Uchiha would seal his just meant that he had one less defense at his disposal.

_"You are royally fucked." _

Kakashi rolled his eyes under his lids hearing that voice again. **"What the hell do you want? Better yet what are you?" **

_"Your guardian angel," _the voice shot back with loaded sarcasm. _"You just can't get it right can you? Now she's played you right into the hands of several people that would love to rip you to shreds." _

**"How do you figure that?"**

_"Because your still alive smart ass. They'd have killed you if they didn't want something from you. Remember that chit chat you had with Itachi before you kicked the bucket and left reality? You let it spill that you knew a good bit about the organization and I'm sure they would love how you got your hands on that information." _

Kakashi stopped. The voice in his head was right and Kakashi gave himself two seconds to wonder if he was crazy. Talking to yourself was not a good habit so he had heard and not one that healthy people did.

_"Since when have you ever been 100% buddy?"_

Kakashi scowled and was about to retort when someone came through the door on his left. Sneaking a peak he recognized it as Itachi. He must've been the one to tie a piece of cloth around the sharingan.

"You're at our headquarters Hatake."

"I figured that," Kakashi shot back. Seeing the Uchiha in front of him again did not do well for his nerves, but he decided it was best not to let it show. Itachi was probably here to send him back into his sharingan world and torture him for another three days. Kakashi didn't think he would survive another go around. "Where's Sakura?"

Itachi didn't look surprised at the question, but kneeled down and helped to pick up the man bringing him to his feet. Kakashi swayed and leaned heavily on his right foot trying to keep his balance. Drugs. They must've given him something earlier to make him this dizzy.

"She's gone now."

* * *

Haha! Just when you thought it was over….yeah I know it and you don't have to say a word. Way more angst than you're looking for in this story….

Don't worry I'm going to fast forward for the next chapter. We're not going to go through the torture or whatever because all I'm going to have is some flashbacks or mentions on Kakashi's side.

I think it's about time we started to weave the two of them back together don't you? ^_^

Please review. Give me motivation!


	10. Just Crazy

Wow This story is getting a lot of mixed reviews and a bunch of Kakashi haters. Lol. I did make him into sort of a jackass. Don't worry he's not going to go unpunished for his crimes. This chapter is probably one of the longest ones that I've written for this story. It contains A LOT so pay attention. Lol.

**Chapter Rating: M (for some mature content. Blood, Mentions of Rape and consensual (malexmale, malexfemale), Language)**

**Summary: Chapter One**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. You guys can get over that….,**

**IMPORTANT NOTE: this chapter contains a jump in time. Only way to get them to back together quicker so you guys can stop hating Kakashi. ^_^**

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* * *

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Just Crazy

"Get the hell up. We've got to go."

Those harsh words were followed by a rough kick to the figure huddled with a small blanket on the wooden floor. It's response was a small grunt in acknowledgement. The standing man cocked an eyebrow and scowled placing his foot on a flat hand before pressing down on it with half his weight. The figure beneath him hissed and jerked back.

"Now that I've got your attention," he removed his foot letting him hug the injured hand to his side. The figure's head was shadowed by his bangs and long spiky hair in the dim lighting provided by the rising sun from a single window on the left wall. "We're going on a field trip."

The figure didn't make a move. The man growled and leaned down grabbing the front of his grey shirt and pulling him up to his feet. To stare at him, "When's the last time I've had the chance to turn you inside out?" His other hand reared back, but the figure he was holding didn't seem to care. His head was to the side and his eyes were closed as if he was still asleep.

"Kisame, Itachi wants you."

The voice sent a jolt through the figure and Kisame sneered when he stood up straight and one black eye widened to stare at the doorway where Sasori stood. It unnerved Kisame that the other man could easily put that much fear into the figure when he himself could not get a response. Deciding to use that against him Kisame threw the figure back on the ground. There was no protest or sound as the man caught himself with his hands and knees.

"Fine, but then whose going to make sure he gets ready to go?" Kisame jerked his finger behind him. Sasori's blank faced cocked to the side shadowed by the fluorescent light outside the cold room. Sasori's face didn't change, but anyone could have caught the slight amusement in his voice.

"I make sure he's ready to go when you and Itachi are," Sasori walked in and the figure closed his eyes as his fists clenched against the ground holding him up. He could hear the echo as Kisame left the room with a bang of the door closing.

Sasori took quiet and deliberate steps to the figure in front of him and kneeled down. The black cloak of the Akatsuki uniform sprawled out underneath the red head as he reached out and a cold hand touched the man's bare cheek. The figure pulled back and stared up at Sasori with one black eye, the other was hidden under his bangs.

Sasori smiled slightly and cocked his head to the side, "What's wrong White Fang?"

Kakashi couldn't from trembling slightly at the sight of that smile. When he had first been captured by the Akatsuki they had been very forceful when trying to get him to talk about what he knew exactly about their organization. One by one he had been tested. Kisame and Hidan had been supervised when they had tortured him in fear of the men taking it too far and actually killing him, but it had been Sasori who had lost control and nearly killed Kakashi. The man in front of him had called him White Fang the moment the two of them had met.

After being beaten and drugged the man had brought out a special gift. It was a two puppets in the exact replica of his father in his youth and Sakura. The last one Kakashi understood when Deidara had let it slip during their session that his father had killed Sasori's own parents. The White Fang was feared in the Sand Village and was known for being ruthless. But Sakura was perfect. The man was an artist when it came to creating puppets. It looked exactly like the woman.

And the Sakura puppet haunted his dreams for months afterwards.

When Kakashi had spat blood at him Sasori had lost it and had it not been for Itachi checking in on the two of them Kakashi would have been dead. Even when Itachi had pulled Sasori off of him the red head had smiled covered in Kakashi's blood. And what made it worse was that he wasn't even really human.

"You don't have to worry Kakashi," Sasori laughed pushing Kakashi on to his ass. Moving to stand in front of him he placed a foot on Kakashi's chest and kneeled down to brush Kakashi's hair out of his eyes and his finger ran down to a scar showing despite Kakashi's shirt on his upper chest. Courtesy of the last time the two of them had been alone together.

"Unfortunately I have strict orders not to touch you." Sasori backed off and walked towards the door. "Get up and come on Kakashi."

This time Kakashi pushed himself to his feet willingly. He did not want to give the man any reason to attack him. Sasori's back was turned to him, "You know they might not want me to touch you, but I'll always be there waiting. And watching." Sasori's head turned halfway around to look at him without moving his neck. Kakashi knew that he couldn't be human and composed himself. The guy was just trying to get under his skin.

"_And it works doesn't it," _that sarcastic voice spoke inside Kakashi's head again. The white silver haired jounin had become used to its presence and was even grateful for it. Long weeks alone in that room would have made him crazy without anyone to talk to. Deidara and others had poked their heads on him before to hear him talking aloud to the voice as if it was real. They thought he was crazy and would laugh about it.

Maybe he was.

After the first month or two of continuous torture Kakashi had not broken. Of that he was completely grateful of. He had broken down several times and cried and begged not to be released, but to be killed. He couldn't continue living in the pain. And then suddenly it stopped. They didn't come to his room to torture him, but came with requests. Spar with me. Clean this up. Paint this wall.

Kakashi had done it all. In less than a year's time he had become the Akatsuki's maid, teacher, plaything, and errand boy. He'd never left headquarters without an escort and without the use of his chakra there was no way he was going to escape any of them. Hell even Tobi could order him around and he would do it without a second thought, though Tobi was nicer about it and snuck him in a rice ball or muffin when it was his turn to feed their prisoner.

Every once in a while they seemed to remember what he knew and would drill him with questions again hoping to catch him off guard. Pull him into a corner when he finally stopped jumping up at every sound and beat him demanding to know where he'd learned his information. Kakashi's lips had remained sealed on that at least. In his spare time Kakashi had worked his body making sure that he'd never grow weak physically. Just because he didn't have chakra didn't mean he couldn't work out. He didn't get as big as Gai though because Kakashi's skills had always been in being faster than his opponent and making quick attacks. He was faster than he'd ever been without using chakra.

Kakashi followed Sasori obediently.

"_Woof Woof," _the voice that he'd started to call Sano mocked him. Kakashi pictured a face with a tongue hanging out panting. He frowned slightly, he was a dog. Kakashi Hatake the great Copy Nin was a dog to the Akatsuki. He had tried to kill himself. Once twice. Three times. He'd lost count. Every time someone would show up and rescue him. He was not getting the easy way out with this and so he gave up trying.

"Kakashi," the whisper of his name jerked Kakashi back to the present. He was standing in the common room at the headquarters. The others looked up and laughed at him, but Kakashi's jaw tightened and he stiffened. The man behind him was Hidan and he could feel the heat of his body as he stood directly behind him.

When Hidan had his turn to torture him Kakashi had been given four days of straight hell. The man's ability heal himself was a lot of fun apparently as he struck Kakashi over and over again. The man was sick. Five times Kakashi had to be revived by a medic so the torture could continue. Kakashi wasn't allowed to go to the bathroom or anything and was covered in piss and shit within the second day. He couldn't control his bowels movement when his body shook over a new wound. By the third day Kakashi started breaking down. He cried. He cried like a baby and so hard that he couldn't see anything in front of him. It was all just a blur.

Then Hidan had started to ask him about his past. Apparently Kakashi had intrigued him somehow and there was nothing he wanted less. Hidan had found out about the rape he'd given Sakura and even his own mission. The man thought it was funny and had him cleaned before molesting him and raping him right in front of Itachi who had been assigned to monitor Hidan's activities. Kakashi's body had been in no condition to accept the man's rough treatment and before it was over he'd thankfully passed out. When he woke up it was Kisame's turn to torture him.

Hidan was the only one whose taste ran that way and since then Kakashi had spent a few nights tied to the sadistic mans bed. Shaking Kakashi moved to the side, but it was useless. Hidan had found his prey again and pushed him back against the wall sticking a leg between Kakashi's own to help pin him there.

"Uh," Kakashi saw Deidara from behind the man sitting on the couch and hoped that he would intervene. The blonde couldn't stand Hidan. "Just don't start making out hun."

"I'll do what I want," Hidan spoke back and cupped Kakashi's jaw making him look into Hidan's eyes. The other man didn't move and Kakashi couldn't breath waiting for something to happen. Even Sano was quiet.

Suddenly Hidan drew a hand back and punched Kakashi sending him to the floor. It was rare for the man to act like this, but when he did there was little anyone could do to stop him.

"I can't stand that." Kakashi looked up at Hidan and saw his fists clenched to his sides. Deidara had gotten to his feet in case he needed to restrain the man and Tobi had appeared out of now where.

"What is it?" the mask tilted to the side curious.

"That look." Kakashi frowned, he had never heard about this before. "That dumbass look like you still got it in your mind that you're better than us." Now Kakashi was confused. "You're still defiant, like a caged animal just humoring his owners."

There was a low chuckle that startled everyone in the room. It took Kakashi several breaths to realize he was the one laughing as Kisame and Itachi finally joined the group. Hugging his side's Kakashi stared up at all of them on the floor through his bangs.

Sano was laughing too. _"That's crazy. Look at you he could ask you to lick the floor and you would do it in a heartbeat."_

"Stop laughing," Hidan's face grew dark as he kicked him in the legs, but Kakashi continued to laugh. Taking a breath he looked up at Hidan.

"You are crazy un," Deidara came up. "He'd do anything we ask him to. He's worse than Sasori's puppet. Isn't that right Mr. Copy nin un?"

Kakashi had finally calmed down when Itachi appeared and told him to get up. He and Kisame had a job to do and the two of them were going to take him.

"If that's true then why the hell don't we have his informant Huh?" Hidan turned to Deidara as Kakashi walked out the door with the three of them. Outside the two walked out the back way towards the gates that led to the woods. Itachi glanced over at Kakashi's appearance underneath the backpack that the silver haired man was wearing.

"When's the last time you bathed?" Itachi raised an eyebrow and Kakashi tried to remember. "Days ago." Despite Itachi's bad reputation Kakashi had grown at ease around him. The Uchiha acted like an the ANBU he had once been saying very little and barely starting a fight. He didn't have to watch his back around him twenty four seven.

"When we get to the camp site take a bath in the river," Itachi commanded and then turned his head in silence. It was Kisame who grunted and made a rude comment. The three of them traveled as swiftly as they could on foot without using any chakra as they made their way. When night fell Kakashi pitched their tents, fixed their food, and then took his own bath. It was a routine of mundane things that he'd gotten used to.

"Here," Itachi threw a pair of scissors at him when he reached camp. Like Tobi the Uchiha wasn't so bad with him. He allowed him some luxuries and one of the things was a haircut. Sitting in front of a pocket size mirror from the bag Kakashi took the scissors and cut it off. It would be a terrible job, but it was better than what he had. His hair had grown out to his shoulders in the back and stuck out like a sore thumb in the front covering his left eye and impairing his right eyes vision. Now he cut it so it stopped at the base of his neck and left his right eye free. He decided to leave the silver strands over his left eye. Since they had taken away his hentai-ate it would act as a disguise as well as cover the sharingan. Kakashi did not want to look at the scar he couldn't stand how he'd failed Obito.

They traveled in the same manner for three more days until Kakashi started to recognize their surroundings. They were approaching the Leaf Village. Kakashi stopped mid step and both the other two reigned back to stare at him. "What's the matter?" Kisame snorted. "Let's get moving."

To state the obvious Itachi glanced at his partner. "We're on the outskirts of the Leaf Village." It wasn't obvious to anyone. In fact the only marker to distinguish one part of another was two miles off, but this was a favorite path for returning ANBU after a mission. Anyone who had served as the village's elite protectors knew that this was the actual boundary for the Leaf Village territory.

The fish man grinned, "Oh I get it now. Going all soft because we're almost home Kakashi?"

Kakashi didn't answer, but glared at the man with his one eye. There was only one reason that they would be in the Leaf Village and that was to get the nine tails. Kakashi's jaw clenched.

"_What's the matter?" _the voice inside his head Sano asked. _"You can't stop it even if you wanted to. The only mercy you'll find here is if you cross an ANBU and get killed. At least it'll be quick."_

"**No,"** Kakashi answered him mentally. **"I failed Sakura and Sasuke."** He had been told with laughing faces how his top student had betrayed the village two and a half years ago to join Orachimaru. Kakashi blamed himself. Had he still been there and none of this happened he could have prevented the last Uchiha from making that terrible mistake.

"I'm not going to fail Naruto." He muttered the words low and stared at the two men in front of him. Chakra seal be damned he was not letting them take the nine tailed fox. He would die before he let something like that happen.

The two of them didn't hear his proclamation, but none the less Itachi like always seemed to know exactly what was one everyone's mind. "We have a meeting with a client." Kakashi zeroed in on Itachi as he continued. "Our target is not Naruto for the time being."

Kakashi didn't move as Itachi turned from the two of them and continued to walk forward. The other ninja were held back because of Kakashi's inability to use chakra. They had to walk like normal citizens and Kakashi took pride in the fact that he was the cause of it. At least he could hold them back in one way.

The wounded dog didn't know if he could trust the man and stood still before Sano appeared in his ear like an annoying fly. _"He's never lied to you. Get the hell over it and move on. The sooner it's over the sooner you'll be back in your cell."_

It was pathetic when Kakashi stopped to think about it, but there was no place that he would rather be at the moment then in his cell at the Akatsuki headquarters where he knew that he was safe. Deciding that as usual Sano was right Kakashi walked on with the two members.

Three days later they stopped on the other side of the Leaf Village six miles away from the main gates. It was barely used and completely covered. When Itachi announced that this was where they were going to meet their client Kisame had laughed every time he caught Kakashi's eye. It annoyed and put the missing nin on edge. When the shark man was happy it was not a god sign for anyone within the vicinity.

"They should be here tomorrow in the morning." Itachi announced that night before going to bed. Kisame rolled his eyes preparing to take his watch as Kakashi curled up on the ground near the small dying embers of the fire. The silver haired man found himself watching the stars unable to sleep when Kisame's voice flooded into his ears from a whisper in the shadows.

"Tomorrow. You are going to have so much fun tomorrow." They both knew who he was talking to and it made Kakashi shiver. The man was just too happy for Kakashi's taste. "You're going to see someone you haven't seen in a long time."Then the man laughed again.

Itachi had come out for his watch half the night later and Kakashi was still awake. For a while the two of them stared in silence at the stars. Kisame's snores could be heard from the tent in the background slow and steady. Kakashi was grateful it wasn't as loud as Naruto's or he might have a pounding head ach to go with his insomnia. Thinking about Naruto made a small smile appear on Kakashi's face as he thought back to younger days.

That was the only thing that kept him from going completely insane. Kakashi didn't live in the present, but resided in the past. All of it. From the moment that he graduated, to Obito and his teams deaths, up to his own team seven. To their first training session and the first time Naruto and Sasuke had finally put their differences aside to protect the ones they loved. From Sakura's amazing battle with Ino where she proved herself against the other woman's family technique, one that was difficult for any ANBU to break.

He lived in remembering how they had grown. Before Tsuande had ever called him into that office to give him that damned mission.

Itachi shifted making noise and startling Kakashi. The man had never made any noise in his life when he was on duty. Perfection didn't need an explanation and that was all the Uchiha was.

"Kakashi," Itachi's voice was softer than Kisame's, but unlike his partner it didn't hold the malice that the other man did. In fact out of all the Akatsuki members Kakashi had noticed a significance difference in the Uchiha from his partners. Even Nagato seemed to think that what they were doing was just and they did it with all their hearts. Some for their personal reasons and others like Hidan and Kisame for their blood lust.

Itachi was the odd man out. He didn't care if they caught the nine-tailed fox or not, at least he didn't seem to. He had no passion for what he was doing. He just seemed burned out carrying orders to their fullest.

Kakashi didn't answer because they both knew he was awake and listening.

"Why did you rape Sakura?"

Now that woke Kakashi completely up from any daze that he was in. No one had asked him why in years. The Akatsuki members had chosen instead to show him images of her, laugh at him, and tell him he was just as bad as they were if not worse. They had just accepted it as fact.

"_Tell him,"_ Sano voiced inside his head, _"Tell him. What's the worst that can happen? Maybe the Uchiha has a soul." _Sano's voice was tired and sarcastic. For once Kakashi agreed with him completely and told Itachi his story.

He hadn't realized how much it hurt as his old wounds opened. Itachi listened to everything. From the moment Kakashi had been given the mission to the second that he'd left the village. He knew what Kakashi had said and why he'd done it. When the old dog had finished his tail he was exhausted and could barely keep his eyes open. In a few hours the sun would be coming up.

Kakashi didn't know what he expected out of the Uchiha. Revulsion, laughter, sympathy, but what he got was silence. Itachi shifted once more and glanced over at him. It was the first time that he'd ever truly seen the man. Itachi was nothing more than just a young boy compared to him. There had to be only an eight year difference, but that cold bloodied killer looked like a child.

"I'm sorry. I wish that I had been the only one."

Kakashi barely heard the words as he finally gave out to his body's needs and fell asleep on the cold ground.

He was woken up later when Kisame had tossed a bucket of cold water on his face. He'd gotten maybe four hours of sleep and moved to get things ready. It seemed that the Uchiha had made breakfast and packed up the camp site leaving very little for their captive to do. For this Kakashi was extremely grateful.

"_Well what do you know," _even Sano was shocked at the behavior.

"Here put something descent on." Kisame threw him an Akatsuki uniform that Kakashi put on with reluctance. He was in no mood to fight with the man and ignored Kisame's comments until the shark said something that brought him back to reality with a bang.

"It looks like that's them coming now. You got that on pretty boy?" Kisame looked behind him, "You wanna look good for your girlfriend right?"

Kakashi narrowed his eyes confused until three figures appeared in front of them. One was recognizable immediately and put Kakashi on high alert as the snake known as Orachimaru walked into their site followed closely by Kabuto. It might have been a few years, but there was no denying that the older man was the young boy that Kakashi had fought in Sasuke's hospital room. The Jounin wanted to know what was going on. The last time he'd checked the Akatasuki did not get along with the snake.

He was curious enough to actually draw attention to himself and ask that question when the smell of perfume flooded his sensitive nose and he found himself staring at a young and beautiful nightmare.

Sakura Haruno was standing on Orachimaru's left in a tight fitting grey uniform covered with armor. Her hair was still short, but pulled back into a small pony tail that stuck up in the back of her hair. Her face was set in a dark expression as her teal eyes never strayed from Kisame. She hadn't even noticed him, but Kakashi couldn't bring himself to pull away from her.

"My my Itachi, aren't we looking rather worn out."

Whatever game Orachimaru was playing this time Kakashi didn't think it was going to work. The older Uchiha was more than enough of a match for the reptile. At least he hoped.

"huh," Kisame spoke moving his sword to rest on his other shoulder. "What's up Pinky?"

Sakura narrowed his eyes at Kisame, "My name's Sakura." Her voice was deeper than he remembered, not as high pitched, but it was rich. Kisame leaned forward on his sword and looked at her with a smirk, "Grown some balls have you girly?"

Surprisingly Sakura didn't flinch under his gaze, but held it with a snarl of her own. "Something like that maybe." Kakashi drowned out the rest of the conversation when Kabuto opened his mouth to discuss some sort of exchange between the Akatsuki organization and the three of them. There was a mention of Sasuke, but Kakashi didn't even register it as he continued to stare open mouthed at Sakura.

She'd grown. The young girl from his dreams no longer existed.

The dreams that had plagued him since he'd raped her being in his bed and leaving him with a yearning had not stopped. If anything she was a light in that darkened cell and gave him another reason to live. Sometimes he would relive that night, but she would be burning for him instead. And the two of them would spend all night wrapped in each other's arms. Then other nights they would be married and she a blushing bride. His darker dreams had her doing things that would made her young face blush red at just the mention of it.

Staring at her now Kakashi could readily see the differences between his dreams and reality. That young woman was grown. Her body had filled out. Her eyes were darker. Her face was chiseled to be a goddess and the roundness of her mouth sent a stirring to her stomach.

"Dumbass," Kisame shoved him forward making Kakashi stumble and wonder when the shark had come towards him. He had zoned out apparently when he stared at Sakura because now the others were staring at him like an he was an idiot. Kakashi glanced up and tried to catch Sakura's eyes, but her arms were crossed and her face turned to the side pretending he was nothing.

"You got lunch to make. We got a truce for tonight at least," Kisame grunted, "So could you quit staring at your girlfriend and get started already?"

"I've already told you to shut the hell up," Sakura shot back at the shark man. She took a step towards him, but Orachimaru held out a hand and stopped her, "Now Sakura you really should keep a better hold of that temper of yours." The man's silky voice made Kakashi's head jerk towards him. Orachimaru was staring at him like he was some sort of prize and Kakashi took a half step back. Sano swore in his head and Kakashi had to agree. The man was creeping him out to no extent.

"Lord Orachimaru are you should we should them, " Kabuto spoke up turning towards his master and Kakashi was grateful for it. The brat might not have known it, but he was just glad that he wasn't the under the gaze of those eyes any longer.

"Why Kabuto we have a truce, but if you're that worried then why don't you help Kakashi-kun," Orachimaru remarked sending a shiver down the mentioned man's back at the way he said his name. Orchimaru turned from Kabuto and placed a hand on the small of Sakura's back pushing her closer to the Akatsuki campsite. "I'm sorry I couldn't bring Sasuke with us. I was afraid that he would think of it as a chance to reacquaint himself with his brother and his long lost sensei."

Sakura jumped when Orachimaru mentioned Sasuke. Kakashi knew all about the youngest Uchiha's quest after leaving the village and Ino behind. He was after power to destroy Itachi, but he worried that the boy was playing with a bad hand. The snake and Itachi were beyond strong and he could only hope that Sasuke knew what he was doing. When Orachimaru followed close behind Sakura nudging her forward Kakashi made a move towards them only to be stopped when Kabuto jumped in his way.

"Come on Kakashi I have to supervise you." A glint from the sun shined in Kakashi's eye making him wince. The boy was still as disgusting as Kakashi had remembered him. Even that fake smile crossed his face like it had years ago. "I'm actually surprised you're still alive. I would have thought the Akatsuki would have killed you by now considering how much of a failure you've become. I mean I heard about your declaration about Sasuke, even sealing the curse wasn't enough to keep him from coming to us."

Kabuto continued to talk while Kakashi moved to start cutting up some vegetables to add to the meal they were apparently going to share with the other group. This had to be the oddest meeting that Kakashi had ever seen in his life and one of the most dangerous ones. Three S-ranked missing nins, one a sanin and one the highest rank criminal sitting down for a meal. His eye never left them as he chopped the food in his hands. The men weren't saying anything. Itachi was content to be silent, Orachimaru was leaning back with that sly grin on his face, and Kisame had started to rewrap his sword. Kakashi figured the man was putting on a show for Orachimaru, a silent threat if things went wrong. For some reason he didn't think that was working.

Sakura was sitting beside Orachimaru and obviously at ease. Her back was straight and her shoulders thrown back showing off the curve of her breast every time she took a breath. Her pale hands sat folded in her lap and her teal eyes continued to survey the ground around her like she was Orachimaru's body guard. Kakashi stared at her, but if she noticed it didn't show.

Kakashi didn't realize something so small could irk him like that. He couldn't concentrate on anything that he was doing and worked automatically as his eyes created holes in the back and side of her head. He knew that she was aware that he was here and what he was wearing. She also knew his status with the Akatsuki, Kisame had made it clear.

And there she was sitting like a guard or a pet and letting a killing snake put his hands all over her. The thought of Orachimaru's pale skin made him want to grind his teeth. There was something wrong with the whole image, the thought of it and the picture.

"**That scaly piece of shit," **Kakashi thought thinking about it. Sano answered him with a 'tsk' _"Yes that's exactly what he is, but you can't change that right now can you?"_

The sound of that voice seemed to change as it ran in Kakashi's ears. It wasn't as condescending as he remembered it being in the past. Now it just seemed to be voicing a simple fact. _"The problem is that she's letting him do it."_ Sano seemed disgusted at the thought, _"Look at her. He's got his hand on her leg and she doesn't even care. And take a look at Kabuto. He hasn't taken his eyes off of her since they got here."_

Startled at the new information Kakashi stopped what he was doing and looked at the man beside him. Sano had been right, Kabuto was staring directly in their direction. Anyone would have thought that he was watching over his master, but Kakashi followed his gaze directly and found the pink haired woman at the end of it.

What little restraint Kakashi possessed vanished as his fist collided with the makeshift table he was working on and he stood up knocking everything to the ground. He stood facing the five of them with fists at his side. The tension that had built between the two groups broke as Kabuto moved to stop him, but Kakashi dodged to his right leaving the man gripping at air. When Kisame came his way Kakashi picked up the knife and stabbed the man in his upper thigh before Itachi got behind him and put him in a bear hug.

Kakashi had made it halfway before the Uchiha had stopped him. He was standing right in front of Sakura's wide eyes. He shifted in Itachi's hold, but didn't try to break it as his gaze stayed on her. Those pink lips were slightly opened and the bottom one trembled slightly before she swallowed and he followed the muscles of her of her throat.

"Look at me damn it," Kakashi thought almost pleadingly. There was nothing more he wanted at that moment then for her to acknowledge his existence. He had some need for her deep inside him that needed to be fulfilled.

Kisame stepped in front of him blocking his view angry. His fist reared back and Kakashi felt four quick and strong punches to his abdomen and hissed at the pain that exploded in his gut falling forward when Itachi let him go.

"You don't have your dog trained very well," Orachimaru commented with a giggle, "Kakashi's always been a little wild. He's probably still as wild as that wolf he summoned when leaving the village."

"Yea," Kabuto came up beside his master fixing the glasses back onto his face. Kakashi stared up at him cradling his stomach on the floor and biting the inside of his lip. He wished the things had broken into a thousand pieces so maybe the guy couldn't see two feet in front of him. Turning towards Sakura Kabuto's head cocked to the side.

"What do you think Sakura? You've known him the longest so has Kakashi always been this way?" The man was acting like he was taking notes in his head to put on his little ninja cards at home. A lot of good that was going to do him because if he wanted to know the truth then it was right in front of him. Kakashi couldn't do a thing anymore.

Sakura didn't answer him and when Kakashi looked towards her he caught her gaze. Good. He'd forced her to see what had become of him and even if the others couldn't see he saw the sympathy in her eyes. He was not sure what he had hoped to accomplish by making her see him, but he got his answer. And he regretted making her feel that way. Half of him wanted to stand up and take her in his arms and tell her that it was alright. Exactly what he deserved to be exact.

The other half agreed with the voice in his head, _"Take a good look. This is what you've done to the man that saved your life countless times on missions. Don't you remember Zabuza? I jumped in front of you. Or how about that last mission we were on? And I follow orders and this is what I get. This is what you've sentenced me to."_

The injustice of it all made Kakashi feel hollow. Sakura turned her head from him finally and took a step away to answer Kabuto's question.

"Yes. Stubborn."

Kisame pulled Kakashi to his feet and the jounin was pushed towards a tree a good seven yards away and tied up told that he would stay there until tomorrow when they were ready to go. He watched the five of them discuss things with each other silently. They ate and then some things that he couldn't make out exchanged hands. He didn't know what to feel when nothing broke out between the two, but ultimately he was happy there was no fight to protect Sakura.

Sitting there Kakashi finally got some time to do some serious thinking and for once Sano was silent. Being this close to home and seeing Sakura stirred something in his stomach. An emotion that he couldn't name plagued him as Orochimaru and the other two disappeared their negotiations done and over.

Late that night Kakashi finally found the reason for that feeling. He was beyond seeing it as a taboo anymore. Sakura was no longer a little girl and this infatuation he'd had with her in his dreams and wildest thoughts was something more.

He would have her and nothing was going to stop him.

For the first time in years Kakashi had a purpose and couldn't wait for the sun to rise again the next morning. He was going to rescue Sakura and himself if it was the last thing he'd ever do.

_

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_

And that's it folks. The next chapter……just kidding. I figured I might as well do you guys a favor and give you a little more especially considering the fact that I can't stop typing this right now. Lol. So I guess we'll just call this a chapter with in a chapter.

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Sakura breathed a sigh of relief when they finally made it back to the compound. Orochimaru was determined not to leave Sasuke alone again for an entire night. The last time he'd done it Sasuke had nearly destroyed the place. All Sasuke seemed to do was breath and live training. Since he'd joined them a little over a year ago he'd progressed dramatically. She wondered some days if he wouldn't be a match for Orochimaru himself.

All she wanted to do now was go to sleep.

"A penny for your thoughts," Kabuto's voice sang in his ear as he walked towards her from the other hallway. The snake had already left and Sakura had to say that she didn't miss his company. Not that she would ever say that aloud. Unlike Sasuke and Kabuto she knew that her presence here was only tolerated. One reason Orochimaru hadn't sent her away yet was because she was a much needed help to his medic thanks to Tsuande and if he sent her away now there was no telling what Sasuke would do.

Since joining the Uchiha had become very possessive. Had she not known better Sakura would have melted at his feet because finally he was noticing her existence. He would ask her daily if she was okay and if everything was fine especially since she was near the end of her pregnancy. There were times she wondered if he really cared.

She smiled at Kabuto, the medic nin hadn't been that terrible. There was little love between them when it came to things like Orochimaru, but things like that would always be there. It wasn't like she could ever leave now on her own because she knew too much. Kabuto was the loyalist person she'd ever seen and she admired that.

She also admired the fact that he could be kind and generous. He'd brought her under his wing when she came and vice versa. They taught each other knew ways in their field and she connected with him in ways that she would never have dreamed with the Uchiha. He'd kept her going during her pregnancy and in fact had birthed the child finding a suitable surrogate mother until he could be filed away with the others for the snake's use later. Kabuto was also a considerate lover.

After Kakashi Sakura was sure that she was not going to let anyone get inside her again, but over time she'd come to realize how stupid that sounded. She couldn't continue her life tied down to him and had used Kabuto to get past him. The problem was she couldn't do it. He'd been nice enough about it when she'd ended up crying the first and second time, but at the third she knew she was pushing his patience. So she'd closed her eyes and all of a sudden the image of Kakashi fell away and she realized just how different they really were. She guessed it was the fact that both of them had the darkest eyes and silver hair. Now when the two of them met it was always in the dark though she'd never told him why.

Kabuto like Sasuke couldn't stand hearing Kakashi's name. Sasuke because he hated the teacher he'd once adored and trusted and Kabuto for another reason. Some form of rivalry between the two. For some reason she didn't think it was because Kakashi had raped her and forced a child.

Her smile grew wider as she answered his question, "A penny's more than they're worth right now. I'm just tired." She took her hair down and ran a hand through it. The pink locks were probably a mess, but right now she couldn't bring herself to care. Kabuto adjusted his glasses again.

"I think we're all tired. Especially after that fiasco today."

Sakura didn't know what he was trying to get to by bringing it up, but she controlled her emotions. "Just be glad we got through it without a fight. I know I am."

"And here I was thinking that you wanted nothing more than to push those teeth down Kisame's throat."

Sakura giggled. Great if she was giggling than she had to be way more tired than she thought. "True, but I don't want to fight Itachi to get to him. I'm exhausted. Night." She walked away from him before he could continue the conversation. Thinking back on the day brought nothing back but bad memories.

She went to her room and got undressed falling on her bed in nothing but her underwear. Getting under her sheets she stared at the ceiling as her mind wondered.

Seeing Kakashi today had made her a nervous wreck. She hadn't expected him to be alive let alone there at all. She and Sasuke had both agreed that he was probably dead already and he deserved it. It had been easy to think of him as gone, but seeing him today had brought out an emotion that she didn't want to deal with.

Pity.

If she had to give the emotion a name it would be pity. How could she pity the man that had held her down and raped her? Followed the orders blindly lying to all of them saying that there were things more important like your friends and family? She shouldn't be thinking like this.

Turning on her side Sakura drew her legs closer and shifted the pillow. That looks on his face. That eye. He was worn. That much was certain, the life that he'd lived these past two years was not something that anyone would want to dwell on. He hunched over more now like he was defeated. The way he walked and moved seemed slower and more deliberate. That defiance and strong nature in him was gone, at least it was until he'd snapped and tried to come at her.

He'd looked wild and untamed. Exactly like the man from her nightmares and the sensei of her past. She'd never been on the end of it before, always watching him as he went after their enemies on missions. Now she had to admit there was a reason he was feared.

Sakura hated his guts. Of that she was certain, but when he'd fallen to the floor in pain she had to stop herself from reaching out to him. Sakura shook her head and moved on her bed again to distract herself because thinking like that would only mix things up.

There was right and wrong and Kakashi was wrong. He had to pay the price.

Then why did she feel like the villain?

* * *

Four days later Sakura had done her best to put Kakashi at the back of her mind and she'd succeeded. Now she stood in the Sound Village moving through the crowd like she was home. "No," She corrected herself, "This is home."

She walked through the market to buy specific medical supplies that Kabuto had sent her out for. She didn't mind doing it; it got her out of that stuffy place.

Almost halfway through Sakura made a tight turn and almost ran into a chest. The guy was tall and standing there politely waiting due to the crowd. She was about to apologize when she was hit in the back and pushed forward into him completely. She thought she'd lost her footing when two warm hands grabbed a hold of her shoulders.

"Watch it."

His voice was deep as he laughed, "I think you're going to fall if we keep this up. Come on." Without a word he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the edge of the crowd. Sakura's first instinct was to pull her hand away from him, but one look at that well muscled back and short brown hair had her thinking otherwise.

"There. Are you okay?"

He let her go and Sakura wished he hadn't. There was definitely something different about this guy as she stared up into his face. His brown bangs fell in front of his well sculpted face and when he smiled there were the faintest dimples. His eye was completely dark and his left one hidden by an eye patch. She followed the shadow the patch created on his face and found the cutest mole at his jaw line. It wasn't hairy like some old men she had seen, but looked smooth.

"Cat got your tongue?"

Sakura startled and blushed moving her gaze away from his face. Somehow she'd reverted to her younger years when she'd used to do the same to Sasuke. She didn't think anyone could blame her though, the guy was defiantly hot.

"I'm sorry. Thanks."

He chuckled deeply in his throat and it was so smooth. Everything about him was smooth. He wasn't rough like some of the other men she'd come across in her life.

"It's alright. Though if you really want to make it up to me," he leaned over and his face was close to hers, "You could tell me your name because it's not often I come across someone as stunning as you."

Now Sakura knew he was lying. She had just thrown her hair up and was probably sweaty and the clothes she was wearing was something you'd wear to the gym to train in. She was mess.

But she had to give him credit. A man like that could have made anyone feel beautiful.

"Abakura, Sakura." Sakura had changed her last name to at least give her some cover in the village from anyone who could still be looking for her in the Leaf. So far it seemed to be working, but she guessed it was just because no one had expected her to go with the bad guy. Hell Sasuke had nearly had a heart attack when he saw her.

The man pulled away and Sakura found herself wishing that he had not. No one had ever said anything like that to her. When it came to Sasuke and Kabuto they just did the deed and moved on. There was no playful banter or anything because there would be nothing out of it.

"Like the cherry blossom?" He asked though it was evident from the mirth in his eye that he knew. Sakura decided to play his game. Leaning back against the wall she nodded, "Maybe. I guess it's because of my pink hair."

"Really now, I would have never guessed." He smirked at her again and leaned against the wall beside her.

She glanced at him and gave him a the same look back. "What about you? Got a name?"

"Of course. Though," He shifted and put his hands in his baggy black pants. "If you want to know it you'll have to agree to something."

"And what would that be?" She twisted her body against the wall and cocked her head to the side in a flirtatious manner. This was so much fun. She had forgotten how much someone could enjoy something like this.

"You have to agree on a date. Like I said I don't usually meet stunning girls and when I do they're usually taken. So if you're not I don't want to lose this chance."

Sakura bit her lip. Unbelievable. He was Sasuke gorgeous if not more and was asking her out. She thought about Orochimaru and the others for a second. A flash of silver hair passed through her vision and she got angry. Years. It had been years and she still couldn't talk to someone without a memory of Kakashi flashing up?

How long was he going to have a hold on her?

Sakura gave him a smile and shook her head to clear it. No more. She'd prove that she was over him. Glancing at the man in front of her she became more convinced that this was exactly what she needed. A night with someone that she didn't fully trust. Something spontaneous instead of safe.

Screw the others. She could have one night to herself.

Getting off the wall she leaned towards him.

"I don't like missing out on chances either."

Aw that stupid grin on his face was going to make her knees weak. "Good, but can I trust you to show up? After all I don't know you." He was still going to play this little game that he'd started between the two of them.

She gave him a coy look, "Well you're just going to have to take a real chance then aren't you? To get trust you have to give it first."

"Wise and beautiful. Now I know you won't do me wrong." His eyes continued to dance with that mysterious glint. "Alright I think I can trust you. My name's Hiwatari, Sano."

"And just what do you have in mind on this date Sano?" That was such a good name. A good and steady name. She found herself liking this more and more. Maybe there could be a way for her to have a life instead of the one that she was in right now. Maybe she was destined for something else.

"Now that's definitely going to be a surprise," He held up a hand, "Though I can promise you won't regret it."

"I better not." This banter really was brining a smile to her face and calming the butterflies that had somehow landed in her stomach.

"Come on now what did you say about trust?"

Well he had her there, "You're right, but if I trust you how do I find you?"

"Meet me here tomorrow night at seven." He pointed down at the spot they were standing. "This sacred ground will definitely be worth our while." Sakura gave him a little laugh. He was absurd. Now this ground was sacred?

"Alright Sano," she looked up at him. "You've got a deal."

"Good," He leaned over again and kissed her cheek. The movement made her blush deeper than she believed she'd ever done so before. Yes she'd had a more personal experience, but it was not just unexpected. The innocence of it caught her completely off guard. He just winked and voiced "Cute." Before waving at her and turning towards the crowd.

If it hadn't been for the fact that her cheek was still warm she would have thought it was all a dream.

Sakura finished her shopping and returned back to Kabuto with a dreamy smile on her face. She wasn't sure how, but somehow she was going to get to that date.

* * *

Hola como estas?

Lol.

I guess you guys could guess my decision when it came to Kakashi. A lot of you all were on both sides on the matter, but I decided not to make it to bad and don't worry I'm not going to get graphic so there's no need to pull a "I'm not reading Yaoi" fit on me. This is strictly a Sakura x Kakashi and nothing beyond that will be described in any detail.

I hope you all are smart enough to figure out who Sano is….^^

Anyway that's it for the next chapter. My arms are hurting so I guess it's quitting time. I hope I kept everyone to their characters, I tried although I don't think I'm a good Orochimaru. -_-

So thanks for reading and you know the drill. Please review.


	11. Sano

Author Note: I'm so sorry that this story has taken such a long time to get back up and running. The past year has been hectic and wonderful at the same time. My excuses: I was a sophomore in college and playing football-yes I know I'm female (though that doesn't mean a damn thing) and it was flag football-I ended up destroying my ACL in my right leg and had to have a graph done. Also I came under the employment of a professor which took up a lot of my time…..and the really good news is that I got engaged! I found someone last year who has blessed me with love I didn't think existed. So those are my excuses-no I have not abandoned any of my stories-and yes I do plan to update more often.

Summar/Rating: Chapter One

Disclaimer: Chapter One

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Sano

"Tonight at seven," Sakura grumbled as she moved another compound box for Kabuto. Orachimaru had decided that he'd had enough of this hideout and was preparing to move to another one, but unfortunately the Snake-Sanin simply did not just move. Orachimaru had nearly everything that he considered of value at the moment move with him. Invaluable specimens and even people would be left behind if they didn't meet up to the par that the Sanin had created.

These simple facts did not bother Sakura because as a fellow ninja on the run she could understand where Orachimaru was coming from. The old man wanted to keep things that he needed and or liked with him at all times and to be honest so did she. The unfortunate part that Sakura realized was that he never did the heavy lifting himself, but left it up to his lackeys.

The pink haired girl glanced at a clock on the wall as she made her way towards the back entrance and was happy to see that it was a quarter to three. She was almost done with removing the necessary items from room 12 B and that would be the end of her day. Sano had come and gone from her mind since early this morning and she was determined to sneak out of the hide out while Orachimaru and Sasuke were sparing and training. Her work would be done so she wouldn't be missed and there would be no one to tell her yes or no.

When it came to working with Orachimaru and Kabuto, Sakura had come to find that it was best to simply do then ask permission. If you asked then Orachimaru would see it as a chance to simply say no and prove his power over you , but if you were instead found out then he would shrug it off because it was of no consequence to him what you did in your free time.

"Sakura," Kabuto voiced from behind the ninja. She had already sensed his presence, but had hoped that he wouldn't stop to talk to her or anything. She had a job to get done and taking time away from her job to give to Kabuto was taking a stronger risk as the clock continued to tick.

"Yes Kabuto?" Sakura asked her 'mentor' if you wanted to call him that as she faced him with an obedient smile that she'd picked up over her young years with them.

"Are you done?"

"Yes."

"Good, I need you to finish rooms 12C and 34A tonight. There has been a slight change in schedule, we leave tomorrow morning."

Sakura's eyes widened looking at the white haired male, "Tomorrow morning?" They weren't scheduled to leave this hideout for another week which would have given her plenty of time to clean out the other rooms. "Why has Orachimaru decided to speed up his plans?" It was hard sometimes for Sakura to judge when Kabuto was in a talking mood and when the other man just simply was not. This appeared to be one of those times because instead of being a rather laid back, but always in control Kabuto, the man's face looked annoyed. Sakura swore she heard him grind his teeth.

"Are you questioning Lord Orachimaru?" Kabuto stepped forward, "Its Lord Orachimaru is responsible for keeping us safe. He's the one making sure that the other villages, especially the Leaf doesn't find you or me. You should be more greatful Sakura, don't you think?"

Sakura backed off and nodded her head yes giving Kabuto the dominate stance like he wanted. Men had a general rule Sakura realized, as long as they got some sort of dominate stance over you faked or not-they seemed to be rather happy. Living with them after her rape had given her this valuable knowledge and it was keeping her alive.

"I'm sure Orachimaru has his reasons Kabuto," Sakura informed the man taking back just a small bit of her power by using his name, "Its simply a surprise."

"What's the surprise Sakura?" Kabuto laughed, "Its not like you have plans. I on the other hand have several experiments to finish and catalog before we can head out. Both of us will be up late tonight so I suggest you get started."

Sakura watched as Kabuto left and when he was out of sight the female finally let herself relax. "I did have plans you idiot," Sakura muttered to herself leaning against a box. "Damn it-why can't I for once get a chance to actually live?"

A voice out of the shadows shocked and scared Sakura for a moment before she recognized who it was. "What kind of plans?"

"Sasuke!" Sakura breathed a sigh of relief as her friend came from the shadows. "I didn't see you."

The male snorted and Sakura realized how stupid she sounded. There was no way that she would have been able to see or hear him. Since joining Orachimaru she had gotten stronger and unlocked as much of the Slug's technique that she could alone, but Sasuke was far ahead of her. Even on his worst of days she doubted that she would ever be able to sense him again. It was a part of his awe that had entrapped her for years.

"What plans Sakura?" Sasuke asked a little more informally.

Sakura sighed and sat on a box, "I came across this guy yesterday while I was out in the village…"

"A civilian?" Sasuke cut her off and Sakura nodded, "We made plans to see each other today."

This of course made Sasuke frown because the man as Sakura well knew, just didn't understand. To him there was nothing in this world but basic biological necessities and training. During their nights together, though only when Sasuke wanted a warm body and when she could finally get over it without feeling guilty about Ino, the Uchiha had mentioned that he was out to kill Itachi.

Thinking back on it Sakura was actually the one to bring it up in conversation late one night. Sasuke had hotly demanded of her where and when she had seen him leaving his imprints on her arms in the form of bruises the next day. When she'd answered him the Uchiha sighed and settled back down apologizing for what he'd done. Sakura had never heard Sasuke apologize before in her life and that was enough for her to know that the proud man meant every word. Sasuke then proceeded to tell her what Itachi had done and his reasoning from the very beginning. Wisely enough Sakura didn't ask about Naruto or why Sasuke had such a grudge against the blonde anyway. Even now talking to him about her encounter with Sano she knew she wasn't talking to the Sasuke that was her teammate, but a different man.

A man that scared her to be honest.

A part of her knew and recognized one very clear fact. The Sasuke she knew somehow died after she'd left and the man in front of her was very much after his own goals and gains. The only reason she was tolerated so was the fact that she served the same side. If that side ever changed then she would be the enemy.

Sasuke shook his head, "You shouldn't go anyway. We are leaving and you should not have relationships outside of this compound. You know that Sakura."

"I know, but all I have is you and Kabuto." Sakura fought back slightly trying to make Sasuke-this Sasuke-understand even just a little. "I sleep with one of you and then the next. I'm constantly in your presence and you don't love me. Sasuke you use and me and I use you both."

"Saukra we are ninja-its what we do. We shouldn't be off looking for-"

"For what Sasuke? Love?" Sakura cut him off. "You use me because you have needs Sasuke, but I have needs to. My options are limited to a man who reminds me of Kakashi-sensei and another whom I used to love and who is loved by my best friend."

"Ino and I are nothing Sakura," Sasuke pointed out blankly.

Sakura sat there in silence before speaking up, "Neither are we." The pink haired girl moved and started to walk past Sasuke holding her arms, "I wasn't looking for a relationship, but a chance to breath. One night with a man who has no ties to my past and absolutely does not have any ties to me. I'm suffocating , but that doesn't matter because Orachimaru has given me my orders. Sano will just have to find another date tonight."

Sasuke sighed and reached out stopping her with his hand on her shoulder. "Do Kabuto and I remind you of that night?"

Sakura nodded without turning around, "You don't mean to." She could feel tears spring to her eyes, "But you're a constant reminder Sasuke of what I had back in Konoha. Of the home that I was forced to leave behind because of Kakashi and the village." After Sasuke had come to Orachimaru Sakura had found herself crying in his arms one night and told him the whole truth. That it wasn't just Kakashi's decision, but the village as well.

"I was just hoping that tonight might have been my chance to move on."

"And get away from Orachimaru?" Sasuke suggested. Sakura turned around and looked at him with an odd expression and Sasuke elaborated. "I have a reason to be here Sakura, but you don't. Kabuto has nothing more to offer you and Orachimaru will do nothing but toss you aside once he has my body. There will be no one here to protect you from them."

Sakura hugged herself nearly shivering at the idea of Orachimaru getting Sasuke's body. "He would hunt me down," Sakura pointed out.

"Not for a night." Sasuke took back his hand and changed into Sakura in the blink of an eye, "Go-I'll cover." Sakura couldn't believe she was staring at herself and she smiled slightly at Sasuke. It wasn't that he wanted her to, but more so that he could see if Orachimaru could see through his jutsu.

Sakura knew this. She knew all of this and for some reason it didn't bother her as much as it should have. "Alright," Sakura nodded and walked away feeling relieved and happy, but she didn't bother to thank Sasuke.

In her room the girl grinned as she closed the door and ran a hand through her hair. She would actually be able to go and still had plenty of time to get ready. Hell, even if Orachimaru found out that she'd left the compound without his knowledge there was nothing the snake could do to her so long as Sasuke had her back.

A realization suddenly hit Sakura causing the girl to frown because she had absolutely nothing at all to wear. She cursed and started running through her clothes careful not to make a mess just in case someone poked their nose in. She didn't want to make it look like she'd been in a rush or gone anywhere. It took her longer then she cared to admit, but she'd finally found generic clothing that was cute enough to pass. A simple black dress that went to her mid-thigh. She couldn't remember when or where she had come across the item, but it was never worn for the simple fact that there was nowhere at all to put any weapons whatsoever. Sakura sighed as she threw the last kunai from around her calf onto the bed and slid on her shoes. If there had ever been a day she had been weaponless since she left Konoha, Sakura couldn't remember.

Using a simple jutsu she got passed everyone and made it outside into town. Taking her time, Sakura's stomach turned over and over again with anxiety and a feeling of nervousness. The same feeling she used to get thinking about Sasuke-and the girl couldn't keep the smile from her face when she caught Sano leaning against a building. He was dressed in a button down blue shirt and slacks, but what completed his outfit was the smile he wore when he caught sight of her. To Sakura it was breath taking.

"So, looks like your trustworthy after all," Sano voiced holding out a hand. Sakura smiled back and gave him her hand which he took with a slight shake before switching it so he was holding her hand. His hands were rough and worn like a man who'd spend his life working hard to make his living. Sano was obviously older than her and amazing in Sakura's mind. She didn't mind that his larger hands were also rougher.

"Of course I am. But you would know that if you knew me."

Sano chuckled, "True. Let's see if I can change that though. I hope you brought your appetite. I'm a man of tradition."

"What does that mean?" Sakura asked half-heartedly walking beside him while he guided her feet. It was a nice feeling to have someone take control for a moment. She realized she was curious about him and watching-waiting for anything to feed her curiosity.

"It means that I'm going to show you that I'm a provider and take you out to eat."

"And why would you need to do that?" Sakura had a feeling she would be amused by the answer, but didn't realize she was even more amused by the upturn of his mouth as he smiled.

"Because if you intend to spend your time with me shouldn't you know that I'll take care of you."

Sakura was amused and picking up on their 'game' easily enough. This back and forth conversation was really like nothing she'd ever experienced before if she stopped to think about it. "I can take care of myself just fine Sano."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean that you should have to do it all the time. Trust me it's a give and get kind of thing." Sano countered and Sakura shook her head further amused. If Naruto had said something like that suggesting that she couldn't handle herself alone she would have probably hit him hard, but Sano had said it and it felt natural.

The rest of the walk led them to a nice sushi restaurant where Sakura felt right at home. It was as if he could read her mind and it was obvious he had been there several times before. It was delicious and so was the conversation.

Sano had been a carpenter when he was younger and spent his days moving from one spot to another. An orphan he'd lost his dad during the war and his mother later in life. Since he was an only child he had seen no reason to stay in one place for to long. Eventually he'd gotten enough to try and start his own business and he'd decided on this town.

As the man talked about the places he'd been and the different cultures he'd come in contact with Sakura found herself lost in conversation. They arguably went back and forth about the differences between the stern sand people and the wind fanatics. She enjoyed the deep tone to his sweet voice and the way he viewed people was so bright.

"I've talked all night," Sano commented as they left the restaurant. Sakura giggled, "You do seem to run your mouth."

"How manly of me to do so ," Sano joked back putting his arm around her. "What about yourself Sakura? How did you end up here so alone?"

"Alone?" Sakura looked at him, "What gave you the impression I was alone."

Sano smiled back at her showing of a wrinkle in his brow. "You looked alone. The day we met you looked a little lost, if I'm not overstepping myself."

Sakura stopped and looked up at him, "How do I look now?"

"Are you avoiding my questions Sakura?" Sano countered looking down at her. "I think you don't want to tell me who you are."

"As if you could understand."

"I think I understand more than you know." Sano pulled away from her and Sakura frowned catching how old he looked under the light moonlight that had just begun to shine down on them. All of a sudden he looked ancient and tired. He wasn't the lively and happy man she'd been talking to all throughout dinner.

"I don't have much planned for the after dinner part," This time it was Sano changing the subject of the conversation. Sakura knew that he had, but didn't push it. She wanted to know what he meant, however, she knew that it was something that she had to let go for the moment.

"It's fine," Sakura walked back up beside him. "We could just go for a walk."

"Are you going to give me any answers mystery blossom?" Sano looked at her with that smile plastered on his face again. He was really a handsome man and Sakura forgot about the haggard look she'd just seen in the light of dark eyes.

"What about you?" She thought to herself. He was mystery to her, yet he'd talked all night. They'd spent over four hours in that restaurant simply eating and talking. Instead Sakura said, "Maybe. I'm a single child. I left my parents a couple years ago to try and make it in the world on my own."

"Ah," Sano looked down at her, "and are you happy?"

Sakura stopped again, this time in front of a closed store. No had ever asked her that before and the ninja had to turn aside and swallow tears. She wrapped her arms around herself in a hug for a moment feeling vulnerable and wishing she had her kunai. The cold steel would have been a comfort.

"I… don't know. I don't think I am." She looked at Sano and for some reason all her pretenses about men faded and she was honest for the first time in a long while. "I'm not happy. At least I haven't been."

Sano looked at her with concern and moved in front of her. His eyes constantly studying her face and his smell diving into her nostrils, it wasn't suffocating like Sasuke or even Kabuto. There was nothing reminding her of the past or who she was now.

"What about tonight Sakura?" He closed the gap between them and lifted her chin so she would have to look up in his eyes. "Are you happy tonight Sakura?"

"Yes," she breathed a whisper and Sano leaned forward captivating her with his warm body. She felt hot and like lead. Grounded by something invisible stopping her every movement.

Sano leaned closer, his mouth hovering above hers and his hand moving to her arms which fell to her side at the heat. "When we met Sakura I felt as if I'd known you forever." His lips were so red as he talked, "I knew you'd come tonight. You don't have to be alone."

She trembled then and he captured her lips with ease. His arm wrapped around her waist and Sakura reached out clutching his shirt. He was warm, gentle, and caressed her in such a light manner that the weight fell off. It was butterfly light and searching as his tongue laced out in search of her own.

Tears of relief and joy had already sprung to her eyes. Emotions that she hadn't felt in a long while, not like this, that he'd brought out once again. He sounded so assure that they would have this night and so assured that she didn't have to be alone.

And she believed him.

He tasted warm against her tongue and she could taste the light sake on his breath. She could feel his large, calloused hand on her back, and she could the earth on him.

She shoved him away harshly with wide eyes full of complete disbelief. "You son of a bitch." Sakura's voice was so light she'd barely heard herself. Kakashi Hatake had gotten away from the Akatasuki and found her.

* * *

**And on that note please read and review. I hope this chapter satisfied some of your curiosity. I wanted to get up something quick-sorry about the cliff hanger. **


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Sakura pulled further away from the man in front of her and watched as Kakashi sighed and glanced at his watch. He shook his head and then came after her arms waking her out of her stun. She jerked away and pulled back her fist throwing it at his body. Of course the man dodged her hand, she'd never laid a finger on her sensei.

"How?! How did you get away from the Akatsuki?" Her voice was like ice numbing her own ears. "Why are you after me?"

"I'm not after you Sakura," Kakashi backed away watching her with his one eye. He was scanning her body for absolutely any inclination of movement. He had no idea how strong she'd become over the years and had no desire to face her in his current condition. All the while he was cursing himself for letting the situation get out of hand. He should have ignored that look in her eye, he should've turned away from her lips and never kissed her.

That wasn't a part of the plan.

"Then why are you here?" She reached down for her kunai only to find herself weaponless. The ground beneath her swayed slightly and Sakura shook her head clearing her mind. It didn't go unnoticed by Kakashi or the fact that she continued to face him. He thanked whatever gods were out there that she hadn't decided to run and still considered him to much of a threat to give him her back.

"I'm here to apologize," Kakashi held out his hands and Sakura flinched despite the unguarded gesture.

"Apologize?" Sakura narrowed her eyes and reached beside her yanking off a metal bar from the trashcan beside her. This time Kakashi flinched, but Sakura missed the slight turn of his eye. "Tricking me and kissing me is your way of apologizing?"

"I didn't know how else to get you alllllonnne."

Sakura frowned trying to focus on his words as the last one drug out and sounded slanted. She could barely make out 'alone' from the sound of her beating heart and her quickened breathing. She paused to pay attention to her own body and growled out, "You drugged me!" Without waiting for response the konochi swung and this time caught Kakashi across the ribs with a satisfying crunch and he backwards grunting.

The exertion was to much for Sakura and she dropped the bar holding her head. "What did you drug me with?!" She felt she was screaming as the world tilted right and she fell to her knees. "What did you drug me with?" Sakura felt everything slow down and two hands catch her before she hit the ground. She knew it was Kakashi and she pushed back, but didn't have the strength to break his hold. She was convinced he'd killed her….and she was okay with that.

Kakashi grunted against her dead wait and put her aside so he could stand up and inspect himself. Over the course of his career he had broken his ribs three times and now he was sure this was the fourth. Touching it tenderly he shook his head before staring down at her lifeless form. Kneeling he reached out and picked her up in his arms groaning slightly in pain before walking down the street towards his hotel. A woman crossing his path was suspicious, but Kakashi had already slid on their disguise and made sure she saw the ring on his left hand before addressing the issue.

"My wife doesn't yet know her limit," he explained. "Sake always gets her like this. I beg her to stay home, but who am I to stop a woman from her gambling?" The old woman looked at Sakura's appearance and despite the fact that it was really conservative thought the worse of her black dress. The old hag nodded and walked off mumbling to herself about sleezy women, but Kakashi couldn't give a damn.

He was grateful to see his hotel room as he dropped the body onto the bed. He got her as comfortable as possible and then pulled the needles and IV drop over. Kakashi was no medical ninja and it had taken some time to figure out just how, but he found the vein easy enough and with three sticks managed to get the drop to stick.

Sighing he glanced at her chest as it rose up and down slowly. "You're beautiful," Kakashi heard himself in the quiet of the barely lit room. He reached out and ran a hand through her hair marveling at his uniqueness and smelled it's rich scent. Moving closer he touched her cheek and shook his head.

"Sakura, you are a wild flower. There's nothing tame about you." Kakashi's heart dropped to his stomach as he thought about what he had to do. "Go home Sakura, please be stronger than I am." He leaned over and kissed her soft lips strangling at her lack of response. Pulling back he placed his hands over his head and groaned. He wanted to kiss her so badly and feel her arms around him, but it was impossible. The dream that had kept him alive all those nights were beyond his reach.

Getting up Kakashi glanced back at her before focusing on his task at hand with the knowledge that it was going to take everything he had to complete it. Since he'd broken away from the Akakatsuki, Kakashi had meditated and focused on his chakra and now was the time to see if all his efforts paid off. Taking a breath, the jounin bit his thumb and leaned over with a wince drawing the necessary symbols for the summing jutsu. Standing up he took a piece of cloth from his pocket and stuck it in his mouth before taking a deep breath and very deliberately drew out the seals with his hands.

Throwing his body to the ground, Kakashi's bloody thumb struck the seals drawn on the floor and immediately he felt the cursemark on his back scream.

"NO!" Kakashi screamed as his hands started to shake and his focus was on keeping his dominate hand straight. "Don't black out. Keep it together! Damn it Pakkun!" Kakashi thought all this, but couldn't get it past his groans of pain. His head was throbbing, his heart pounding, sweat has built at the bottom of his back, his muscles were shaking in protest, and his body felt like it was on fire. Every pore and cell screamed out in protest as he did the one thing a shinobi was never supposed to do: force a jutsu.

In theory he should have died. In theory he should have collapsed right on the spot, but Kakashi knew the risk and knew his body. He'd done everything he could to keep his chakra at the bare minimum so that the curse mark wouldn't pick up on it and destroy it. His preparation paid off as he fell on his hands and knees in front of five dogs he hadn't seen in years-including Pakkun.

"KAKASHI!" Pakkun's voice of surprise and the whines of the other dogs made the jounin smile.

"Pakkun," Kakashi groaned laughing slightly, "Bull-the pack. It worked." Kakashi coughed the rag completely out of his mouth.

"Kakashi what the hell happened?" Pakkun was so small that Kakashi could actually see him fully from the position he was in without picking up his neck. "We don't hear from you and now this? What the hell happened? What the hell is this? Why is your ear bleeding? You stupid idiot! You forced a jutsu! Why I outta-"

Kakashi was thankful as a light brown nose came around and pushed Pakkun back shutting him up.

Trying to catch his breath Kakashi winced at the pain in his side. "Listen I don't have time to explain, but you have a mission to carry out. We have a mission to carry out. Three of you-including you Pakkun need to go the Hidden Leaf. Tell them were Sakura is while the other two stay and watch over her. Shouldn't take you more than a week at full speed." Kakashi coughed hard and glanced down at the hand he'd used to cover his mouth. It felt as if he'd coughed up a lung and it looked like it as the blood pooled in the center of his hand.

"Kakashi you forced a jutsu." Pakkun wasn't excited now, but even whined. Kakashi glanced up and saw the dogs looking at him solemnly.

"I know its been a while," Kakashi tried a light smile, "but I need you to save Sakura. Save her from Orachimaru. Save her from this life."

"Orachimaru?" Pakkun shook his head, "Kakashi you aren't going to make it after forcing the jutsu. Already you smell like-"

"Death?" Kakashi laughed wincing in pain. His left hand that was holding him up was shaking beneath his weight. The ears on the dog's fell and Bull had to look away from his former master. "Yes I'm dying. I can feel it, but she has to survive." Kakashi looked to the bed and stood up using the wall behind him to keep him steady on his feet.

"Kakashi maybe you should sit down," Pakkun glanced up at him. "She's a medic nin. We can get Sakura to save you."

"I don't want to be saved Pakkun," Kakashi answered him truthfully and this time Sano wasn't there to voice his opinion. Infact from the moment that Kakashi had met Sakura again the voice had died. "Find Naruto. That's an order, friend." Kakashi smiled at them and his head pounded causing him to grab it. "Find Naruto-he'll come for her." Kakashi looked at Sakura and walked her way.

He reached out and touched her again frowning as his hand left blood on her cheek. She shouldn't be like that, surrounded by blood and death. He couldn't die here.

Turning around he still saw all the dogs looking at him confused and whining. They could smell his body fade, he was sure of it. Even his vision was starting to fail him now and for once in his life Kakashi could honestly say he could hear himself breath like he was wheezing.

"I can't die without knowing that she's going to be taken care of. Go-please."

"You aren't going to die Kakashi," Pakkun shook his head, but couldn't hide the tear down his face. The dog knew Kakashi's feelings towards the female and to be honest with himself he wasn't surprised at the turn of events. Kakashi was a jounin, a shinob of a different caliber who would die for his friends at any cost. Especially for this female.

"You better have a good damn doggy treat for when we get back," Pakkun snorted and moved to the door with two others behind him.

"Thank you," Kakashi whispered and Pakkun only grunted before leaving his dying master behind. It went against every instinct the dogs had to do so, but they were loyal to their pack leader and loyalty sometimes demanded that you do the impossible.

Kakashi glanced at the others left in the room and smiled. "Watch her. No one should come at all and she shouldn't wake up as long as that IV lasts. Pakkun should be back long before then." Kakashi gave a weak smile and the light brown animals took their place to the side watching him as he walked to the bathroom of the hotel room. They understood in the core of their instincts that animals, even their master, go off to die alone. Pakkun didn't even make it to the end of the small village before stopping. The dogs in his company took his cue and waited for a decision to be made, but they were hoping for a miracle. A way to save their comrade, and as if reading their minds Pakkun growled, "Well running to Konoha isn't going to save him. Kakashi's going to die unless he gets medical attention now-what the hell are we out here for?" The pug looked at his other companions and without a word the animals raced back into the hotel room.

They were met with resigned and worried looks making Pakkun grumble. "Damn it," the dog knew exactly what had happened. The bastard really had given up! "Bull, help me up here will ya and someone get that damn sedative out of her!" Unceremoniously the i.v. in her arm was ripped out and Pakkun climbed up Bull's back to land on her stomach.

His ear twitched and he could hear noises coming from the bathroom, but Pakkun ignored them and went back to the woman underneath him. She was his only hope right now and he was going to make sure that she did her job and saved his life. If she wanted to kill him afterwards then fine she had every right to try, but right now he needed to save Kakashi.

Crawling up to her chest Pakkun reached out and slapped her with a paw, "Sakura wake the hell up!" Pakkun growled and slapped her again, "Konouchi wake up!"

Sakura was aware of a weight on her chest first and then a sting on her cheek. She could hear a voice, but it sounded fuzzy so she shook her head to clear her mind. Waking up to a dog sitting on her chest was enough to give Sakura a shock, but she was a konouchi and her mind quickly raced up the facts and what she remembered. She remembered Sano and she remembered Kakashi-the last thing that she'd seen. Putting two and two together she pushed Pakkun off of her and jumped off the bed. She crouched in a fighting stance and saw the group of dogs around the room, but Kakashi was nowhere.

"Sakuara calm down."

"Pakkun ," Sakura was unsure of how she felt towards the animal. He'd never done anything wrong to her, but his master had. "Where's Kakashi?" Her eyes darted from left to right searching for any sign of a threat.

"Dying," Pakkun was blunt stepping towards her. "Dying if you don't help him."

"Dying?" Sakura's shoulders fell out of her defensive stance as the world fell apart around her. Dying? The concept of Kakashi Hatake, her ex-sensei, torment of her life, the infallible man who had yet to meet his equal was dying? Still she didn't see him and years with Orachimaru made her weary of what she couldn't decide for herself. "Dying how? Where?"

"Sakura I don't have time to explain. Please, you're a medic ninja right? You trained under Tsunade."

"I trained under Kabuto-san," Sakura was quick to correct, "I want to see him."

"You'll help him?"

Sakura didn't answer immediately and stared at the floor instead of the animals around her. They all seemed to be on the same page and wanted her help, wanted something from her, but what they wanted was something from Sakura Haruno and she didn't exist anymore.

"No, I want to watch him die."

"You want to watch him die?!" One of the dogs from the side nearly shrilled. It was a female and she seemed more than distraught. "You want to watch the man that loves you die? How heartless are you? I can't believe that! Kakashi knew that he was going to die protecting you-"

"That's enough," Pakkun barked back and shut her up. Despite his size, Kakashi had chosen the pug as his closest companion and when it came to circumstances involving Kakashi the other dogs fell into a group following Pakkun's orders. "Sakura please I know you're angry, but can you put that aside. Please just take a look at him," Pakkun pleaded, "He's not the man that you know and he's suffered for his crimes at the hands of the Akatsuki. Sakura I haven't heard from him since the day we went looking to bring you back. I don't know what he's suffered, but it hasn't been pleasant. He going to die because he summoned us to protect you."

Sakura shook her head fighting against the images, against what she knew. Her sensei, once a proud and outstanding man forced to kneel in a field-beaten, battered, and bruised. "Sakura," Pakkun pleaded, "He forced a jutsu. You might not even be able to save him, but take a look-How many times has he saved your life?"

Sakura growled this time and clenched her fist knowing that the pug was right. But she didn't owe him anything! He'd killed her and that crossed out ever save, but looking at the dogs she could see the love in their eyes for him. It was a hopeless battle, she was going to try.

"Where is he?"

"Bathroom," Pakkun sighed in relief and ran towards the door which Sakura opened. Kakashi was sprawled on his stomach near the toilet completely still. And Sakura rushed to his side sure he was dead, but as she turned him over she found a slight pulse-weak, but there.

"He's fading fast," Sakura spoke up picking him up with ease. Bull came beside her and helped lift Kakashi's legs and she nodded at him. She could smell the scent of his body and wondered how he ever fooled her in the first place that night pretending to be Sano. "See if he brought anything with him. I need to know what happened, find me a kunai at least."

Sakura placed him on the bed and started to rip off his clothes to get direct access to his skin-reaching for the i.v. she sniffed it and then tossed it aside as useless. "Damn it," Sakura growled racing her hands down his body with a seeking chakra, "What happened to him?"

"No idea, " Pakkun was at her side as another dog popped up with a kunai, "he summoned us and then fainted."

"Forced a jutsu," another animal added and Sakura shook her head. She wasn't a Hyuga and she couldn't see the chakra channels, but she could feel how low his chakra was and how it was fighting against something-something cancerous.

"That makes no sense, he has more chakra than that. He wasn't fatigued when I was with him tonight. If it was chakra depletion he shouldn't have had a problem with it. " She forced open his eyelids and looked at them before shaking her head and feeling how faint his heart beat was. "He should have had enough."

"Sakura he hasn't summoned us in years. If he was in trouble he would have summoned us."

"Which means he couldn't," Sakura voiced grabbing the kunai and cutting off his shirt completely. She had an idea of what was wrong and as soon as she looked at the middle of his back she found it. A complex system of symbols directed on the body that was shaking on his back. It was curse mark and one that she wasn't familiar with. She turned him over and ran a hand through her hair taking a closer look.

"What the hell?!" Pakkun shouted, "The sons of bitches couldn't even take him hand to hand."

"Not the problem now," Sakura cut him off. "I need to figure this out."

"You can break it?"

"It's not about breaking it, it's about breaking it in time." Sakura voiced. "Finding out the right code and putting the chakra in the right places before his body gives out." After a year she started working side by side with Kabuto and studied all she could on curse marks. She was hoping to find information to release Saskue from his gift from Orachimaru, but it never happened. Kabuto was good at keeping her at a distance.

Her finger followed a pattern down his back and she tested putting a small amount of her own chakra towards the seal when his body started to convulse. Spreading out her hands she snuck around stopping it, but his muscles still shivered in protest. "I've seen this before," She muttered to herself, "Come on Sakura you've seen this before. It's a standard curse mark, nothing like Orachimaru's personal. She placed a hand on the middle of his back and his body stopped shivering-along with his heart.

"You stupid son of a bitch," Sakura growled sending chakra to his heart immediately. "Pakkun I need you to take over here."

"I'm not a medic," Pakkun protested, but Sakura gave him a look, "Congrats you are one. Just push your chakra to his heart with me. As soon as I get a pulse I'm going to stop, but you have to keep going. I'll guide your chakra to the right part, but you'll be the only thing keeping him alive. The second you stop he's dead. Got it? I have to figure out this seal."

Pakkun nodded unsure but put his paws beside hers and Sakura could feel a surge of his chakra flow into Kakashi's body. "Right, to the left-"She ordered the dog. "Follow my stream of chakra can you feel it? Medical chakra is about teamwork Pakkun. Got it?"

"I got it," Pakkun grumbled concentrating as sweat poured down his head. "There we go," Sakura was relieved when the dog finally pinpointed her own chakra strain. Giving a massive wave of her chakra once, twice, three times, four-she finally shocked his heart into a steady beat. "Good," Sakura muttered, "I'm pulling away Pakkun, but he needs a steady flow. Keep it up."

She pulled off and focused on his back this time running a finger down the seal with just a finger. "Five notch seal: tiger- rooster- dragon- tiger- horse -ox -rooster. The code for that-the right release…." Sakura backed up and concentrated. She had to try and balance her chakra without over doing it. This could kill him, would probably kill him, but he was dead already.

Making the hand signs herself she was sure she was correct, "Dog-tiger-hare-ram!" She spread her right hand in the middle of his back. Her finger tips lit with chakra as they touched the fight notches and Kakashi jerked in her hands. Pakkun backed off and Sakura could feel the chakra start to spread within his body and flow.

She pulled back and turned him over quickly looking for a breath or a pulse and realized that there was none. He had enough chakra, but his body had stopped. She needed to restart his heart, but risking another chakra burst to the heart would do more damage than good.

Tilting his head back she started to pump his chest and perform simple cpr. "Alright this is it," she pounded his chest thirty times before turning to his mouth and performing mouth to mouth. His chest rose and fell, but it wasn't by his volition. "Come on Kakashi," She started to pump again and was glad to see his throat pull back on his own accord and his heart start again. It wasn't as weak as it was before, but it wasn't as strong as it needed to be.

She stopped and put her hands the table seeing the iv out of the corner of her eye. It was so tempting to just use an i.v. and so much easier, but he had nothing for her to use and sedating him now would be to risky.

"Sakura?" Pakkun was on the floor now at her feet and looking up with raised eyebrows. "It's up to him now," Sakura voiced to the dog. "He'll decide if he lives or dies." She glance back up at the body and for the first time saw the scars adorning his chest and leading down to his navel. They went further down and she assumed they curved around his legs.

He was with the Akatsuki and they could do no less.

He was a prisoner of the Akatsuki and it was all her fault. That thought no longer made her feel satisified like it had so many years ago. Lately she'd been trying to just keep that out of her mind even before she saw him with Itachi. Turning she went back to the bathroom and threw up what she'd eaten on her fake date with 'Sano'.

And for the first time in a long time Sakura just sat there on the cold floor, drew up her knees and cried.

**See things in life are never easy. Yes Kakashi is an ass, but even Sakura feels sorry for destroying him. Its just…. Complicated. To bad it's not going to ease up anytime soon. **


	13. The Truth

**Sorry for the late update, but I think you'll be pretty pleased with this chapter. A lot of you have asked how in the world could I make the two of them get together now and trust me when I say it's not going to be easy. This is going to be a long journey that they are just going to have to figure out on their own, but I will say this….someone has come to terms. And someone isn't going to let it go. Not now. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

Sakura finally pulled herself off the floor feeling heavy with something she'd never consider feeling for him again. If she was honest with herself she would have admitted a long time ago that it had been nagging at her since the day she'd given him up. Guilt, it was a nasty thing to live with and now it had finally bubbled over the surface. It was something that she had long since tried to ignore and honestly despised herself for it. She was justified! It was absurd to think that Kakashi didn't deserve some punishment, but the feeling that the punishment didn't meet the crime kept coming back.

Reaching for the cool knob in the bathroom, she turned on the water and splashed her face trying to ease the heat surrounding her eyes. She glanced at her arms and saw the scars that had long since stitched themselves into her skin. Between the two of them, Kakashi and herself, they had enough carnage to give Ibiki a run for his money. The Konochi sighed and leaned against the wall trying to decide her next move.

She stayed in the bathroom for hours running scenario after scenario in her head as she tried to figure out some sort of solution-some sort of clear answer as to what she should do now. Unfortunately, everything was muddled and the objectives were unclear. It was hard to distinguish between what decisions would be good ones and which could be disastrous.

It was nightfall when she was finally satisfied and walked back into the room. The dogs had all packed themselves around a still sleeping Kakashi and eyed her in the darkened area. To lesser beings the size and structure of the pack would be fearsome. Their blank eyes in the dead of night coupled with pearly canines to make your skin shiver, but Sakura wasn't the least bit intimidated by the scene. She admired their admiration and loyalty to a man they hadn't seen in years, but if one attacked she would simply take them out.

As she walked past the animals only the female growled at her while the others simply watched for any movement whatsoever or indication of harm towards Kakashi. The pug on his chest on the other hand seemed to have no care in the world when it came to her presence. He didn't bother to move when she leaned over Kakashi's body to check his pulse and his vitals. It wasn't until she began to pull away that Pakkun voiced his concern.

"How's he looking Sakura?"

"He'll survive," Sakura commented. "He trained his body and his chakra. He hasn't been able to produce chakra at his normal rate for a long time. Unlike Sasuke's mark this one was a complete system shut down, but nothing's been damaged. His body will soak up chakra like a sand nin soaks up water. He'll probably be on his feet in a couple of hours."

Pakkun wagged his tail enthusiastically, "You really think so? Well I have to say he is one lucky son of a bitch."

"Hmm," Sakura answered turning away and going towards Kakashi's belongings.

"What are you doing?" Pakkun jumped off Kakashi's chest to join her and Sakura decided she didn't hate his company. It was only slightly annoying.

"I'm finding clothes to wear and weapons." Sakura sighed, "Although I think we've found everything in the weapons department. I can't continue to wear what I have on. It isn't practical."

"Let me go get you something," Pakkun offered. "Or at least let a couple of us go." Pakkun knew the woman was right and wanted to do something to make the situation more bearable. He wanted to help Sakura for himself this time and that was a little shocking all things considered. She was an important ninja to Kakashi and also to himself.

She'd saved the life of his friend and his friend loved her over his own life. That was enough for Pakkun to take Sakura into consideration when it came to her needs and providing for them.

"You don't have to do that," Sakura looked back at him. "How are you all going to get clothes? You're dogs."

"No," Pakkun countered. "We're ninja. Kakashi doesn't seem to have a lot of stuff here and I don't see any money so we are going to have to steal what we get anyway."

"There isn't a ninja base around her," Sakura sighed and sat on the floor. "I guess you won't get caught, but you have no idea what sizes I wear." Sakura didn't want to go out and face the world. She felt too raw and new.

"I'm a pretty good judge," Pakkun jumped on the windowsill. "Don't worry about the others, they just want to protect him." Sakura didn't miss the threat that if she were to change her mind and harm Kakashi that they would jump to his aid. She rolled her eyes, "Just hurry up Pakkun."

The little dog didn't need another push and moved out window as quickly and silently as a shadow.

Sakura turned her eyes to the items in the room and Kakashi's personal belongings. "I'm going to check and see what supplies we have," Sakura voiced aloud for the dogs benefit. She began to stifle through his stuff piece by piece as meager as it was.

_  
Pakkun slid as silently down the street as a shadow. He was well aware of how to blend in and knew the art of stealth like his back hand. Kakashi wasn't the only one with a contract with his kind and unlike his master Pakkun had seen action since Kakashi's departure as a prisoner with Akatsuki. It had taken the Leaf Village a little time and understanding to realize that the dogs had no clue as to where Kakashi was or with whom Kakashi was until they had finally trusted them to battle again, but it had happened.

Pakkun might have gotten older in years, but he would be the first to point out that his skills had not decreased in the slightest. Spotting a closed female clothing store the dog made his way to the back before using a claw to cut into the piece of glass and slip in through the tiny opening.

His eyesight was not that of a cats, but being a ninja had its advantages. He'd been bred with wonderful genes equipped to handing all sorts of scenarios and this was no different. Within a matter of thirty minutes he'd found a black pair of shorts, sandals, an undershirt, and a dark green overshirt. It was very appropriate and operational.

Maneuvering the clothing into a bag was a bit of a challenge considering he had paws and not hands, but he'd managed to pull it off and head back towards the hotel at top speed. While looking for her things he'd forced himself not to wonder. He didn't think about what kind of person Sakura had become or what interest Kakashi really had with her at the present. There were too many variables and to much had happened.

But on the way to the hotel he couldn't stop himself. He wondered what she would do now. Kakashi's plan had been obvious. Find Naruto and have him intervene. Naruto was a wonder in himself and surely capable of saving Sakura from Orochimaru , if he was such a threat, but why did Sakura need saving in the first place? She hadn't returned to the village, but had she really become a missing nin? Had she given up the ninja life?

From the chakra he could sense from her to the talk of Orochimaru Pakkun would have to say no. She must have continued to thrive as a ninja, her knowledge of curse marks had been profound, and therefore she was a threat to be considered. Especially if she had been with Orochimaru .

Nearing the hotel Pakkun made it clear to hide his thoughts and to hid whatever ambiguous feelings threatened to boil over about the whole situation. Sakura with Kakashi. Kakashi with Sakura. At the moment it seemed that having the two of them together was like a ticking time bomb…or exactly what the two needed to survive.

Walking in through the window he was just relieved to find that everything was just as he'd left it. The dogs had ignored Sakura's rummaging and had made themselves comfortable while the Konochi had seemed satisfied that she had found all Kakashi had to offer and was simply staring at the material in front of her.

Without looking up she motioned for him to give her the bag he was carrying. "Thanks," she mumbled before walking into the bathroom and changing clothes. The pug signed and gave her room while studying what she'd found. It was simple. Civilian clothes, I.V. needles, drugs, herbs, bandages and absolutely not enough weapons.

"Kakashi what the hell happened to you?" Pakkun thought looking at his master. What had pushed the man who had lived through losing everything finally over the edge to give up the fight like this?

Sakura took a shower and tried not to think about the decision she had made. There was no clear choice as to what she was going to do in this situation. Kakashi….she didn't know what his plans were after "apologizing" as he had said to her, but the dogs were a part of the plot. Knowing him she could imagine that it would be to send her back to Konoha. It would be typical of him to do anything to get her away from the snake's den, right?

She hadn't forgotten the way he had looked at Orochimaru and her. It was like he'd seen a ghost and there was no way he had been happy with her decision to join up with him. It was almost like he hadn't known, but surely it had crossed his mind, right?

When she'd left she needed security from the Leaf and therefore had turned to the only person who had, like she had suspected, welcomed her with open arms in the beginning. Orochimaru was a slimy sleezeball who had the power to destroy, but the reality of it was he was just very self-serving and a man of his word. Of course you just had to be smart enough to make sure that you found the right code to his word. Orochimaru couldn't and wouldn't allow himself to be blamed if the battle just happened to get too hard-if the road got to difficult. It was like the situation with Sasuke, he had promised to train Sasuke and train he had. Everyone knew that he intended to take Sasuke's body at some point and was training him for his own objective, but Sasuke had willingly admitted that the snake was welcome to try. The Uchiha would play the game-to do Orochimaru 's bidding and be trained in return as promised, but the end game was theirs to play to the death.

So when Orochimaru had offered her sanctuary Sakura knew that he would provide it and keep his word, but if the others in his entourage did not then it was of no concern. As long as she was useful he would keep her and do right by her. Orochimaru wouldn't want to take her back to that forsaken place. Now she would have to show she was useful still to make up for the fact that she'd left in the first place.

Konoha on the other hand had spit in her face. There had been nothing but lies and deceit from the village and her sensei. She couldn't go back to them. Where Orochimaru had been transparent they were mucky water.

"Fuck that village," Sakura snarled lightly to herself as she scrubbed down. "They can burn for all I care." She shook her head as the warm faces of Naruto and Ino crossed her mind. There was Kiba and Hinata. There was also the others to consider. And Iruka-sensei….her parents. Sakura wouldn't let herself be drawn down that road because all there would be was pain. Instead she chose to ignore it like she had chosen to do with several things in her life.

She dressed herself and went to the main room where she began collecting all of Kakashi's materials. She placed one kunai near the table by his head, but that was the only thing she planned to spare the ninja. Pakkun watched her the whole time as did the other dogs, but they didn't try to stop her until she got to the door.

"Sakura, what do you plan on doing? You don't plan to go back to Orochimaru , do you?" Pakkun was by her feet with his head cocked to the side and a sound of concern that made her want to answer him.

"I'm going back home." She saw his eyes widen at her answer and corrected his thoughts. "I'm going back to Sasuke and Orochimaru . It's where I belong."

"Sakura," Pakkun shifted nervously, "It's none of my business, but would Orochimaru take you back? If you're here with Kakashi then it's obvious something happened. Does he even know?"

"Yeah something happened," Sakura sounded bitter as she glanced towards Kakashi. "He kidnapped me and brought me here. Orochimaru doesn't have a clue and will probably think that I've abandoned them. It won't be easy to get back in his good graces, but Sasuke knew I left. I'll take my chances."

"Sounds like you would be better off going on your own then risk it." The female who had chastised Sakura early spoke up. Her voice was sweeter now, but the look in her eyes still held disdain and distrust. It was something that Sakura could appreciate and at the same time find very annoying.

"And why would that be?"

"I've heard about your Sasuke-kun. Even before he ran off to Orochimaru he sounded like an angst filled nasty brat." She shook her head slowly, "I don't think expecting him to stand up for you would be in your favor. He would leave you in Orochmaru's clutches if it interfered with his plans. Might be better to try and just disappear on your own."

"Oh really?" Sakura sighed, "Well then a lot of good that would do me. He would surely come out to kill me then for sure. I'm supposed to run from both Orochimaru and the Leaf?" Sakura tsked, "I have lived with Orchimaru and therefore I know his hideouts. I know information that he can't afford to lose. He's probably looking for me right now as we speak with a death sentence on my head. The sooner I get back to him the better."

"Or you can return to Konoha for protection and stop him, Sakura."

Sakura sharply turned to the bed as Kakashi tried to sit up. He'd woken from his comatose state about five minutes ago, but had chosen to listen and try and figure out what had happened. He was still confused as to why he wasn't peacefully asleep forever-if in the end there was peace-but even more so as to why she was still here if she was awake. Why the hell was she awake and he alive? He moved to a sitting position as the answers flooded his mind.

He should have died, but Sakura must have saved him. There was little to no doubt that Pakkun or one of the others had woken her up in a desperate-and stupid-attempt to save his life. He was surprised that she had done it, but now he had a significant problem on his hands. He had woken up to hear her expression to rejoin the lecherous snake and he needed to stop her.

Sakura moved towards him and folded her arms across her chest defiantly. "You shouldn't be up and moving yet. You need to rest and regain your strength. Most importantly, you need to rest and regain your chakra to fill out your chakra network properly."

Kakashi's 'hunned' as he tuned her out. He'd never listened to any medical physician fully in his life and didn't plan to do so now. Now sitting, he fought past the dizzy spell and looked up at her. "If you go back to Konoha they can protect you and you could put an end to this Sakura. You could put an end to running and help stop Orochimaru once and for all."

"You're a bastard," Sakura spat as her hands dropped. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You want me to go back to that damned village? That doesn't make any sense."

"And staying with Orachiamru does?" Kakashi countered.

Sakura paused, "Orochimaru has never betrayed me." Her voice was bitterly firm. "I'm not going to walk away from him and Sasuke to go back to that filth."

"You don't mean that," Kakashi looked up at her. "You don't mean that Sakura at all. Naruto is not filth."

"You are."

There was a drawn pause and then Kakashi nodded, "You're right I am." The dogs whimpered in a comforting manner and Sakura snickered, "Well at least you figured that out." She turned from him as the daunting realization of what was occurring so naturally hit her. She was talking to her rapist as if there was nothing to worry about-like it was normal.

"Your right," Kakashi agreed again. "I've figured out a lot of things about myself. I am not the man I want to be and I have lost any chance of redemption." Kakashi moved and stood up, "But you on the other hand, you still have the ability to make something worthwhile of yourself, to stop this mess and save people Sakura. Despite all that's happened, you can still save yourself. You can bring everyone back together and patch things up."

"Patch things up?" Sakura looked at him again with tears brimming in her eyes, "Patch things up?" What makes you think that I could patch things up? There's nothing left to patch up Kakashi. You can't undo the past for anyone."

"You can make a future Sakura. You know that if you return to Orochimaru you will be met with adversity and you could die. If you go home you could find people who still care about you-"

"People who sacrificed me," she countered.

"Naruto and your parents had nothing to do with that mission or the decision to rape you."

Kakashi's voice struck her deeply and she flinched back at his statement. He was cruel-cruel to mention it in such a voice. It sounded as if he was accusing her of something, like this situation was her fault. If she could be inside his head then she would know that her interpretation was correct. Kakashi was frustrated with her inability to see that it was nobody's fault, but his own.

She grew silent before attempting to say something when a dog shushed her quickly. Kakashi frowned and stared at his nin-kin as one by one they confirmed the presence of someone.

"Where?" Kakashi asked moving to his stuff and grabbing one of the limited kunai he had managed to acquire.

"Somewhere out there," Pakkun pointed towards the hallway. "It's trying to hid its chakra. You probably won't be able to sense him, but he's out there."

"Hiding his chakra makes him puzzling." Kakashi sighed, "Thanks guys-but I think it's time you go." Kakashi released the jutsu and in a puff of smoke the dogs disappeared leaving Sakura and Kakashi there.

"Who do you think it is?"

Kakashi shook his head, "I don't know." He moved to walk towards her and closed his eyes as a wave of nausea fell over him. "Damn it," he cursed waiting for the world to stop spinning. "It could be anyone."

Sakura watched him in slight concern of his condition. If he was this out of it and the man down the hallway was coming for them, an enemy, they might be in trouble. Hell, she was already in trouble if she thought he could be of any help. "You're out of it. It could be Orochimaru ."

"Or the Akatsuki," Kakashi agreed. "I thought I'd covered my tracks rather well, but they could have found me. As chakra depleted as I was-I can't be sure."

"It's still too young for Orochimaru to miss me," Sakura mused. "But I guess it's not out of the realm of possibility." She decided if there was someone out there she could leave him. She would let Kakashi be the sacrificial figure that he wanted and show him that maybe there was piece of 'redemption' left. If he died saving her like that then perhaps she could call it even.

She moved to the door and placed a hand on it trying to concentrate and see if she could sense anyone familiar. It was an impossible feet so she decided to try and see if she could hear the person. With her ear to the door she strained her hearing to try and pick something up while Kakashi waited for her to give him some sort of answer. All the while he cursed wishing he was at one hundred percent, bought more weapons, and was completely clothed. Fighting bare chested was dangerous and he yearned for some armor to feel the weight of it and his mask to hide himself from the world.

Putting her hear to the door she muttered, "Male. Sounds like two of them. No one I recognize."

Kakashi was on edge and moved towards the door again and his determination outweighed his nauseous stomach. He put an ear to the door and allowed his sensitive hearing to drift through the wood. Sakura stood back and stared at him-it was quite strange she realized. Strange to really watch his face and the emotions he held swim across it so easily. She could tell everything he was feeling by the way his brows furrowed together in confusion and his upper lip rose in concentration. There was very little unexpressed on his features and she found herself watching them. She watched as his mouth opened in shock, his lips whiten in fear and his chest rise and fall rapidly. His eyes were full of recognition and Sakura placed a hand on her kunai knowing that this wasn't good at all.

Kakashi backed away from the door and placed his hands on his knees as he gagged slightly. The fear that had developed in the pit of his stomach didn't mix well with his current physical condition and made him want to hurl. Closing his eyes he felt Sakura's light hand on his shoulder. "Akatsuki." He answered. "Hidan." Kakashi swallowed and instead of Sakura's light feminine touch he could feel a male's callous hands. " We need to go now." He stood up and shrugged her off his shoulders.

"What do you mean we?"

"Hidan isn't one to play by the rules," Kakashi looked at her. "He'll kill you simply because he wants to." The copy ninja moved and grabbed a shirt putting it over his head and looking once more like Sano. "He'd love to torture you first. Both of us."

"Did he torture you?" Sakura couldn't help but ask as the wounds on his back disappeared from view. Kakashi hesitated before deciding to answer as his hand unknowingly trembled. "Yes, but nothing I didn't deserve. We have to get out of here before they realize other ninja are on the grounds. If they're here then its only a matter of time."

"I'm not going to Konoha."

"Neither am I," Kakashi countered, "But we can't stay here."

"You can do what you want," Sakura moved towards the window. Kakashi grabbed her wrist and made her look at him, "Sakura-"

There was a bang on their door and neither ninja hesitated to jump out the window and close it behind them. The two made their way to the roof before Hidan burst into the room. Kakuzu came behind him with less enthusiasm. "What are you doing?"

"What do you mean what am I doing?" Hidan was loud and Sakura and Kakashi could hear him from the roof. They heard him open the window and look outside for something-or someone.

"How do you even know he was in here?" Kakuzu's voice was distinctive. "It's not like you have a radar on the Hatake."

On the rooftop Kakashi stiffened beside Sakura as Hidan answered. "We've followed his tracks to this village. He has to be here. And besides when you spend as much time with someone-"

"You mean in someone?" Kakauzu remarked correcting his teammate.

"Yes in someone so intimately," Hidan's voice was light. "You just know."

"Well he isn't here."

"Look around," Hidan answered. "I'm sure you'll find evidence that he was here."

There was some silence and on the rooftop neither ninja moved. They wanted to know what conclusions these two men would come up with before leaving. They needed intelligence and that was exactly what they got.

"Unless he has pink hair I don't think he's your man."

"There were dogs here," Hidan answered back, "In the bingo book, Kakashi summons is dogs."

"There was pink hair in the bathroom."

"That BITCH!" Hidan exclaimed and both Kakashi and Sakura flinched. "That girl from his team-the one he raped and then she ran off to Orochiamru. He must have met up with her."

Kakuzu agreed, "But I thought they didn't like each other."

"Maybe they like each other well enough." Hidan countered. "They must have rendezvous here." 

"Or its all in your head," Kakuzu countered. Hidan snorted, "Just send out your heart things and search for-"

The two ninja on the rooftop didn't hear the rest of it. Sakura turned and picked up Kakashi and ran off leaving no trace behind that they were even there. It was an odd sensation to carry a man on her back with such ease, but she had the strength of ten men and carrying Kakashi was nothing compared to what she could really do. Her training had paid off significantly despite her quick departure from the slug princess.

Kakashi himself was silent. He knew in his heart that the only reason Sakura had allowed him to piggyback was necessity She couldn't leave him behind for the other Akatsuki members to find. If they did they would question him and it could lead to her. Although deep down, Kakashi wished that she had done it out of some sort of love. Some sort of kindness. That was something he could ponder later because now he was worried about how much of the conversation she had understood.

Sakura herself was lost in her own thoughts. A man she had considered so strong, respectable, and then feared beyond anyone else was clinging on her back. He was very nearly helpless and she could feel the burden of his body against her own. It didn't scare her as it had before, but it wasn't a comfortable sensation. Sakura moved at top speed heading towards an abandoned house that was two miles in the distance. She didn't tell Kakashi this, but he hadn't asked either. There seemed to be a lot on his mind and hers as well.

She wasn't an idiot and if Kakashi thought that she hadn't picked up on the less than strategic innuendo's about Kakashi and Hidan he was wrong. She gathered that they had intimate moments and from the way Kakashi acted from hearing his voice she more than sure that it hadn't been voluntary. Her sensei had been raped while in the hands of the Akatsuki. That much was for sure. Considering how long he had been in there care it could have been multiple times and that's what struck Sakura hard. So hard in fact that she wanted to cry and as tears swelled in her eyes she did.

Stopping she laid Kakashi down on the floor in the abandon house and the man sat there looking at her as she tried to hide herself.

"Sakura?" Kakashi didn't know what to say, but he felt like he needed to say something as she began to cry lightly. "Sakura," he touched her and she flinched away from him.

"It hurts."

Kakashi thought he didn't hear right as she hugged herself on her knees in front of him. "Why does it hurt? Kakashi-sensei…."

Kakashi's own heart broke at the sight of her and he leaned in putting an arm around her. This time she let him. This time she leaned into him and Kakashi could feel her hair beneath his chin and smell her shampoo. "Sakura…."

She cried lightly and he held her befuddled. It hurt to see her like this, but he wasn't sure what he could do or say to make things right. He didn't think that anything could be done to make things right at all. So he settled for rocking her back and forth gently in a comforting manner and saying the most pathetic thing he could think of that didn't even begin to address the situation like it needed to be. "I'm sorry. Sakura I'm so sorry."

Sakura heard him as she cried, but she paid it no mind. He was warm and he was comforting. That was what she wanted and that was what she needed right now. She had never been a strong person when it came to her own emotions and feelings over the people that she loved. It was a shinobi rule to tamper yourself, but she couldn't do it and she didn't want to. She had seen the strength that Naruto had when he was fighting for things he believed and loved. She wanted the same things for herself and so she had adopted his attitude of caring to much to find that inner strength. Unfortunately, in situations like this it was easy to see that this ideal was a double edged sword.

Even now, despite it all, she felt bad for what she had done. She felt awful for putting Kakash in a situation where he had been subject to horrible cruel things and yet at the same time she wanted to feel justified. She wanted to be angry. She wanted to tear him from limb to limb and fight with herself because he deserved it. Or did he? Damn it! Sakura growled in frustration. "I'm so fucking tired." She pulled away from Kakashi then and grinded her teeth together. She didn't tell him, but she was just so tired of being…angry.

Kakashi withdrew himself and waited patiently. "I'm tired of being angry." She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. "Why the hell couldn't you have just gone home to Konoha or not search for me? Why did you have to find me?"

"To atone for what I've done," Kakashi answered solemnly. "To return you home."

"And that would make everything okay?" Sakura asked desperately. "That would absolve you?"

"No," Kakashi shook his head wondering where she was going with this. He didn't want to have this conversation, but if she needed it then he would answer truthfully. If she wanted it then he would give her what she wanted from him.

"Then what is it Kakashi? I couldn't sleep without seeing you, smelling you, fearing you for years. I have finally pushed it behind me. All of it and then you show up out of nowhere-why?"

"Because you need to go home Sakura," Kakashi could see he had hurt her deeply by showing up again, but it had to be done. She couldn't stay with that snake of a man. Not after what he had seen. She was better than a missing-nin. Better than this. "This isn't the life you were meant to lead."

"And you get to decide that?" She asked him almost accusingly. She had calmed down considerably and looking at him again with a plead in her eyes for some time of understating. He was hesitant at first to call it anger despite what she had said of being tired of the emotion, but when he looked at it closer her recognized it for what it was. She wanted some time of answers from him and damn did she deserve them as much as he wanted to keep them to himself.

"I changed you and put you on this path. I'm your teacher Sakura and I couldn't let you do this."

"I don't understand you Kakashi. I don't understand you at all. How can you say that you can't let me go on living like this when you could rape me like that?"

"Sakura," Kakashi's voice was soft. "I think that you and I need to talk about that. It's been long overdue." Kakashi swallowed hard, "You're blaming the wrong people and its causing you the wrong kind of pain."

"Then who should I blame?" Sakura looked at him and got quiet. "I heard you with Tsunade and then I talked with Sasuke when he came to Orochimaru. The village gave you the mission, but you took the whole blame for it."

Kakashi winced wondering what had happened between Sakura and Sasuke. "Did you tell him?" He didn't want to think what the Uchiha would do if he even considered that the village had given him a mission to rape Sakura. Considering how badly the boy reacted when he found out about the incident it would be ten times worse if he placed everyone in the village-like Sakura had- and added it to his list of vengeful conquests.

"No," Sakura sat down now and sighed, "I kept that to myself. He came to Orochimaru so changed and so angry. I didn't want to." Sakura shivered at the memory of Sasuke walking through the doors with a torn shirt and bloody from a battle. He never told her who it was with.

"Sakura,"Kakashi closed his eyes, "I don't know how to tell you this." 

"I want to know," Sakura countered and Kakashi realized then that she was ready. She was ready to hear the truth because she was so cold about it and unemotional. She was logical.

"My mission wasn't to rape you. My mission was to have you lose your virginity."

"What?" Sakura's eyes narrowed in disbelief. "Your mission was to make me have sex?" 

"Yes," Kakashi looked at her now. "The high suicide rates of females who had been raped in the field made the counsel decide that every female who planned to further her career couldn't be a virgin."

"What good would that serve?" Sakura was shocked and surprised.

"So if you were raped in the field then you could handle it better. You would be experienced."

Sakura stood up infuriated. What kind of answer was that? It wasn't she had been expecting at all and she walked the floor in annoyance. "That is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard."

"I agree," Kakashi's voice was soft. "I just couldn't get them to see that before you had to lose it."

"Ninja are tools right?" Sakura placed a hand on her hip and pinched her bottom lip in the other lost in thought. She rubbed her face in frustration and looked back at him, "Is this still going on?"

"No,"Kakashi stood up and felt a lot better. His chakra was replenishing itself fast and the healing she had done was a good job. There journey had taken a good turn for his health. The adrenaline he'd been feeling all night also helped his energy levels. "I managed to convince them otherwise after…that night."

"You?" Sakura voiced in disbelief. "Alright fine." Kakashi could tell she was trying very hard to restrain herself. She must have been feeling an overwhelming sense of emotion right now across the entire spectrum. "So, Tsunade ordered you to make sure I lost my virginity."

"Yes," Kakashi answered, "but Sakura she didn't order me to rape you. I had to make sure that you lost it so you could stay a chunin, but I didn't have to do what I did."

His voice was so full of regret and sorrow that Sakura wasn't sure how to respond other than the tears that came to her eyes again. She was emotionally exhausted at this poin. "So-why did you? Why did you call me to you and force yourself on me like that? You were drunk-"

"I wasn't that drunk," Kakashi countered as he turned from her in shame. He walked to a window and placed his palms on the window frame. "Other's came to my mind. I thought about talking to you. I thought about talking to Sasuke. I thought about a lot of things."

"Why not," Sakura asked. "Why didn't you talk to me about this? Why did you rape me?" She never thought she would ask that question, but now she wanted to know. She needed to know no matter how much it hurt. She had to even if she regretted it because it was the nightmare in her closet. The bogyman underneath her bed.

Kakashi shuddered and leaned against the window with both hands. He was tense and Sakura could see it in his shoulders and frame. Staring at the new scars that lined his arms he debated the answer over and over in his head. Nothing sounded right and nothing fit. It was all selfish and cruel. She wouldn't want to hear any of it and yet it was the truth. It as the truth about him no matter how bad he wanted to bury it.

"I raped you Sakura because I didn't want you to lose what I lost. I sacrificed my body for the sake of the village when I was a young boy and I _hate_ them for it." Kakashi stared at the window and his mind was transported back to that time. He still felt so raw and he realized that she must feel the same. "The truth is that I was raped in the field when I was boy-on a mission. I was taken advantage of because the village didn't respond the way that they were supposed to do. The way that we agreed upon. To this day I hate them for it and I didn't want you to hate them for it either. I thought it would be easier for you to hate me."

Sakura was shocked to hear what he was saying, "You meant that the village willingly let you endure that?"

Kakashi nodded and Sakura couldn't help herself. "How old were you?"

Kakashi took a deep breath and answered her honestly, "I was nine." He paused while she adjusted to this information. He was willingly to be that she was shocked and repulsed at the idea of a nine year old being in that situation. "I was a ninja at the time. Chunin," Kakashi made sure that this was clear. "It was expected of me and it was my duty. When I was asked to ask you to do the same thing…" He turned to her then and looked her in the eye. "I couldn't. I couldn't Sakura because I wanted you to hate me. Just me."

She was staring at him like he had grown another head before it all sunk in. "You didn't want me to rebel against the village. That wasn't your choice to make!" She clenched her fist and stared at the ground. "It wasn't your choice."

"I know," Kakashi looked at the ceiling as his voice flooded around the room. "There are a lot of things that I regret in my life and that night was one of them, but that's not the whole truth."

Sakura braced herself for more, but she couldn't have prepared her for what came next.

Kakashi's face was so open and he didn't hide anything. There was no way to describe his features, but honest. His features were honest from his forehead wrinkle to his mouth. "After that night-you wouldn't leave me. You were everywhere I turned. Everything reminded me of you and it tore at my soul Sakura. It ripped me in two. While I was a prisoner at the Akatsuki I went insane. The guilt of what I had done and feeling like I deserved their punishment kept me alive in that living hell. I was talking to myself. It had created its own persona-Sano."

Sakura blinked at the familiar name. She was having a hard time following him, but Kakashi got more animated. His hands were wide and he ran them through his locks. "Every night I dreamed of you. Every second you were on my mind and Sano made sure I paid for it. He made sure that I realized what I was…." He walked around lightly and she followed his pace with her eyes as he stepped closer. "You kept me alive in the dark Sakura, but I was insane. Insane until I saw you again with Orochimaru and came to terms with myself and how selfish I had been that night. Why I let myself do what I did."

"Sakura-the reason my judgment was so clouded and the reason I survived all of this was-you." Kakashi was so raw as he stood in front of her barely six inches away now. Her teal eyes trapping him and leaving him grounded.

"Sakura, I love you."

**And that was more than anyone should have to swallow, but I wanna get this plot moving. Hahahahah **


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